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I'm not "wagging my finger" I'm simply pointing out people have choices in the matter but others would just rather make excuses. My husband was able to strive because he didn't have to worry about things at home, taking off when the kids were sick, could travel at the drop of a hat because he didn't have to worry about last minute kid arrangements, etc, etc, etc. I have always said that single parents obviously don't have the ability to do this but every married couple could make choices to allow one parent to stay home....yes, they can.....
You are in the sense that you are casting judgment when you don't know the private matters of other families. You don't know what choices people have. And you could have brought more to the table by working opposite shifts of your husband - say a few nights a week when he and the kids were sleeping. You know, for the little extras or for insurance in case your husband lost his job, became ill, whatever. Should I say you were irresponsible to entirely bring yourself out of the employment market? That you are just making excuses since you could have gotten family to help out when he was traveling? Is it my place to say that to begin with? Obviously not. You did the best you could under your circumstances with the resources you had available, just as most of us do.
Further, I don't see why it's necessary for all people to make the same choices.
I'm not "wagging my finger" I'm simply pointing out people have choices in the matter but others would just rather make excuses. My husband was able to strive because he didn't have to worry about things at home, taking off when the kids were sick, could travel at the drop of a hat because he didn't have to worry about last minute kid arrangements, etc, etc, etc. I have always said that single parents obviously don't have the ability to do this but every married couple could make choices to allow one parent to stay home....yes, they can.....
There it is again. EVERY couple. You conveniently ignore the fact that minimum wage is WAY below a living wage in almost the whole country. Not everyone is college material, and, as I pointed out before, someone still has to flip the burgers and fix the cars.
Even if this shift work you keep mentioning were available to everyone who wanted it, it is a strain on a marriage to never be home together, and a parent who has worked all night is not going to provide adequate care for children. I know people who've done this, and the kids watched movies while the night shift parent slept during the day. It is cheaper than day care but it is not better. It does not make a parent available to get their kids "on the right track" if they are asleep.
Do do something else then???? Really, no factories anywhere near you at all???
Yep, got out of college making a whopping $16,000/year, after paying every dime of my own college, first apartment, dump, was $200/month but that's what I could afford. When we got married we bought our first house, all $40,000 of it because that is all we could afford on one income. We always lived on one income so we could plan for one of us to stay at home. We certainly couldn't afford to golf when we first got married, let alone other luxuries like going out to eat, etc. but because I stayed home, my husband could do more for work, moved up the ladder and yes, we do fine now thanks, so our $1800/year golf membership is pretty easy to swing....thanks for asking....hubs came from a family that had ZERO money, but his mom stayed home to make sure the kids got on the right track and they are all now college educated adults doing very well...again, thanks for asking!!
One thing that has changed since you rented your first apartment for $200 and bought your first home for $40,000 is the cost of living has gone up while wages have remained somewhat stagnant. Those types of prices for housing are not the norm for most parts of the country. If a family has to pay $1,200 per month to rent an apartment or $200K for a small house in an ok area then they may not be able to make it on one income.
I'm going out on a limb here and guessing that she doesn't understand outsourcing.
Once someone labels childcare as "dumping" children it's obvious they're not interested in learning how most Americans live and have no idea that this is not a one-size-fits-all country.
You are ignoring how everything you suggest doesn't apply to everyone.
Are you aware that it makes you appear as if you are unable to grasp simple concepts and logic?
No, I think the reverse is true, you can't get past ONE suggestion--I presented factories as ONE option, how about retail? Retail jobs could be a nice SECOND income, which you are failing to grasp and ANY retailer would be happy to have someone that only wanted to work nights/weekends. Move into retail management and they make very good money, especially at stores like Macy's, etc....which I KNOW you have in Pitt. How about working in a call center? They have night shifts. Hospitals have more than just nurses working night shifts. Go get your MA certificate--it's a couple short months to get that..or a pharm tech certificate...both jobs pay a nice SECOND income, even in Pittsburgh. Even working 2 ten hours shifts just on Saturday and Sunday would provide a nice second income for a family that needs a little extra. Restaurants certainly want people to work nights and weekends and getting a job in a nicer restaurant can bring in $50,000+ in a year...that's a very nice second income. Do you have restaurants in Pittsburgh? I've only been there once but I think there are some.......do you want to keep talking about "factory work" as being the only option there?
How about doing in-home day care, maybe you have a skill like teaching piano or tutoring other children...
One thing that has changed since you rented your first apartment for $200 and bought your first home for $40,000 is the cost of living has gone up while wages have remained somewhat stagnant. Those types of prices for housing are not the norm for most parts of the country. If a family has to pay $1,200 per month to rent an apartment or $200K for a small house in an ok area then they may not be able to make it on one income.
And, as another suggestion I made, move to an area where you can afford to live....same town we bought our first house in, 2 bedroom apartment in a nice area goes for $500/month...in the same building we moved into after we got married, paid $400/month there way back when. Even doing assembly work at the factory there would pay enough to live off one income in that town....same with many, many, many places in the country. $200,000 would buy you a VERY nice, 3000+ sq foot house in a prime location in that town.....again, it's a choice....
The same job I had in that town now starts at $40,000....so, it was more affordable when???
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