Should a baby have his father's or mother's last name? (support, parent)
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In another thread about teen pregnancy, there is a debate about whether or not a baby should be given the father's last name.
I personally think that the baby should have the mother's last name, unless the parents are married. (Especially in cases of teen pregnancies.) if the father sticks around and is a good father, then the last name can be changed or hyphenated.
Thoughts?
Why debate? You name your child however you want to, it is none of other people's businesses. My oldest brother has my dad's last name, my other brother has both my mom and dad's last name, my sister has my uncle's last name, I have both mom and dad's last name.
Where I come from, its always the dad's name which is given to the children. Should it be that way? No. It should depend on who is caring for the child (caregiver).
If you dont think people make 1,000 assumptions about you just by looking at you, you're wrong. I'm not justifying that, just telling you how it is. We can agree to disagree, or you can frantically keep hitting refresh in effort to tear apart every post I make.
Of course people make assumptions....but honestly, most people know that assumptions based on the names in a family are likley going to be wrong.
It's less confusing all around. Especially when multiple fathers with different last names are involved and less stigma.
I'll add that if the children live exclusively with the father, then the father's last name should be used.
My personal preference is the traditional way - get married first, and give your child their father's name. Most people still give the father's last name only. That is my preference too, in the standard situation of married parents.
That would be my personal preference. I'm glad I'm not raising kids and feel that this generation has so many confusing issues to deal with that were not even a thought in the recent past.
Idk what is a good answer except we already make it too hard to be a parent and create deadbeats. Why alienate another parent by not giving one parent a voice in naming there child or having the honor of having the child have there lastname? Or anyother situation?
That would be my personal preference. I'm glad I'm not raising kids and feel that this generation has so many confusing issues to deal with that were not even a thought in the recent past.
Confusing? People name their kids what works for them....people know them by their name. What is confusing?
The 'past' wasn't always has great as people want to remember. I'll take a few extra last names over all that.
There's a gotcha in this scenario. The unmarried father's last name will likely never change. The mother's might. If the mother gives the child her maiden name, and then subsequently marries a different man, you've got a child whose last name doesn't match either parent.
Lots of women I know did not take their husbands name, so I see that as a non issue. I think the naming thing is entirely dependent on the situation.
In another thread about teen pregnancy, there is a debate about whether or not a baby should be given the father's last name.
I personally think that the baby should have the mother's last name, unless the parents are married. (Especially in cases of teen pregnancies.) if the father sticks around and is a good father, then the last name can be changed or hyphenated.
Thoughts?
I am married and never took the hubbys name, hyphenated on about three documents than got annoyed and stuck with my own name. Our daughter has his last name.
We almost didn't get married (not important to either of us in the slightest) and I still would have given her, her fathers last name. But, one of her middle names is my last name.
As a woman who has been raising a child with a different last name for the entire 19 years of that child's life, it has literally caused ZERO issues and we travel abroad frequently. I have never had an issue with people calling me the "wrong" name in school or elsewhere, mostly because it happened so rarely. If anything it is much more common here for children to have a different name than their mothers than their fathers.
I am an older woman and seriously think that women should not take their husband's name when they marry. I did, but I swear it creates other problems. For example, when I transferred my license to Texas, I had to have my marriage license and my birth certificate even though I had been married for 40 years. All because my married name was different than the name I was given when I was born. (Of course, it WAS in Texas).
Tradition? I dont know, personal choice I guess, but I would think everyone in the "family" having the same last name would prevent a lot of confusion and add to the sense of unity within the family. Sounds cliche, but just being too "lazy" to change it seems like a silly reason. I know there are other reasons, but several of my couple friends have told me that in the past.
My reasoning wasn't lazy but practical. My last name is how I had been known my entire personal and my professional life. All of my pubs were in my own name, if I changed it, I become disconnected from my professional work. All of my scientist girlfriends have done the same. Some of us may use hubbys name socially but none of us have changed it legally.
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