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Issues like they wont let me go home with one of my parents that were picking me up from after school care because our names were different. Happened many times, how do you prove you're the parent of a child with a different last name, believe the 5 year old who says it's ok? It was hard at times uneccessarily is my point.
My marrieds friends have said it, I said that in my post... Whether you believe it or not, if you're married to someone and don't have the same last name, or your last name is different than your child, there's going to be a perception that something is up there from outside people looking in who don't know the specifics or your situation. And from the inside, I would think there is really no reason to not have the same name, so why not, it's not that difficult to do.
If I meet a couple with different last names or they dont share one name with their kids, I'm going to assume they aren't married, or recently divorced, or there's some sort of broken home situation going on. People have different opinions, largely due to superficial information, like it or not, right or wrong, that's how it works. If you're OK with that, then it shouldn't matter to you, so keep living with different last names. For me, that doesn't work, largely based on personal experience. Just expressing my opinion.
There's plenty of reasons not to have the same name. People have a connection to their names, especially if they are a professional. Some women won't want to take their husband's name because that's a patriarchal tradition and they don't want to continue and reinforce that. Some don't because their husband's name would sound very weird next to their own first name. Some men take their wives names instead. Some couples both keep their own names, some hyphenate, and some create an entirely new surname for the both of them. None of these scenarios should ever indicate to an outsider that there are issues in their relationship.
There's plenty of reasons not to have the same name. People have a connection to their names, especially if they are a professional. Some women won't want to take their husband's name because that's a patriarchal tradition and they don't want to continue and reinforce that. Some don't because their husband's name would sound very weird next to their own first name. Some men take their wives names instead. Some couples both keep their own names, some hyphenate, and some create an entirely new surname for the both of them. None of these scenarios should ever indicate to an outsider that there are issues in their relationship.
God no wonder our society is screwed up, theres no boundaries anymore and to much me,me,me, i,i,i.
Whats the point of marriage anymore if it suppose to be the joining of two to one. But then you want to be two separate people?
Father, and here's why... Lineage. So much easier to trace your ancestry if there's consistency in the surnames.
But what about those women who have 6 or 7 kids with all different men? Every half-sibling will have a different last name and different from the mother.
God no wonder our society is screwed up, theres no boundaries anymore and to much me,me,me, i,i,i.
Whats the point of marriage anymore if it suppose to be the joining of two to one. But then you want to be two separate people?
The name does not make or break a marriage. The name might symbolise the joining of two to one but it doesn't make them any more joined than if they both keep their own names.
God no wonder our society is screwed up, theres no boundaries anymore and to much me,me,me, i,i,i.
Whats the point of marriage anymore if it suppose to be the joining of two to one. But then you want to be two separate people?
There are plenty of strong marriages in cultures where names are not changed, do you know it is prohibited by culture and even law in many places? There are no younger women here where I live with the same surnames as their children, married or not. It has been against the law for 35 years!
Hmmm....I guess whatever the parents work out is fine with me.
I can see the point of giving the child the father's name in case the mother marries, but what if the father turns out to be a very absent father and doesn't support the child?
God no wonder our society is screwed up, theres no boundaries anymore and to much me,me,me, i,i,i.
Whats the point of marriage anymore if it suppose to be the joining of two to one. But then you want to be two separate people?
That's a ridiculous assertion. What does a name have to do with how committed one is to a partner? A name or certificate have nothing to do with emotional commitment. Perhaps some people don't view marriage of "joining of two to one", but 2 individuals, who each have a name, choosing to spend their life together (and really meaning it).
Name should be whoever will be the primary caregiver. IF things happen to work out in the long run, there's no reason the name of the child/mother couldn't be changed at some future date so everyone has the same last name--if that's something the family wants. I think that's better than taking the last name of the father automatically hoping he sticks around only to have the child feel put out by the reminder and unable to legally change it until they're 18.
Given that some 50% of marriages end in divorce do you feel the same should apply to married couple?
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