stalemate with stubborn 14 yo (teenagers, teaching, divorced, single parent)
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I'd try to have a good talk with him first and try to find out if he has been particularly upset about something. When my kids get especially obnoxious, it has worked for me (and them). He might want to talk; if you can stay calm, give it a try.
If you are able to resolve things...no Ipod for at least a week with good behavior. Make sure he is going to school; check with office or counselor.
SCabbage, I know what you mean; but everyone is different, every kid is different, and all we can do is recommend what has worked for us. Some of us just try to help.
I would not give him the charger under any circumstances. A friend had a problem with her son not going to school. She finally called the police, and they put him in some sort of detention center. She said his record would be cleared when he turned a certain age.
The police told the boy that everytime he played hooky, he would spend the night in detention. He did not like it. I remember Social Services getting involved too somehow.
Do NOT give in! You'll never be an effective parent again if you do.
I'd take the Ipod away permanently. You don't get an Ipod back after cutting school in demonstration of being grounded from it for 3 days. You loose all rights to an Ipod forever after doing something like that.
Don't cover for him with the school. Don't give him an excused absence. Notify the school of what he's doing. Let him suffer the consequences.
If he doesn't go to school, call the police because it's against the law to be truant. Let them come to the house and have a talk with him.
All good, though I expect it may already be too late. i would even go a step further though. I would consider him on two strikes. if he gets a third by not going to class again, then the iPod will be permanently gone. I would then proceed to crush it with a hammer in front of him to show that you mean business. iPods are cheap compared to the value this lesson will send. This is going to hurt, but if you don't dig in soon, years 15-18 are going to be extremely rough for you.
How did he "skip" a day in school? Did he stay home? Did he ditch school and spend the day hanging out at Taco Bell? Where were you when he "skipped" a day?
And for the bonus round: How have you managed to give a 14-year old so much power that you're in a "stalemate" with him?
She said "go on strike" "no cooking food." That doesn't mean no eating.
14 year olds are is perfectly capable of making their own meals.
She said "No food cooking" actually, I quoted it. The meaning of that is very vague just like skipping a day in school, no one knows what that means either.
You people live in a different world. I've never heard of a child telling their parent what they're going to do and living to tell about it.
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