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I didn't say I was the standard and everyone would change their mind. I said it is POSSIBLE. One can't say for sure at 30. No one can.
Well, on the other hand (as per the quoted poster) how can someone be so sure at age 30 that they want children and go ahead and have one?!
I was always sure I didn't want children or to be a parent in any way, got a tubal ligation at age 30 (insurance wouldn't cover it before that) and am now 61 and have never had a moment's regret. I know a lot of people, men and women, who have grown older with similar experiences and feelings. I think the poster who didn't know herself very well at 30 should consider her opinions to be completely subjective and applicable only to herself.
My sister didn't have children of her own. It was fine when all the nieces and nephews were young. She liked to be an auntie without the responsibility of being a mom. And then our Mom passed away, and she became freakish and mean about keeping things the way they were and not wanting anyone to begin their own traditions. She is alone. Most of the nieces and nephews are grown and on their own, always in touch with their Moms, as the mother child bond is a strong one. It didn't hit her until our Mom passed, and the rest of us retreated to our families to mourn and be comforted.
Being childless may work for some, and it may be what you like in the present. Just be sure to look ahead about whether as an older adult if you will be lonely....
Ok, I'm back. At the risk of offending others (I don't care), my experience with childless adults-both men and women is not positive. Having children is a huge asset in learning to be empathetic with others, learning not to be judgemental, accepting others as they are, and learning to relax about life in general- children teach you that you are not in control of the world, that the world doesn't end if you're not on schedule, that people are who they are and you can't make them be what you want them to be, and mostly, that you are not omnipotent!!! It humbles you. I really do not care what anyone else thinks--- there is no way to learns some of life's lessons in the same way as raising a child. Yes, it is your choice to have or not have children. But you will remain somewhat of a child yourself until you have a child yourself. Period. You can't learn all there is to learn by listening to what someone else says (as with many life's lessons). You have to experience it for yourself. Raising a family helps to round you as a person, making you whole and able to help the younger generation with your wisdom.
Ok, I'm back. At the risk of offending others (I don't care), my experience with childless adults-both men and women is not positive. Having children is a huge asset in learning to be empathetic with others, learning not to be judgemental, accepting others as they are, and learning to relax about life in general- children teach you that you are not in control of the world, that the world doesn't end if you're not on schedule, that people are who they are and you can't make them be what you want them to be, and mostly, that you are not omnipotent!!! It humbles you. I really do not care what anyone else thinks--- there is no way to learns some of life's lessons in the same way as raising a child. Yes, it is your choice to have or not have children. But you will remain somewhat of a child yourself until you have a child yourself. Period. You can't learn all there is to learn by listening to what someone else says (as with many life's lessons). You have to experience it for yourself. Raising a family helps to round you as a person, making you whole and able to help the younger generation with your wisdom.
I have met plenty of parents who are judgmental and non empathic.
Ok, I'm back. At the risk of offending others (I don't care), my experience with childless adults-both men and women is not positive. Having children is a huge asset in learning to be empathetic with others, learning not to be judgemental, accepting others as they are, and learning to relax about life in general- children teach you that you are not in control of the world, that the world doesn't end if you're not on schedule, that people are who they are and you can't make them be what you want them to be, and mostly, that you are not omnipotent!!! It humbles you. I really do not care what anyone else thinks--- there is no way to learns some of life's lessons in the same way as raising a child. Yes, it is your choice to have or not have children. But you will remain somewhat of a child yourself until you have a child yourself. Period. You can't learn all there is to learn by listening to what someone else says (as with many life's lessons). You have to experience it for yourself. Raising a family helps to round you as a person, making you whole and able to help the younger generation with your wisdom.
My point is that not even all childless couples can fly off like free birds.
I have two friends who are absolutely chained to their business. Leaving town takes an act of god and coordination of efforts that is out of this world.
My other friend has a sick, elderly mother that limits her movement.
I just like the way you worded the "free birds" line.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector
The only person who ever gave me pressure about having kids was my mother, but once she got her Pomeranian, the grandchild requests dropped by about 75%.
I hate it when "baby mamas" tell me I need to go ahead and "pop out some babies". Why do they want me to have kids so bad? So I can be a "baby mama" like they are, struggling and having to deal with a "baby daddy" who doesn't even want to pay child support? Thanks, but no thanks.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplepeach
Ok, I'm back. At the risk of offending others (I don't care), my experience with childless adults-both men and women is not positive. Having children is a huge asset in learning to be empathetic with others, learning not to be judgemental, accepting others as they are, and learning to relax about life in general- children teach you that you are not in control of the world, that the world doesn't end if you're not on schedule, that people are who they are and you can't make them be what you want them to be, and mostly, that you are not omnipotent!!! It humbles you. I really do not care what anyone else thinks--- there is no way to learns some of life's lessons in the same way as raising a child. Yes, it is your choice to have or not have children. But you will remain somewhat of a child yourself until you have a child yourself. Period. You can't learn all there is to learn by listening to what someone else says (as with many life's lessons). You have to experience it for yourself. Raising a family helps to round you as a person, making you whole and able to help the younger generation with your wisdom.
There is so much BS in this post you could fertilize every farm in Indiana and Ohio with it.
I hate it when "baby mamas" tell me I need to go ahead and "pop out some babies". Why do they want me to have kids so bad? So I can be a "baby mama" like they are, struggling and having to deal with a "baby daddy" who doesn't even want to pay child support? Thanks, but no thanks.
You pretty much lost any serious impact you might had on me with your statement when you started throwing around the phrases "baby mama and baby daddy".
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