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If it at least makes the other parent stop and think for a minute, it helps.
It has been my experience with human nature over the years that people that recklessly irresponsible don't stop and think. In fact, they never think.
This takes us back around in a big circle to my whole point about what other things you ask about.
If you have 20% of the parents (I'm being generous based upon the incident list I read) that wind up with accidental firearm deaths to their kids that would listen to others and make changes...that's about 20ish events a year.
At what point texting and driving is literally hundreds of times more of a threat so if you ask about guns but don't rigorously quiz another parent about that....then there is a disconnect. Ditto for the host of other things someone could ask about.
Here is a doozy for an example. Remember that little girl abducted by the neighbors relative who was a pedo and came to visit and saw the girl next door. (Happened in FL, that's the general gist) That type of stuff has got to be as big or bigger of a threat than accidental firearms. Do you ask other parents if they have any sex offenders in the family that occasionally visit?
Out of curiosity, have you asked parents these types of questions? And how did you gracefully bring it up in a conversation? What was their reaction IF you actually have asked these types of questions?
I've had my fair share of kids over to the house and have NEVER been asked about guns, pills, driving drunk, etc. Frankly my worry when I drop my kids off anywhere is whether the parent is a good driver. Are they an idiot that texts and drives or chatters away endlessly on a cell phone while driving? Or are they an aggressive driver? What kind of pills someone has in their medicine cabinet is the furthest from my mind.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mathguy
It has been my experience with human nature over the years that people that recklessly irresponsible don't stop and think. In fact, they never think.
This takes us back around in a big circle to my whole point about what other things you ask about.
If you have 20% of the parents (I'm being generous based upon the incident list I read) that wind up with accidental firearm deaths to their kids that would listen to others and make changes...that's about 20ish events a year.
At what point texting and driving is literally hundreds of times more of a threat so if you ask about guns but don't rigorously quiz another parent about that....then there is a disconnect. Ditto for the host of other things someone could ask about.
Here is a doozy for an example. Remember that little girl abducted by the neighbors relative who was a pedo and came to visit and saw the girl next door. (Happened in FL, that's the general gist) That type of stuff has got to be as big or bigger of a threat than accidental firearms. Do you ask other parents if they have any sex offenders in the family that occasionally visit?
To answer both of you at once, no. I never asked about texting, and I never asked about prescription drugs. As I already said, my three are all in their 20's, and neither of those things were on my radar when they were younger.
I will say, however, that I was pretty diligent about knowing the parents of my sons' friends. And there were a couple that I just didn't feel comfortable hosting one of my own.
It's entirely possible that they lied to me about being gun owners. I don't think they did, but they could have. I think it offered some measure of awareness by even asking. If you own a gun, what have you done to secure it?
We had a few "attractive nuisances" of our own, in that we've had pools and motorized go-carts. I never allowed visiting kids to use them until I spoke to the parents. I expected the same of other parents.
To answer both of you at once, no. I never asked about texting, and I never asked about prescription drugs. As I already said, my three are all in their 20's, and neither of those things were on my radar when they were younger.
I will say, however, that I was pretty diligent about knowing the parents of my sons' friends. And there were a couple that I just didn't feel comfortable hosting one of my own.
It's entirely possible that they lied to me about being gun owners. I don't think they did, but they could have. I think it offered some measure of awareness by even asking. If you own a gun, what have you done to secure it?
We had a few "attractive nuisances" of our own, in that we've had pools and motorized go-carts. I never allowed visiting kids to use them until I spoke to the parents. I expected the same of other parents.
Fair enough.
We too are pretty diligent about knowing the parents. Although we didn't ask probing gun and pill questions, we weren't comfortable with a teammate of my daughters. Sadly, we ended up discouraging this friendship. The whole family was a bit "off" and the daughter (and father) had some big anger issues. I could easily see the dad being involved in a big road rage incident and that made me really uncomfortable having my daughter hang out over at their house, especially if driving was involved.
Proper respect for the uses of firearms, as well as their destructive power could prevent a lot of tragic accidents.
I'll just admit it. Your kids must be way more respectful, intelligent, and self-controlled than mine. Mine are, well, idiots. They're five and seven and they make bad decisions all the freaking time. They don't even cover their mouths when they sneeze while eating.
Do you know how many times I have told them to shut the door when entering and leaving the house? And they still don't do it.
I know, I'm a parenting failure. My children are five and seven and they act like, well, five and seven year olds.
I just ask you to keep it in mind when leaving your unsecured guns around the house.
My children can't even remember to flush the toilet half the time. Sometimes they pull one another's hair. Sometimes they even hit, and that gets them in big, big trouble.
But they're GOING to make mistakes. They're going to mess up. That's what kids do.
All I'm trying to do is catch them and keep them from messing up with motor vehicles, firearms, and illegal drugs, and when they mess up with the little things, to let them know the real consequences and remind them using sensible but meaningful and serious imposed consequences.
They are still going to mess up.
I'm not saying that it's any excuse not to educate them or mind them. Not at all.
I'm just saying, if you think that leaving a lethal weapon lying around when you have kids at home is somehow going to be okay because your kids are "educated" and "informed", you have some pretty amazing kids there.
I can't even leave Comet on the counter and yes, they know what it is.
Last edited by MmeZeeZee; 06-23-2014 at 05:58 PM..
I'll just admit it. Your kids must be way more respectful, intelligent, and self-controlled than mine. Mine are, well, idiots. They're five and seven and they make bad decisions all the freaking time. They don't even cover their mouths when they sneeze while eating.
Do you know how many times I have told them to shut the door when entering and leaving the house? And they still don't do it.
I know, I'm a parenting failure. My children are five and seven and they act like, well, five and seven year olds.
I just ask you to keep it in mind when leaving your unsecured guns around the house.
My children can't even remember to flush the toilet half the time. Sometimes they pull one another's hair. Sometimes they even hit, and that gets them in big, big trouble.
But they're GOING to make mistakes. They're going to mess up. That's what kids do.
All I'm trying to do is catch them and keep them from messing up with motor vehicles, firearms, and illegal drugs, and when they mess up with the little things, to let them know the real consequences and remind them using sensible but meaningful and serious imposed consequences.
They are still going to mess up.
I'm not saying that it's any excuse not to educate them or mind them. Not at all.
I'm just saying, if you think that leaving a lethal weapon lying around when you have kids at home is somehow going to be okay because your kids are "educated" and "informed", you have some pretty amazing kids there.
I can't even leave Comet on the counter and yes, they know what it is.
I would interpret that as a yes, and probably wouldn't feel comfortable sending my kid to your house, since you weren't even able to talk openly about it. If it has to be a secret, I have to wonder why.
People keep it a secret because others are nosy, gun owners have been vilified over and over again (even when there's a great majority out there who haven't had any accidents or incidents), and because if the wrong person opens their mouth, that gun safe is going to go rolling out of the house in a pickup truck while the owners aren't home.
Gun safes are good for keeping the average, casual, or curious out. They are by no means foolproof.
I'll just admit it. Your kids must be way more respectful, intelligent, and self-controlled than mine. Mine are, well, idiots. They're five and seven and they make bad decisions all the freaking time. They don't even cover their mouths when they sneeze while eating.
Do you know how many times I have told them to shut the door when entering and leaving the house? And they still don't do it.
I know, I'm a parenting failure. My children are five and seven and they act like, well, five and seven year olds.
I just ask you to keep it in mind when leaving your unsecured guns around the house.
My children can't even remember to flush the toilet half the time. Sometimes they pull one another's hair. Sometimes they even hit, and that gets them in big, big trouble.
But they're GOING to make mistakes. They're going to mess up. That's what kids do.
All I'm trying to do is catch them and keep them from messing up with motor vehicles, firearms, and illegal drugs, and when they mess up with the little things, to let them know the real consequences and remind them using sensible but meaningful and serious imposed consequences.
They are still going to mess up.
I'm not saying that it's any excuse not to educate them or mind them. Not at all.
I'm just saying, if you think that leaving a lethal weapon lying around when you have kids at home is somehow going to be okay because your kids are "educated" and "informed", you have some pretty amazing kids there.
I can't even leave Comet on the counter and yes, they know what it is.
I don't have kids but I helped raise my little sisters (they are 12 and 13 years younger than I am). My mom has always been uncomfortable with firearms of any sort, and when I was a kid I was allowed to have squirt guns but I was never allowed to play video games or participate in other activities that really had any sort of violence implied or involved (I played soccer and played with LEGOs, got busted big time for making 'brick guns.)
What made the difference was that I was always taught to respect others' things, to not play with cleaning products, and to stay out of my mom's room. When I lived with my dad, the rules were the same. I got reamed pretty good once for mixing WD-40 with something else to make a "super cleaner".
My dad had a lock put on his door when I lived with him because even though we didn't have a safe, he did have a handgun (which he did evidently have to use once when the creepy ass neighbor started making passes at me and tried luring me into his car alone, an incident which I don't remember as it happened when I was about ten or eleven).
This respect has been passed on and will be passed on to my sisters, as I'm their big brother and they need to be reminded of these things as they're about to enter teenager-hood (which I am dreading as an important male figure in their lives.) This will include proper gun safety and advice about scenarios which I've lived through. Interestingly enough, when I turned 19, I bought my first handgun and it promptly became part of a hobby of mine. My mom is currently suggesting that my little sisters come and spend time with me at my ranch ( so they can learn from me. Apparently she's becoming more comfortable with firearms as she ages since she has apparently realized that teaching me to be fearful did nothing but make me more curious about things that launch projectiles (I played paintball for quite some time too).
Of course, if (hopefully WHEN) I have my own kids I will teach them how to safely handle firearms at an earlier age than I learned, but more importantly, I will teach them to leave if a friend of theirs is doing something uncomfortable or dangerous- I might get pissed at them but grounded or spanked is way way better than hurt and in the hospital.
Edit: I will add that I did make mistakes as a kid, and so have my sisters. I never did my best in school, I would do crazy stuff like ramp my bike going ~35-40mph (got a start from up the hill) and biffed it quite often... fell out of trees I had climbed at the park, snuck into a neighbor's yard when they weren't home to use their super trampoline....)
My little sisters have thankfully avoided my occasionally reckless sense of adventure and fun thus far.
Last edited by JordanJP; 06-23-2014 at 09:23 PM..
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