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My 30 year old daughter has told me several times she and her SO have no plans to marry or have kids. I raised her to believe she could have a full and satisfying life without getting married, having one man in her life or having kids. Seems she listened. I know several young women who have made the same decision. While I feel my life would not be nearly so happy without my kids I respect each person's decision and am thankful we live in a time when these decisions are even possible.
Here are some things you should never say to these women.
I'm very supportive of my girlfriend who doesn't want to have kids. We have been friends since we met as coworkers in her early 20s when she was right out of college. She is in her early 30s now. She and her husband never wanted to have kids. Everyone hassles them---their parents and friends. That's really the only negative thing about choosing to not have children. They enjoy traveling and vacation constantly. Sometimes up to 5 vacations a year in addition to many weekend excisions. She won't regret a minute of it. People need to back off and stop pressuring others.
I feel it is important to expose kids to ALL viewpoints. It is called REALITY! (Pro AND con viewpoints.)
People who filter out what they don't want to hear (like Facebook pages which are a fantasy make-believe world of fiction - no contrary viewpoints allowed), are doing a disservice to their kids.
It's each to their own. I would never criticize a woman for not wanting kids. If anyone had told me 5 years ago that I would be a Mama I would have thought they were crazy.
Sometimes people change their minds (like I did) about having kids and others do not. Either way is perfectly fine as long as they're happy with the choice
I wouldn't be able to travel any more without children because my wife never had enough PTO to leave town more than 2 times a year.
Now that she stays home with them, we actually have much more flexibility to travel (and have).
But back to the op, no one has any business having any interest or judgment on why someone does not want to take on the responsibility of another life. It'd be like saying, "Hey! Why don't you have a dog?"
She could have stayed home even without kids for the same flexibility.
Yeah. I seriously doubt she would have interrupted her climb up the corporate ladder to spend more time at the beach for me.
For raising her own children - yes.
My point is that not even all childless couples can fly off like free birds.
I have two friends who are absolutely chained to their business. Leaving town takes an act of god and coordination of efforts that is out of this world.
My other friend has a sick, elderly mother that limits her movement.
My point is that not even all childless couples can fly off like free birds.
I have two friends who are absolutely chained to their business. Leaving town takes an act of god and coordination of efforts that is out of this world.
My other friend has a sick, elderly mother that limits her movement.
You are only focusing on flexibility. My friends wouldn't be able to afford to travel like they do if they had children. They go on elaborate trips all over the world. This isn't the main reason they chose to not have children, but it is a significant factor in their decision.
The only person who ever gave me pressure about having kids was my mother, but once she got her Pomeranian, the grandchild requests dropped by about 75%.
I have often told her she should develop closer relationships with the children of her nieces and nephews, but she really doesn't bother. She was like that with my cousins too - while I had very close relationships with my aunties and uncles, my cousins mostly did not have a close relationship with my mother, except for one, and I believe she failed him horribly at a time when she should have reached out to him.
So that all kind of makes me think she wouldn't be as great of a grandmother as she thinks, anyway.
Honestly, if my daughter decided not to have kids, I probably would have said all 5 things, and if she didn't like it, tough.
As with anything else, I tell them what I think, one time, and then I shut up about it.
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