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Old 06-29-2014, 10:58 AM
 
3 posts, read 12,529 times
Reputation: 40

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Two years ago, when my son wants to bring his girlfriend over for Christmas, I made it clear before my son come with his girlfriend that they would be sleeping in separate room. So they end up staying at his girlfriend's parents house where they can share the room.
This would be fine, but they live about a hour and half away. So that Christmas, my son and his girlfriend came only twice in the whole week they were here. Once to visit us for a few hours then again for Christmas dinner when there were numerous people here. That's it.
Last Christmas he was able to get only four days off. So we only saw him for a few hours at Christmas dinner.
I was a bit disappointed by this.

Now I found out that they would be here for July 4th weekend. I asked if they can come over, he said they can come over for a bit at some point.
I was rather discouraged as I heard this since I can pretty much tell that it will end up being only a few hours visit.
So I let him know I'd like him to spend the Christmas this year here. His reply was "And I would like to share bed with my girlfriend" which I quickly told him no! He then said that's the answer I'd get from him!

I'm so upset by this. I feel like he's being downright disrespectful! I don't know what to do! I really want to see him, but I really don't like the idea of him and his girlfriend sharing the bedroom and my husband certainly would never allows it!
How can I get him to understand that this isn't fair?
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:02 AM
 
Location: MMU->ABE->ATL->ASH
9,230 posts, read 18,547,457 times
Reputation: 10201
How old is he?
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:03 AM
 
15,096 posts, read 7,771,614 times
Reputation: 14075
Does he live with his girlfriend? They have been dating for at least two years and have probably shared a bed numerous times even if they live separately.

Which is more important to you, not allowing him to share a bedroom with his girlfriend in your home (even though you know he will be an hour away sharing a bedroom with her at her parents home) or seeing him and having him stay with you for Christmas?

Last edited by MissTerri; 06-29-2014 at 11:38 AM..
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:10 AM
 
35,104 posts, read 44,297,327 times
Reputation: 62297
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomm8 View Post
Two years ago, when my son wants to bring his girlfriend over for Christmas, I made it clear before my son come with his girlfriend that they would be sleeping in separate room. So they end up staying at his girlfriend's parents house where they can share the room.
This would be fine, but they live about a hour and half away. So that Christmas, my son and his girlfriend came only twice in the whole week they were here. Once to visit us for a few hours then again for Christmas dinner when there were numerous people here. That's it.
Last Christmas he was able to get only four days off. So we only saw him for a few hours at Christmas dinner.
I was a bit disappointed by this.

Now I found out that they would be here for July 4th weekend. I asked if they can come over, he said they can come over for a bit at some point.
I was rather discouraged as I heard this since I can pretty much tell that it will end up being only a few hours visit.
So I let him know I'd like him to spend the Christmas this year here. His reply was "And I would like to share bed with my girlfriend" which I quickly told him no! He then said that's the answer I'd get from him!

I'm so upset by this. I feel like he's being downright disrespectful! I don't know what to do! I really want to see him, but I really don't like the idea of him and his girlfriend sharing the bedroom and my husband certainly would never allows it!
How can I get him to understand that this isn't fair?

Fair to who? Your antiquated ideas are not fair to him or his choice to be the adult he is and choose to share the bed with his girlfriend like he does everyday is not fair to you?
Your house, your rules, your residuals to deal with.
It sounds like your son is an adult and lives with his girlfriend anyway so you are doing nothing but alienating your son even more.

Last edited by Jaded; 06-29-2014 at 09:38 PM..
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,400 posts, read 6,178,855 times
Reputation: 10352
Clearly he's an adult as he is living away from home so why wouldn't you let him share a room with his girlfriend? Even my very religious parents let my brothers share rooms with their girlfriends once they were adults. Frankly you're not respecting your son's adult relationship by saying he can only stay there if they sleep in separate rooms.
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:14 AM
 
13,750 posts, read 22,613,844 times
Reputation: 38412
You are entitled to your moral convictions, but your son is entitled to reject them. Assuming they are both adults, and it sounds as though they are, this is not a battle I would fight.

My son's girlfriend is coming to visit this week. She will share his room, as she has done before, by her choice . I'm just glad I don't have to get the guest room ready.
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:14 AM
 
3 posts, read 12,529 times
Reputation: 40
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.

If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:15 AM
 
13,750 posts, read 22,613,844 times
Reputation: 38412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomm8 View Post
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.

If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
Because they don't want to.
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:16 AM
 
Location: Finland
6,400 posts, read 6,178,855 times
Reputation: 10352
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomm8 View Post
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.

If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
Would you want to sleep in a separate room from your husband while visiting somewhere? If you wouldn't then why should you expect your son to sleep separate from his partner.
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Old 06-29-2014, 11:17 AM
 
35,104 posts, read 44,297,327 times
Reputation: 62297
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomm8 View Post
My son is 26 years old. We don't want him to share room because it is a bad example to other kids here and it is against our morals.

If he live with his girlfriend, then why can't they just spend a few nights sleeping in separate bed?
Because they are adults and they choose not to.
Do you think the example is any better when the other kids already know that your son and his girlfriend live together?
There is no difference where they sleep in the same bed the other kids already know it happens.

Would you expect your son and his girlfriend to sleep separately if you and the other kids went to visit them in thier home?
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