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The figures you found online are fairly accurate averages. They including housing, which is the largest part of the expenses in those estimates. Many people don't consider that part of the cost to raise a child since they already have housing, but bigger housing does cost more than a 1 bedroom apartment. Transportation is also included in the expenses that most people don't consider extra costs. Childcare is a huge expense too. If you don't plan on working and will be a SAHM, childcare costs won't apply to you.
This calculator (below) will give you a better idea because it breaks down the individual costs, including housing, into a pie chart. That way you can see what applies to you and disregard what you think doesn't apply to you. When you get down to the basics of food, clothing, healthcare, it's not as the estimates portray, but it's important to understand that housing and transportation are real expenses that will impact your budget.
Move the little slide bar below the pie chart to see how the expenses change during different periods of the child's life.
There will be many variables. Generally speaking, the more affluent you are the more expensive raising children will be because you have greater disposable income to devote on them. You will also have higher expectations.
Kids are expensive, no doubt about it. And that's if you get a healthy kid. Get a sickly/disabled kid, and it could financially ruin you. Ask me how I know :-/
Despite this, most people manage to raise kids. You beg, "steal" or borrow if you have to, to put food on the table. If you're lucky you'll have healthy kids and a steady job the way it seems most people do :-/
There will be many variables. Generally speaking, the more affluent you are the more expensive raising children will be because you have greater disposable income to devote on them. You will also have higher expectations.
I am just looking for bare essentials that everyone must come up with / pay.
I am just looking for bare essentials that everyone must come up with / pay.
Everything after that is voluntary and varies.
Pull the bare essentials out of the pie chart in that link I provided.
For me, the first year was $800 month and that included $400/month in childcare. That was diapers, formula (you can breastfeed to keep those costs down but your personal grocery bill will increase because you need to eat healthy to produce healthy, abundant breast milk), clothing, etc.. I remember it was $800 because I wondered what I did with that $800/month prior to having a child. Keep in mind, that was 20 years ago. Childcare expenses have sored since then. I'm sure diapers and formula are more expensive now too.
Everyone warned me that children only get more expensive when they get older, and that's true. The grocery bill increases significantly as they get bigger because their bodies need more food to grow. Their clothing is more expensive. You replace entire wardrobes at least twice a year---once in the spring and once in the fall. And lets not get started on how quickly they outgrow shoes.
You have to think beyond the basics. Children need to be involved in some level of activities to have a social life. Even going to the community swimming pool or movies costs money. Handing out a few dollars for the ice cream truck or to walk to the local convenience store adds up.
You also have to take into consideration that your child might not be healthy. Mine had solid ear infections for a year and half prior to having tubes put in. There were months that she was on four different antibiotics, and that meant four different doctor's office visits. Mine also had severe allergies to milk and needed special formula that was very expensive. Other people have children with very expensive disabilities and they can't work because their child has special care needs.
I made a budget when we decided to have kids. Some things I over budgeted. Other things I didn't need to budget for, because I'd already taken certain things into account. Housing, for example. We bought a large home when it was just my wife and I with multiple bedrooms in anticipation of kids. So that was an expense that we've already paid by not having to upgrade to a larger home.
As far as essentials needed... That's going to vary widely. Food for instance. If you can just get by on breastmilk, that drastically cuts down on the grocery bill, formula isn't cheap. However, some mothers don't produce enough or the baby doesn't latch on, etc. So there's that. Diapers can vary also. Some babies poop/pee more than others. If you decide to go the cloth route, washing all those dirty diapers takes a lot of water, so there's a higher water bill.
I would definitely count daycare as an essential, because most families have two wage earners now and can't afford to just have one person stay home with the baby. My neighbors pay $2500 a month for 3 kids here in TX. Some places are more expensive, some less. That's a nice house payment.
Then there's clothes that you are constantly buying because they grow up quickly, toys, etc. Cribs, playpens... it all adds up. While maybe not an essential, the toys and stuff make your life easier by keeping the baby entertained. If you want a happy baby, you can't just budget for essentials only, so that makes the whole topic kind of moot.
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