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Even in Greece they have TV and popular music and computers and social media. You make it sound like Greece is an isolated place with no connection to the real world. That is not true. And in Greece kids have hormones and urges and questions just like kids all over the world.
Yes you are way behind in sex education. The thing is...by NOT speaking of natural things like hormones, sexuality, etc you unconsciously are telling her that those things are somehow bad or full of shame. That is not what you want to get across to her.
She is not necessarily being sexual with you by sitting on your lap, etc but she is curious and that is natural. She needs more education about her body, about boys' bodies, about not only where babies come from but at this stage there are things that can be done to prevent babies from coming.
My girls are just barely 12. We have had talks about periods, intercourse, birth control. erections, wet dreams, abortions, c sections, breech births, body hair, personal hygiene, single mothers, adoption (they both are adopted), divorce, living together without marriage and just about everything I can think of. Maybe not at the level most adults would talk about those things but they know what they are and that if they have any questions they can bring them to me or their father.
You better get with the program of you are going to have more problems than a kid peeking in the shower.
Also by sending her away to camp she is apt to come back with a whole lot of incorrect information and even more confusion.
Poor guy. It's all very well for us women to say "you should talk to her" but we are the ones with the first hand experience. This guy would be like trying to teach French to a turtle.
Listen, OP, I sincerely think you need to be talking to SOMEONE about this.
It sounds as though your daughter has been molested.
Sorry to say but she has an unusual sexual interest that has come from somewhere.
Does she have friends at school, and do those friends have mothers?
I would start by talking to your doctor first, then a counsellor. If you have a family planning clinic, that is a great place to start.
I also think that her teachers need to be heard. What is going on at school every day?
I would just make other adults around you know you have concerns, and ask for help.
You have no choice, actually. If you want to HELP her.
Its not about "being bothered". I dont know how things are in USA but in Greece dads dont usually have such conversations with their 11 yo daughters. I wouldnt even know how to start such conversation. She knows of course how kids are made but I dunno what else should say on the matter. We dont have such films in greek schools and generally the kids are way more innocent when it comes to sexuality. Thats why we have almost no cases of underage pregnancies
Patently false. Greece doesn't even have the lowest teenage lowest rate in Europe. You're putting us on...
Or if this is even remotely real, then clearly you need to take your head out of the sand. Surely Greece would have some family planning association around, they would be the best source to get the information for your daughter.
It sounds as though your daughter has been molested.
.
Don't you think that is a big jump? I remember wanting to sit in my father's lap at 11 and I wasn't molested.
I simply wanted affection. This is a very important time in the age of a young girl. She may be feeling threatened by a friendship he is having with a woman, or something she heard somebody say or any number of things. if the child had been molested she would be acting up in all sorts of negative behaviors which he has not mentioned at all.
Poor guy. It's all very well for us women to say "you should talk to her" but we are the ones with the first hand experience. This guy would be like trying to teach French to a turtle.
Listen, OP, I sincerely think you need to be talking to SOMEONE about this.
It sounds as though your daughter has been molested.
Sorry to say but she has an unusual sexual interest that has come from somewhere.
Does she have friends at school, and do those friends have mothers?
I would start by talking to your doctor first, then a counsellor. If you have a family planning clinic, that is a great place to start.
I also think that her teachers need to be heard. What is going on at school every day?
I would just make other adults around you know you have concerns, and ask for help.
You have no choice, actually. If you want to HELP her.
Hold on a sec ...
Reread the OP.
He has not named one thing she has done that is a real symptom of sexual abuse. In fact, everything he named (getting into bed with a parent, sitting in a parent's lap) is normal kid behavior. The shower spying seems weird and needs further clarification.
But seriously, nothing else in his post really fits with what experts list as signs of abuse. Check the various websites.
It feels more like a problem with Dad becoming uncomfortable with his daughter's emerging adolescence.
Its not about "being bothered". I dont know how things are in USA but in Greece dads dont usually have such conversations with their 11 yo daughters. I wouldnt even know how to start such conversation. She knows of course how kids are made but I dunno what else should say on the matter. We dont have such films in greek schools and generally the kids are way more innocent when it comes to sexuality. Thats why we have almost no cases of underage pregnancies
Wow. You must be the one and only Greek in a family without a bunch of strong, assertive, wise, very maternal grandmothers and aunts and sisters giving you advice.
I am the daughter of a father and I had ZERO desire to get into bed with him, or peek at him.
I used to like hanging around when he was shaving or gardening but that's it.
I stopped being allowed to sit on his lap when I got heavy which would have been around 6 or so!
I think it is inappropriate. I'm sorry, but I do. 11 year olds should not be interested in their fathers in that way and sexualised or inappropriate behaviour is the number one sign of abuse, so God knows what books y'all are reading.
I think he needs to deal with it in public with the appropriate professionals, to help her. If she's doing stuff like that with her dad, she is PRIME abuse material. The next guy will grab her hand, pull her in and shut the door.
I am the daughter of a father and I had ZERO desire to get into bed with him, or peek at him.
I used to like hanging around when he was shaving or gardening but that's it.
I stopped being allowed to sit on his lap when I got heavy which would have been around 6 or so!
I think it is inappropriate. I'm sorry, but I do. 11 year olds should not be interested in their fathers in that way and sexualised or inappropriate behaviour is the number one sign of abuse, so God knows what books y'all are reading.
I think he needs to deal with it in public with the appropriate professionals, to help her. If she's doing stuff like that with her dad, she is PRIME abuse material. The next guy will grab her hand, pull her in and shut the door.
You did it that way, so that's the way it works for everyone??
You did it that way, so that's the way it works for everyone??
Again, YOU are the one sexualizing the situation.
She's 11 and displaying sexualised interest in her own father.
That is NOT normal.
Read his tone for goodness sake. This girl is really pushing the limits as she KNOWS it makes him uncomfortable.
11 year old and precocious...practising her power, or trying to.
Maybe she feels she doesn't get enough love from him, I don't know.
What I DO know is, it's enough for the guy to post on here for the first time in his life.
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