Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm going to start by saying my daughter is a good, albeit very lazy, kid. She doesn't do drugs, does well in school (because she wants to, not because I tell her she has to get good grades), keeps her room clean and for the most part picks up after herself. She helps with chores when asked but "she forgets" unless reminded. The "forgetting" and laziness is a whole different topic though.
But...omfg she is SO IRRITATING. I can't have a casual conversation without her turning it into some kind of completely unrelated discussion, which I engage until it becomes a challenge (like she's trying to prove something). Then when I tell her we've gotten off track to get back into an easygoing conversation I get what I call the "scrunched up pissed off" face, where she has this nasty look on her face and just stares down and gets sullen.
Just two years ago she was so talkative and engaging. Now....ugh. Moms, how do you deal with your teenage daughter? Are all of them so contrarian? How do you keep yourself sane and happy when everything they say is so negative (unless it's something a friend told/showed them, then it's the best thing EVER).
Do you ask her what she wants to talk about or do you insist on talking about what you want? She's a teenager and you better get used to it. Quite frankly if your kid is doing well in school, doesn't do drugs and helps around the house you should consider yourself very lucky. Sounds like you want a friend more than a daughter.
I'm going to start by saying my daughter is a good, albeit very lazy, kid. She doesn't do drugs, does well in school (because she wants to, not because I tell her she has to get good grades), keeps her room clean and for the most part picks up after herself. She helps with chores when asked but "she forgets" unless reminded. The "forgetting" and laziness is a whole different topic though.
But...omfg she is SO IRRITATING. I can't have a casual conversation without her turning it into some kind of completely unrelated discussion, which I engage until it becomes a challenge (like she's trying to prove something). Then when I tell her we've gotten off track to get back into an easygoing conversation I get what I call the "scrunched up pissed off" face, where she has this nasty look on her face and just stares down and gets sullen.
Just two years ago she was so talkative and engaging. Now....ugh. Moms, how do you deal with your teenage daughter? Are all of them so contrarian? How do you keep yourself sane and happy when everything they say is so negative (unless it's something a friend told/showed them, then it's the best thing EVER).
I am not following you. You want a casual conversation and you want it to stay on topic? She is a teenager right? Let the conversation flow with her and let her talk. She does want to talk and have you listen to her. We have 3 teenagers in the house. All boys. They like to talk to. My thought is to let them talk and take an active part in the conversation. Who cares where it goes. If you want to switch gears and have a conversation that is "on track" then let her know you want to discuss a specific topic for now.
My daughter is like that right now too. She will do chores when I order her to do them, but otherwise she will lay in bed and read books all night and sleep all day. She's very nice to me most of the time but frustrating when I have to get her to do something.
I'm going to start by saying my daughter is a good, albeit very lazy, kid. She doesn't do drugs, does well in school (because she wants to, not because I tell her she has to get good grades), keeps her room clean and for the most part picks up after herself. She helps with chores when asked but "she forgets" unless reminded. The "forgetting" and laziness is a whole different topic though.
But...omfg she is SO IRRITATING. I can't have a casual conversation without her turning it into some kind of completely unrelated discussion, which I engage until it becomes a challenge (like she's trying to prove something). Then when I tell her we've gotten off track to get back into an easygoing conversation I get what I call the "scrunched up pissed off" face, where she has this nasty look on her face and just stares down and gets sullen.
Just two years ago she was so talkative and engaging. Now....ugh. Moms, how do you deal with your teenage daughter? Are all of them so contrarian? How do you keep yourself sane and happy when everything they say is so negative (unless it's something a friend told/showed them, then it's the best thing EVER).
Don't take it personally. I think almost all teenage girls go though this. I simply don't react to most of it (if it won't lead to life long consequences - or is completely disrespectful - it's not worth the argument).
However, I will caution against keeping all conversations 'causal' and happy. That just isn't how it is. Teenagers are working out lots of things for themselves....they are moody. Let her use you to hone those ideas and weed out the ones that really won't work. Let her have that safe place to be herself in your home.
If she's trying to talk to you about what is going on in her head...and you are shutting her down.....she's gonna stop talking to you about much of anything. When the conversation veers, politely challenge her when it happens - ask leading questions that get her to put her thoughts into words and think them through. Ask things like "Why do you think that is?" or "What lead you to start thinking about this?" or "Where do you think that will lead?" Another good phrase is "I've never thought out it that way. Why do you think it's that way?" Keep the conversation going in ways that help her articulate what she's going through and thinking.
One of the funniest examples I have is one Thursday I picked up my daughter after school and she was nothing but a major grump. Just horrid. She was arguing with me that Thursday as a day of the week was completely unneeded. I kept challenging her logic (not hard with this one but it was everything I could do to not laugh at her earnest, if impractical - logic!) and finally she admitted that Thursday would always happen even if it was called something else. Found at that for the last 3 Thursdays in a row, she had had something pretty bad happen...and she was frustrated and tired of it and a bit stressed at it building up. I would have never known that from her attitude when I picked her up.
At this point, we went for ice cream and continued to talk about the actual problem. That wouldn't have happened if I would have just forced her to be cheerful and causal and not let her argue over something completely ridiculous.
Teenagers suck!! Especially girls!! At least mine did! I did learn one thing - Don't engage. Other than that, pray!
No, teenagers do not 'suck'.....and especially not girls. Teens are challenging, you can't parent them like you would a younger child...but they certainly do not suck and can be quite delightful and fun to be around.
Most are great young adults just trying to figure out their place.....parents should be embracing that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
