Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Guess you never did military service? That was my rude awakening at the ripe old age of 17. Believe me, it was not a kind and gentle experience and I had far worse things done and said to me there than ever said at home...
Right! I pity a boy going into the military who has never heard a cuss word or seen someone angry in his life!
And for girls, if their future husband does something naughty (like cheating), should they not cuss nor get angry with him? Do we want to teach them to not get angry? (Some men might like that idea! )
And there are many careers where people get angry and nasty. Bosses - co-workers - employees. Blue collar workers can cuss up a storm. Certain medical doctors have been known to be quite verbally abusive to other workers in a hospital - they can be out and out nasty!
FYI - You should hear some of the words coming out of kid's mouths these days! (When they are walking down the street and away from teachers and parents.)
Hell I don't even say the S word, much less the F word except once in a blue moon. I can guarantee the same is true for my brother - he's probably even better than me. Maybe because our parents were immigrants and never did it either. Come to think of it, same with my wife and her parents.
The kids pick it up because we live in an increasingly vulgar permissive society. They learn it from other kids, they learn it from the media, they learn it through social sites. Just watching TV and some of the shows geared for the kids fill me with despair quite frankly. Both of mykids learned their full arsenal of swear words on the bus and other kids are school. All starting in elementary school. They know it all. It isn't from my occasional uses of profanity, that's for sure, especially since I never say some of the words they know. My daughter casually explained the difference between a hand-job and a blow-job to my shocked husband and me a few weeks ago in the car. She didn't blink an eye. Kids talk about this stuff....constantly....through their social media sites or at school. We carefully monitor websites they visit and most of it is blocked. Her knowledge isn't through browsing website at home or what we are saying. I suppose you can keep them pure by home schooling, keeping them from doing organized sports and very carefully selecting their friends up through adulthood. Good luck with that though.
If you think that your kids don't do any of this stuff, I have a suggestion for you (not "you" theatergypsy--but to other posters on this thread). Go through all their texts and social media sites one day. Many of these kids are vulgar, vulgar, vulgar. We live in an excellent school district in an affluent area and many of these kids go to church, live in respectable families, etc. I was appalled at what these kids say to one another. Aside from one kid who texted in complete sentences and was quite the gentleman, most of them are trash talking because it is the "cool" thing to do. I chewed out my daughter for some of the things she was saying and gave her a huge lecture about being more of a lady in how she expresses herself. Now she is on a short leash and we are carefully checking her phone after some unfortunate things that happened at school a few weeks ago involving two kids sending pornography to her and harassing her in the most vulgar way possible. These kids are horrid with what they say and I'm at my wits end regarding this epidemic of bad behavior, especially on their social media networks.
I know that I'm a bit off topic with cussing at or around your kids but just wanted to comment on how they do learn some of this stuff. Sorry to get on my soapbox but I'm a bit depressed about it actually.
My, my have times changed. When our 31 year old son was in 4th or 5th grade at a public school (before social media, etc), he mentioned that a classmate had said "the F word" at recess. Our son was pretty shocked. But, as he was explaining the situation something didn't make sense. I finally asked him what he thought the F word was. He sincerely replied "Fat". When I told him what people usually meant when they talked about "the F word" he was even more shocked.
Right! I pity a boy going into the military who has never heard a cuss word or seen someone angry in his life!
And for girls, if their future husband does something naughty (like cheating), should they not cuss nor get angry with him? Do we want to teach them to not get angry? (Some men might like that idea! )
And there are many careers where people get angry and nasty. Bosses - co-workers - employees. Blue collar workers can cuss up a storm. Certain medical doctors have been known to be quite verbally abusive to other workers in a hospital - they can be out and out nasty!
FYI - You should hear some of the words coming out of kid's mouths these days! (When they are walking down the street and away from teachers and parents.)
Gosh, you are certainly right about doctors. Used to love my former sweet McDreamy cardiologist until I heard him talking to his office staff quietly out in the hallway. Profane and quite nasty. Really nasty to the point of making almost personal remarks to the poor victim of his displeasure. No wonder why the receptionists at the front desk were so rude and nasty to everyone. The attitude of the doctors certainly didn't set up a positive office environment.
In the military we were often subjected to this sort of thing from some of the senior leadership as well. Just had to grit your teeth and bear it. Fortunately my hazing early on in my career made me a bit more capable of tuning it out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
My, my have times changed. When our 31 year old son was in 4th or 5th grade at a public school (before social media, etc), he mentioned that a classmate had said "the F word" at recess. Our son was pretty shocked. But, as he was explaining the situation something didn't make sense. I finally asked him what he thought the F word was. He sincerely replied "Fat". When I told him what people usually meant when they talked about "the F word" he was even more shocked.
Yeah, the loss of innocence so early on is sad to me. It starts even earlier. My sweet almost non verbal son at daycare when he was about 2 came out and called one his care providers f***ing b**ch . The staff was beyond shocked and called me. Now this is something that I would never utter at home and told them. Seems that another little boy had picked this up from home and was exercising his vocabulary. Too bad my son also picked this up, especially since he only knew a few words at the time. Getting back to the bus though...some of the Kindergarteners were using this type of profanity. Can't imagine the language in their houses.
Right! I pity a boy going into the military who has never heard a cuss word or seen someone angry in his life!
And for girls, if their future husband does something naughty (like cheating), should they not cuss nor get angry with him? Do we want to teach them to not get angry? (Some men might like that idea! )
And there are many careers where people get angry and nasty. Bosses - co-workers - employees. Blue collar workers can cuss up a storm. Certain medical doctors have been known to be quite verbally abusive to other workers in a hospital - they can be out and out nasty!
FYI - You should hear some of the words coming out of kid's mouths these days! (When they are walking down the street and away from teachers and parents.)
There is a difference between hearing curse words, and the anger that usually accompanies them, and having them directed at you by the one person in the world you are supposed to be able to trust implicitly to have your best interests in mind.
It is very, very different for a child to hear "You are a f---ing piece of s--t" from their parent than as an adult from a co-worker.
There is a difference between hearing curse words, and the anger that usually accompanies them, and having them directed at you by the one person in the world you are supposed to be able to trust implicitly to have your best interests in mind.
It is very, very different for a child to hear "You are a f---ing piece of s--t" from their parent than as an adult from a co-worker.
^Very well put!
I once read that kids who grew up being emotionally and verbally abused and later joined the military found boot camp to be easier to tolerate. What they heard from their drill sergeants was tame compared to what they heard from their verbally and emotionally abusive parents.
While I do agree that I'm somewhat tougher because of how I grew up, I think it did come with a price for me, emotionally and psychologically.
Of course the military is a vastly different situation compared to regular civilian life right? Not to mention the fact that it's somewhat "expected" for drill sergeants to be tough considering the nature of the job/field. That ends once you are out of the military if I'm not mistaken. It's more or less a vacuum kind of experience? I'm not sure if I'm explaining myself well.
I think emotional/verbal abuse growing up has implications on you that you take outside in everyday life. And it has the ability to affect your future relationships and home life with your kids and spouse. I personally have an inner insecurity and fear of the fact that if I want a family, I will have to establish a close relationship with someone else. It's a little terrifying.
Not to mention that I don't think the job of parents is to be our drill sergeants
Not necessarily "right or wrong" but definitely low-class and a poor example.
I don't believe poverty or social class have anything to do with cursing. As for as a poor example, well, yes. If you are cursing AT your children in a way that is verbally abusive.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siggy20
The kids pick it up because we live in an increasingly vulgar permissive society. They learn it from other kids, they learn it from the media, they learn it through social sites. Just watching TV and some of the shows geared for the kids fill me with despair quite frankly. Both of my kids learned their full arsenal of swear words on the bus and other kids are school. All starting in elementary school. They know it all. It isn't from my occasional uses of profanity, that's for sure, especially since I never say some of the words they know. My daughter casually explained the difference between a hand-job and a blow-job to my shocked husband and me a few weeks ago in the car. She didn't blink an eye. Kids talk about this stuff....constantly....through their social media sites or at school. We carefully monitor websites they visit and most of it is blocked. Her knowledge isn't through browsing website at home or what we are saying. I suppose you can keep them pure by home schooling, keeping them from doing organized sports and very carefully selecting their friends up through adulthood. Good luck with that though.
I'd second this. Language skills are not taught or appreciated as they once were and IMO Reality TV is horrid and much viewed by kids today. Reading and writing help a lot with developing communication skills, BUT, you can't underestimate peers and all media forms. So curse words are learned whether one is cussed at or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by el_marto
it's completely ****brained to care about "cursing". No one is born being offended by those words, people get offended by them after other people tell them to be offended. It's so arbitrary. You can use any other word to convey exactly the same meaning but god help you if you make one of the "forbidden noises". It's silly to me and I can't play along with it.
Not born offended, however socially acceptable behaviors are taught based on what is acceptable in society. It changes over time. I don't think having a "potty mouth" will ever be accepted as 100% okay behavior in public though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
There is a difference between hearing curse words, and the anger that usually accompanies them, and having them directed at you by the one person in the world you are supposed to be able to trust implicitly to have your best interests in mind.
It is very, very different for a child to hear "You are a f---ing piece of s--t" from their parent than as an adult from a co-worker.
Agree. And a parent can be abusive without uttering one curse word!
Gosh, you are certainly right about doctors. Used to love my former sweet McDreamy cardiologist until I heard him talking to his office staff quietly out in the hallway. Profane and quite nasty. Really nasty to the point of making almost personal remarks to the poor victim of his displeasure. No wonder why the receptionists at the front desk were so rude and nasty to everyone. The attitude of the doctors certainly didn't set up a positive office environment.
In the military we were often subjected to this sort of thing from some of the senior leadership as well. Just had to grit your teeth and bear it. Fortunately my hazing early on in my career made me a bit more capable of tuning it out.
Yeah, the loss of innocence so early on is sad to me. It starts even earlier. My sweet almost non verbal son at daycare when he was about 2 came out and called one his care providers f***ing b**ch . The staff was beyond shocked and called me. Now this is something that I would never utter at home and told them. Seems that another little boy had picked this up from home and was exercising his vocabulary. Too bad my son also picked this up, especially since he only knew a few words at the time. Getting back to the bus though...some of the Kindergarteners were using this type of profanity. Can't imagine the language in their houses.
Wow! I work for a group of doctors and most never swear; some will say "freaking" or something like that once in a while. I guess I'm lucky; we really do all work together, most of the time.
While I believe your story about your son, it's amazing how many kids pick this stuff up from someone else's kid.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
