Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-31-2014, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,884,453 times
Reputation: 47912

Advertisements

My 30 year old daughter has told me several times she and her SO have no plans to marry or have kids. I raised her to believe she could have a full and satisfying life without getting married, having one man in her life or having kids. Seems she listened. I know several young women who have made the same decision. While I feel my life would not be nearly so happy without my kids I respect each person's decision and am thankful we live in a time when these decisions are even possible.
Here are some things you should never say to these women.

5 Things to Never Say to a Woman Who Doesn't Want Kids | Alternet
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-31-2014, 07:59 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,772,384 times
Reputation: 30712
I'm very supportive of my girlfriend who doesn't want to have kids. We have been friends since we met as coworkers in her early 20s when she was right out of college. She is in her early 30s now. She and her husband never wanted to have kids. Everyone hassles them---their parents and friends. That's really the only negative thing about choosing to not have children. They enjoy traveling and vacation constantly. Sometimes up to 5 vacations a year in addition to many weekend excisions. She won't regret a minute of it. People need to back off and stop pressuring others.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 08:02 AM
 
4,761 posts, read 14,240,763 times
Reputation: 7956
Good for you!

I feel it is important to expose kids to ALL viewpoints. It is called REALITY! (Pro AND con viewpoints.)

People who filter out what they don't want to hear (like Facebook pages which are a fantasy make-believe world of fiction - no contrary viewpoints allowed), are doing a disservice to their kids.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 08:28 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, MO
4,009 posts, read 6,839,824 times
Reputation: 4608
It's each to their own. I would never criticize a woman for not wanting kids. If anyone had told me 5 years ago that I would be a Mama I would have thought they were crazy.

Sometimes people change their minds (like I did) about having kids and others do not. Either way is perfectly fine as long as they're happy with the choice
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,171,175 times
Reputation: 73921
I wouldn't be able to travel any more without children because my wife never had enough PTO to leave town more than 2 times a year.

Now that she stays home with them, we actually have much more flexibility to travel (and have).

But back to the op, no one has any business having any interest or judgment on why someone does not want to take on the responsibility of another life. It'd be like saying, "Hey! Why don't you have a dog?"

Well, hell...maybe they just don't want one. Duh.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 09:27 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,772,384 times
Reputation: 30712
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Now that she stays home with them, we actually have much more flexibility to travel (and have).
She could have stayed home even without kids for the same flexibility.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,171,175 times
Reputation: 73921
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
She could have stayed home even without kids for the same flexibility.
Yeah. I seriously doubt she would have interrupted her climb up the corporate ladder to spend more time at the beach for me.
For raising her own children - yes.

My point is that not even all childless couples can fly off like free birds.
I have two friends who are absolutely chained to their business. Leaving town takes an act of god and coordination of efforts that is out of this world.
My other friend has a sick, elderly mother that limits her movement.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 10:39 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,772,384 times
Reputation: 30712
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
My point is that not even all childless couples can fly off like free birds.
I have two friends who are absolutely chained to their business. Leaving town takes an act of god and coordination of efforts that is out of this world.
My other friend has a sick, elderly mother that limits her movement.
You are only focusing on flexibility. My friends wouldn't be able to afford to travel like they do if they had children. They go on elaborate trips all over the world. This isn't the main reason they chose to not have children, but it is a significant factor in their decision.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 10:49 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,304,163 times
Reputation: 43047
The only person who ever gave me pressure about having kids was my mother, but once she got her Pomeranian, the grandchild requests dropped by about 75%.

I have often told her she should develop closer relationships with the children of her nieces and nephews, but she really doesn't bother. She was like that with my cousins too - while I had very close relationships with my aunties and uncles, my cousins mostly did not have a close relationship with my mother, except for one, and I believe she failed him horribly at a time when she should have reached out to him.

So that all kind of makes me think she wouldn't be as great of a grandmother as she thinks, anyway.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-31-2014, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,131 posts, read 63,531,418 times
Reputation: 92777
Honestly, if my daughter decided not to have kids, I probably would have said all 5 things, and if she didn't like it, tough.

As with anything else, I tell them what I think, one time, and then I shut up about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top