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1. If the mother gets married and she changes her name, who name do they have then?
2. Did he say that a mother didn't? A father's story is unique. You do not inherit everything from your mother. For example, think about those kids who have a lot of their father's physical features, are you only going to focus on a mother's inheritance. There is a unique inheritance that only a father can give, but that doesn't mean a mother can't do the same, but she can't give the inheritance that a father can.
3. If you observe young kids and even young adults, they often look for acceptance or encouragement from their father. When they don't get it, that is when it's most evident. There are many young people who struggle with self-worth when their father is not involved in their lives. There is a degree of doubt because you wonder why your father may not be there for you. It's something that a mother simply cannot give. She can encourage you, but for example, a woman cannot give a daughter the confidence that a man would give her that she is beautiful. The girls who do not get that validation from a man at home, will go out and seek it from someone (usually in a unhealthy manner).
You made the point. When a father dies it is a difficult feeling. It's a feeling that cannot be replaced. You seem almost shocked that someone could feel incomplete that they do not have their father in their life. If that's hard to believe to you, then what purpose do you think a father serves? You make it seem like children should be okay after losing their father. That just doesn't make sense.
What should a child do after losing their father? Lay down and die? Of course, they have to be 'ok' after losing their father - at least at some point because life WILL go on after a loss be it a mother or a father.
Yes, we all want the perfectly formed, two parent family in a high socioeconomic status, for our children. It just doesn't work out that way all the time.
When life hands you lemons - you make lemonade or die.
You made the point. When a father dies it is a difficult feeling. It's a feeling that cannot be replaced. You seem almost shocked that someone could feel incomplete that they do not have their father in their life. If that's hard to believe to you, then what purpose do you think a father serves? You make it seem like children should be okay after losing their father. That just doesn't make sense.
As someone who raised three children after their father died, I can tell you first hand that they will be ok and having terry crews tell them that will never be complete without their father is not something that is either true or necessary for hem to hear. Sure they grieve, for a long time in a multitude of ways, but fathers are just parents, not some magical form of parent, and children need kind, loving adults in their lives and if they have it, they will be ok.
1. If the mother gets married and she changes her name, who name do they have then?
2. Did he say that a mother didn't? A father's story is unique. You do not inherit everything from your mother. For example, think about those kids who have a lot of their father's physical features, are you only going to focus on a mother's inheritance. There is a unique inheritance that only a father can give, but that doesn't mean a mother can't do the same, but she can't give the inheritance that a father can.
3. If you observe young kids and even young adults, they often look for acceptance or encouragement from their father. When they don't get it, that is when it's most evident. There are many young people who struggle with self-worth when their father is not involved in their lives. There is a degree of doubt because you wonder why your father may not be there for you. It's something that a mother simply cannot give. She can encourage you, but for example, a woman cannot give a daughter the confidence that a man would give her that she is beautiful. The girls who do not get that validation from a man at home, will go out and seek it from someone (usually in a unhealthy manner).
Now for the other half of this nonsense.
1. More and more mothers are not changing their name. In fact in many cultures the last name is the mothers. Are fathers less valuable to those children? No, so this point is irrelevant on top of being meaningless.
2. Than it isn't something ONLY a father can give. Nobody said parents aren't important but when you say there are thing ONLY one can give you, that gives that parent more importance. Nothing he said here is something ONLY a father can give.
3. That is your subjective opinion and not remotely close to a fact let alone being universally true. I have been teaching for 10 years, I have seen equal amounts of teens looking for acceptance and encouragement from both mothers and fathers.
As for a father not being in their lives, go look at children who do not have their mothers in their lives, they have the exact same issues. It isn't the absence of the FATHER per se but rather that absence of one of the PARENTS. Therefore, yet again, not something ONLY a father can provide.
Now lets deal with this nasty little piece of misogyny: "She can encourage you, but for example, a woman cannot give a daughter the confidence that a man would give her that she is beautiful". Seriously, disgusting. Reality check for you sir, as a woman, I do not need ANYONE to tell me I am beautiful and here is another for you, my confidence is not rooted in the fact that I am "pretty". I am so eminently grateful that I had PARENTS (including my father) who taught me that I am strong, powerful and intelligent and did not remotely tell me that my confidence should come from beauty. The fact that you think girls who behave in ways that are not true to themselves and their own values are looking for someone to tell them they are pretty shows how far out of the loop you are.
Girls are NATURALLY confident, right until their preteen years when it is stripped from them, and that is something that has nothing to do with parents one way or the other and is a far more pressing problem facing our kids than the need to pat fathers on the head and tell THEM that they are special.
lol I can sense the frustration in your post. You'd be hard pressed trying to get a woman to focus on a single point in a logical discussion.
Do you need some band-aids for your knuckles?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DC Bossman
Crews made a simple point with a lot of truth. Yet majority of women instead take it as an attack on their motherhood.
No they don't. Pointing out that mothers and single parents do those things too is not a reaction or attack.
What points did he raise that had validity? The things he mentioned that fathers bring to parenting mothers bring too.
The more caring family raising children the better, and happy parents in a healthy relationship even more so, but that's not to say all mom/dad parental couples do a good job, or that single parents don't.
lol I can sense the frustration in your post. You'd be hard pressed trying to get a woman to focus on a single point in a logical discussion. Crews made a simple point with a lot of truth. Yet majority of women instead take it as an attack on their motherhood.
You know that making generalizations about entire groups of people is not only an ad hom but a logical fallacy making your second sentence a study in both hypocrisy and a contradiction in terms. Nice job, hard to do.
Regardless, stating ones opinion "there are thing only a father can give" as fact, isn't an attack on motherhood it is an attack on PARENTHOOD.
As someone who raised three children after their father died, I can tell you first hand that they will be ok and having terry crews tell them that will never be complete without their father is not something that is either true or necessary for hem to hear. Sure they grieve, for a long time in a multitude of ways, but fathers are just parents, not some magical form of parent, and children need kind, loving adults in their lives and if they have it, they will be ok.
Depends on the age of your children and how much their father had on them. Every child is different, but if children are still at a stage of being confident in themselves and they lose their father, then it can be difficult. I'm not going to pretend to know your situation but I do believe that his point is valid in certain situations.
Depends on the age of your children and how much their father had on them. Every child is different, but if children are still at a stage of being confident in themselves and they lose their father, then it can be difficult. I'm not going to pretend to know your situation but I do believe that his point is valid in certain situations.
Ok so now we are moving the goal posts to "certain situations"? Ugh, whatever.
1. More and more mothers are not changing their name. In fact in many cultures the last name is the mothers. Are fathers less valuable to those children? No, so this point is irrelevant on top of being meaningless.
You come off very, very bitter. You act like Terry Crews slapped you in the face. It's not that serious.
Are we talking about other cultures or America? How relevant is other cultures to this topic? This topic would certainly be different if we were talking about other cultures. In this culture though, children GENERALLY take their father's name. Does that mean it will always happen? Of course not. No one said it does.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
2. Than it isn't something ONLY a father can give. Nobody said parents aren't important but when you say there are thing ONLY one can give you, that gives that parent more importance. Nothing he said here is something ONLY a father can give.
You didn't read what I said. If you have your father's nose, no one is going to say, well your mother gave it to you. It's a distinct thing that your father gave you, that your mother did not. Your mother can give you certain features as well, but she doesn't always give you the same features. For example, I get my height from my mother. That is something that is unique that clearly my mother gave me, but I have my father's facial structure. That is unique. If someone ask me, whether I have a relationship with my father or not, I'm not going to just say oh I got everything from my mother. No there are certain things that I got from my father. That is the same for anyone. You can't hide that regardless if your father is there for you or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
3. That is your subjective opinion and not remotely close to a fact let alone being universally true. I have been teaching for 10 years, I have seen equal amounts of teens looking for acceptance and encouragement from both mothers and fathers.
NOBODY SAID THEY DON'T LOOK FOR ACCEPTANCE FROM THEIR MOTHERS TOO!!!! It's important to have both.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
As for a father not being in their lives, go look at children who do not have their mothers in their lives, they have the exact same issues. It isn't the absence of the FATHER per se but rather that absence of one of the PARENTS. Therefore, yet again, not something ONLY a father can provide.
NOBODY SAID IT WASN'T!!!! We are talking about why fatherhood is important not why motherhood is not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
Now lets deal with this nasty little piece of misogyny: "She can encourage you, but for example, a woman cannot give a daughter the confidence that a man would give her that she is beautiful". Seriously, disgusting. Reality check for you sir, as a woman, I do not need ANYONE to tell me I am beautiful and here is another for you, my confidence is not rooted in the fact that I am "pretty". I am so eminently grateful that I had PARENTS (including my father) who taught me that I am strong, powerful and intelligent and did not remotely tell me that my confidence should come from beauty. The fact that you think girls who behave in ways that are not true to themselves and their own values are looking for someone to tell them they are pretty shows how far out of the loop you are.
mother's view of beautiful =/= father's view of beautiful
How is that misogynist? It's not saying that a mother view isn't important but it's saying that the two are different. Women want men to see them as beautiful. I am sorry that is a fact. If a father does not validate beauty, then she will find someone that will. Did you not ever care if your father thought you were beautiful? What about your significant others?
Ma'am you need to get a man. Seriously. You have too much time on your hands
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714
Girls are NATURALLY confident, right until their preteen years when it is stripped from them, and that is something that has nothing to do with parents one way or the other and is a far more pressing problem facing our kids than the need to pat fathers on the head and tell THEM that they are special.
It depends on how they are raised. Some girls can overcome the difficulty of peer pressure and the world's view of beauty because of the sense of self-worth they receive from their parents. If they don't have both parents then maybe there are other people in their lives that give them that worth, but every situation is different.
lol I can sense the frustration in your post. You'd be hard pressed trying to get a woman to focus on a single point in a logical discussion. Crews made a simple point with a lot of truth. Yet majority of women instead take it as an attack on their motherhood.
Oh I understand. I never wanted this topic in this section but they moved it. Some of the women on this website are just straight up nuts. There is no way I should have to explain my question over and over again, just to get a rational response. I'm glad my wife is not like this. There is no way I could be around people who get this emotional over a simple conversation.
Oh I understand. I never wanted this topic in this section but they moved it. Some of the women on this website are just straight up nuts. There is no way I should have to explain my question over and over again, just to get a rational response. I'm glad my wife is not like this. There is no way I could be around people who get this emotional over a simple conversation.
Yep. Can't have the little missus questioning you and asking for a basis of your train of thought. So much easier if you can just declare stuff to be so than have to present, you know, facts.
Last edited by Jaded; 07-05-2014 at 11:28 AM..
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Do you need some band-aids for your knuckles?
