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Why would you want your young son to have a close relationship with people who "yell and scream and curse?" I know they're family, and he should be taught to be polite etc. of course... but why would you even want your son to sleep over or spend time with people who are ill-mannered and yell all the time?
Eight children? Grandma smokes? They were in and out of foster care? Excuse me, but those people sound like scum, even before the 'yelling and cursing' are factored-in.
SAVE your kid from exposure to this family!!! Why on EARTH would your Husband want his child to be around them?
My mom was a substance-abusing prostitute (and a mean, nasty creature). I made SURE that my husband and children never met her. I did not want her to infect our life with her nastiness.
Your husband's feelings, your feelings, and your inlaws' feelings, are less important than what it will do to your child, to be around them. I would think that your husband would take the lead, in insulating your child from those people.
I agree and when we started dating I never met them only his aunt and uncle (who are extremely sweet)then he decided to repair his relationship with them. I just dont know how to say it to him.
So right now your husband just knows your son doesn't like to be with his family, but doesn't know why?
Instead of being "hurt"when he finds out, he should try to be understanding, your son is probably frightened of them, does he want his child to be with someone who frightens him? I hope not! I'm sure when you put it that way he'll be more understanding. And also, tell him this CAN be resolved, but it's up to your husband to tell the family (without your son around) that he's a little frightened and that maybe they should make more of an effort to be more calm and loving around your son (and that other boy) so they will be more comfortable. There is a difference between a loud and rambunctious and fun family vs. a wild and angry and screaming bunch. My husband's family is loud, but it's a fun and "we love each other so much" kind of loud.
Why would you want your young son to have a close relationship with people who "yell and scream and curse?" I know they're family, and he should be taught to be polite etc. of course... but why would you even want your son to sleep over or spend time with people who are ill-mannered and yell all the time?
I absolutely agree!!!!!
kids know who they like and who they dont.
I like one of my uncles more than the other, and they are brothers.....and till this day, I am very close with the one I really like (visiting, phone calls) , and just regular with the other one, (only on alternate holidays, which doesnt say much, LOL)
So right now your husband just knows your son doesn't like to be with his family, but doesn't know why?
Instead of being "hurt"when he finds out, he should try to be understanding, your son is probably frightened of them, does he want his child to be with someone who frightens him? I hope not! I'm sure when you put it that way he'll be more understanding. And also, tell him this CAN be resolved, but it's up to your husband to tell the family (without your son around) that he's a little frightened and that maybe they should make more of an effort to be more calm and loving around your son (and that other boy) so they will be more comfortable. There is a difference between a loud and rambunctious and fun family vs. a wild and angry and screaming bunch. My husband's family is loud, but it's a fun and "we love each other so much" kind of loud.
that's what I was thinking. if your home life is quiet and pleasant, and theirs is yelling screaming cursing, the child isn't used to it, and it could possibly frighten him a bit........maybe in private you could ask the boy...
I wouldn't force a child to stay with people he doesn't like. It could be your attitude, but it also could be something he senses about them on his own. IMO, kids can be a good judge of who isn't nice to be around.
I agree that your son is probably scared of them due to the yelling and such. I wouldn't force my son to be around people that scared him and certainly not stay there overnight. Your husband will just have to get over it because this should be about the way his child feels not him.
Don't force a relationship. I tell my boys, you don't have to like everyone, but you need to treat them with respect. Same with family, you don't have to like them. I certainly don't like everyone in my family. Other than the holiday gatherings, I have no need/want to see some of them.
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