Child having trouble sleeping after family member passed away (support, parents, son)

[Ms_Mitchell]

I have a 11 year old son who can not sleep at night every since his 9 year old cousin passed away , they were very close. He comes in my room every night cause he cant sleep what can i do?

[CraigCreek]

Originally Posted by Ms_Mitchell

I have a 11 year old son who can not sleep at night every since his 9 year old cousin passed away , they were very close. He comes in my room every night cause he cant sleep what can i do?

First of all, I am so sorry for your family's loss. This situation is very different from the previous discussion, and being unable to sleep well is a symptom of your son's grief - was he close to his cousin?

In many areas, Hospice offers support groups for children who've lost loved ones. This might be helpful for your son to process what has happened. There are also books about dealing with death and grief, and individual counseling might also be helpful for him. His school counselor may be able to help or to suggest other assistance for him, as may your pastor.

Make sure your son receives a lot of affection and reassurance right now, and that he understands that a child's death is both tragic and rare, and that it's okay and very normal to miss his cousin, to cry, to wish things were different, etc. Perhaps writing a story about his cousin and how he feels about things would be helpful, or maybe drawing a picture, planting flower seeds in a pot, or making some other craft to give his cousins' parents might be cathartic.

Best wishes to you and your family, especially your son.

[Ms_Mitchell]

Thanks alot for the advice and yes he was very close to his cousin and i have tried everything to confort him and still is , i just dont like seeing him like this , when my 11 year old son list his 9 year old cousin it seems like it tramatizef him he was with him every day , and he just dont sleep at all at nite.

[no kudzu]

google the stages of grief and help your son recognize them and deal with them. if he needs professional help do not hesitate to provide it for him to help him cope. A close death at that age can shake a kids' world and bring all sorts of fear forward. You may not be the best person to help him if it continues. There are many professionals who help young children deal with grief.

[txtqueen]

Originally Posted by jessiegirl_98

I would talk to his doctor, especially if this is something new. He could be under a lot of stress or have trouble getting things out of his mind. If it persists, you may want to try (with consulting a pediatrician) benedryl. I worked with a child with severe anxiety and she had to take benedryl to help her for a bit while we worked on relaxation in therapy. I would also try to get him out of bed earlier (like maybe 7am even on weekends) and force his "clock" to switch. Other things, make sure he's not having caffeine/sugar after like 8pm (or earlier), no TV/computer right before bed, and he should get into a routine. If he might be stressed, try doing some yoga with him, getting him to work out, or have him talk to you about what's going on. (may or may not be it...his schedule could just be off too!). With some kids that I work with who complain that they can't get thoughts out of their head at nice, we go over specific relaxation strategies that I can send you if you think that is it.

You can't force a clock to just switch.
I'm someone who can stay up late and sleep in late naturally. It's how I best function. I have a job with early hours and a long commute, I have to tire myself out the day before, I take something every night that makes me fall asleep.

It's not something you can just force to switch and voila it's done....it's a constant everyday battle to make sure you fall asleep at the right time.

[txtqueen]

I second the melatonin idea. It really does work.