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That wasn't what you said in the post i responded to, but ok. So it sounds to me that you advocate equal responsibility? But do you advocate equal privilege? You see people forget that being a parent is a reward in itself. To watch a child take its first step or say its first words and have the joys of watching a child grow on a day by day basis or raising a child on a daily basis is the privilege of being a custodial parent that most 2-4hr week or average visition schedule non custodial parent misses. In my opinion.
Omg a child does not care if parents are rewarded! it cares if it's needs are met. That is its right first and foremost and a separate and distinct entity from a parents rights for visitation.
Now stop making up stats, it gives you ZERO credibility.
Typical visitation, is for 20-50% of parenting aka non school time. That includes every other weekend (50% of weekends) and one weeknight during the school week (when it is more disruptive to the child btw as supported by multiple studies) and six of the ten weeks in the summer.
Quote:
Your quote: That is $1100 a month, which means the custodial parents pays nearly 2/3 of the support of a child compared to the 1/3 the average non-custodial parent pays. end quote:
Have you seen the national visitation guidelines for non custodial parents visitations? Last i check their was 168hrs in a week. Can you honestly say we are even close to 20% in time or privileges of parenting. Thats why i say if you want a guy to be responsible don't be greedy and power hungry. You tired of deadbeats quit making them.
Yes have you? And yes the typical arrangement is more than 20% of parenting time.
When you use the word "you" in these posts you are being accusatory. Just FYI I have never collected child support. So maybe you should stop using inflammatory language and start using facts. Because your continual making up of statistics, is making the entire movement of equality in fathers rights (something I support btw) look bad.
I didn't state any facts in my last post, what i did do was express an opinion. Your response is crazy. FACT: there used to be a uniform national model for child visitation based on age, but assuming the changes in language and proceedures in recent times in some states, the model for visitation would no longer be uniform? But lets not forget which state your in will have an effect, like my state is one of a few left that a judge can't order shared parenting or joint custody(even if its in the childs best interests) unless both parents agree. Then you have to take the age of a child in account. The old visitation models were based on child development and etc. The standard visitation for children age 0-16mths is 2-4hrs a week (that was the norm) i see its also that is still a standard used by alot of mediators. Time Sharing Guidelines
Uhmm maybe its you who needs to learn the difference between opinion and fact.
I didn't state any facts in my last post, what i did do was express an opinion. Your response is crazy. FACT: there used to be a uniform national model for child visitation based on age, but assuming the changes in language and proceedures in recent times in some states, the model for visitation would no longer be uniform? But lets not forget which state your in will have an effect, like my state is one of a few left that a judge can't order shared parenting or joint custody(even if its in the childs best interests) unless both parents agree. Then you have to take the age of a child in account. The old visitation models were based on child development and etc. The standard visitation for children age 0-16mths is 2-4hrs a week (that was the norm) i see its also that is still a standard used by alot of mediators. Time Sharing Guidelines
Uhmm maybe its you who needs to learn the difference between opinion and fact.
Im sorry all you did was provide a list of guidelines that were commonly used n 1991. Let me say that again NINETEEN NINETY ONE. That was 23 years ago.
I provided link after link after link of typical (you do know that word means average right?) visitation agreements. You provide a link, that gave a list of guidelines written over 20 years ago and have not shown a single source that recommends that set of guidelines still OR supports you continued claims of 2 to 8 hours a month.
Here is an example of a states visitation guidelines, note the similarity to what I posted. Also note, the only times they refer to Hodges 23 year old guidelines, is to suggest that young infants, 0-6 months, benefit from daily visitation (the horror!) rather than overnight (unless both parents were equal primary caregivers), and to suggest that for toddler (1.5-3yos) should not be traveling long distances for long periods of time for visitation (again, no duh).
See there you go again lady misquotting me and responding in an emotional matter. I never said 2 to 8 hours a month i said a week!And i never said anything about current guidelines either.
I don't even believe you are aware of how sexist your statements are. With your logic about traveling long distance and overnight visitations etc. Its a wonder how you divorced ladies hookup with new hubbies and step parents so fast after divorce. I mean raise your hand if you know any divorced or unmarried lady with an infant who has traveled long distances with an newborn for any reason? Or startted dating soon after divorce or separation or birth? Or has overnight visits with new boyfriends or just leaving jr with grandma while going on dates overnights etc?
I say the above because of your response to what the specialist said. Its garbage. Emotional stress, mental axiety etc in an infant is just that. Its no different if your the primary care provider or not!
Whatever is best for the child is the rule. So in most cases the love of as many family members as possible is the best case scenario. This means mom and dad.
See there you go again lady misquotting me and responding in an emotional matter. I never said 2 to 8 hours a month i said a week!And i never said anything about current guidelines either.
I don't even believe you are aware of how sexist your statements are. With your logic about traveling long distance and overnight visitations etc. Its a wonder how you divorced ladies hookup with new hubbies and step parents so fast after divorce. I mean raise your hand if you know any divorced or unmarried lady with an infant who has traveled long distances with an newborn for any reason? Or startted dating soon after divorce or separation or birth? Or has overnight visits with new boyfriends or just leaving jr with grandma while going on dates overnights etc?
I say the above because of your response to what the specialist said. Its garbage. Emotional stress, mental axiety etc in an infant is just that. Its no different if your the primary care provider or not!
Not to speak for her, but I'm not sure why you think she's divorced.
See there you go again lady misquotting me and responding in an emotional matter. I never said 2 to 8 hours a month i said a week!And i never said anything about current guidelines either.
I don't even believe you are aware of how sexist your statements are. With your logic about traveling long distance and overnight visitations etc. Its a wonder how you divorced ladies hookup with new hubbies and step parents so fast after divorce. I mean raise your hand if you know any divorced or unmarried lady with an infant who has traveled long distances with an newborn for any reason? Or startted dating soon after divorce or separation or birth? Or has overnight visits with new boyfriends or just leaving jr with grandma while going on dates overnights etc?
I say the above because of your response to what the specialist said. Its garbage. Emotional stress, mental axiety etc in an infant is just that. Its no different if your the primary care provider or not!
I am married, for 20+ years, almost as long as when your "source" was relevant. I am not divorced. I do not collect child support. See what you are doing is called an ad hominem fallacy. Since you cannot prove your point, or disprove mine, you have to try to attack me and make it sound like I "need a man". It is a logical fallacy, not your first btw.
You didn't look at the link did you? Don't fib. It wasn't about the TRAVEL, it was about the child being so far from the primary caregiver. You should maybe read some child development books. Children need to spend most of their time with their primary caregiver due to attachment issues. Damaging attachment, can have disastrous consequences for children. If the child is 100s of miles away with the secondary caregiver, they would not be spending the SIGNIFICANT time they need DAILY to spend with their primary caregiver. OTOH, the same link (that you didn't read) also said noncustodial parents should have frequent, preferably daily visitation, on the 2-3 hour scale. Still NOT 2-4 hours a week.
When your done being a "lawyer" (lol!) maybe you can read up about child psych and become a "doctor".
Or one can quit being shelfish and make both parents the primary care parents. Just because people choose to not be together doesn't mean one parent should lose the right to be the parent they want to be? Or maybe we should get rid of no fault marriages and bring back fault in determining everything.
Yes i know what your saying in the old days the legal term for what your saying is the tender age doctorine. Know why its not in the letter of the law anymore?
Hmm the only one i know doing personal attacks is you. My post examples wasn't about you or your situation (NO ABOUT YOU) lol but general statements, but honestly do you know anybody who drops jr at grandma and plays but calls themselves the primary care giver?
Gee saying and doing are two different things.
107.101 Policy regarding parenting. It is the policy of this state to:
***** (1) Assure minor children of frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interests of the child;
***** (2) Encourage such parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of raising their children after the parents have separated or dissolved their marriage;
the court shall give primary consideration to the best interests and welfare of the child. In determining the best interests and welfare of the child, the court shall consider the following relevant factors:
The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the child. However, the court may not consider such willingness and ability if one parent shows that the other parent has sexually assaulted or engaged in a pattern of behavior of abuse against the parent or a child and that a continuing relationship with the other parent will endanger the health or safety of either parent or the child
No preference in custody shall be given to the mother over the father for the sole reason that she is the mother.
(A) Birth to 18 months: Two times per week for two hours per visit.
(B) 18 to 30 months: Once per week for six hours.
the above is your standard visitation schedule for my state.
Now we can either be nice or i can put you on ignore if you like? Ive never talked to you before so i have no ideal how you think you know me?
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