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Old 07-08-2014, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Oceania
8,610 posts, read 7,870,436 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
When I have observed 4K and 5K (and older children) doing this on the playground the first child will usually verbalize "Let's pretend that we are kitty cats" or " I want to pretend that there is a volcano with hot lava". I never really thought about it until now, but even the four year olds will make it clear to the others that they know it is only make-believe. (I used to team teach 4K and 5K & had recess duty every day with them).

Perhaps just suggesting that he use those words "Let's pretend that there are elves in the tree" may make a difference.

What does 4K and 5K designate? Surely not head count.
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Old 07-08-2014, 09:27 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,836,530 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by armory View Post
What does 4K and 5K designate? Surely not head count.
Prekindergarten is 4K (for 4 year olds)
Kindergarten is 5K (for 5 year olds)
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:01 AM
 
123 posts, read 520,191 times
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Do you have him involved in other outlets? Such as groups or activities he can be a part of with interests he would like and possibly other kids like him? What about theatre? Maybe getting him into drama/acting might be nice. I'm sure there are local kids theatres around that you could call to see if he is old enough to participate. We have some where we are, as well as some camps that have it. My son isn't old enough for them yet but because he is such a dramatic, funny ham who likes to role play all the time, I have thought about getting him into it someday if he showed an interest. That might be something to look into.

Also, like some others have mentioned, I too am wondering if he is actually seeing the things he says, or thinking he does anyway. That could make a difference. I'm sure it's hard to tell though. Does he say to you when he's not playing around 'There are elves in that tree', or other things like that, in a serious manner? Or is it only if you guys are playing and pretending things?
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Old 07-09-2014, 05:35 AM
 
Location: MA
675 posts, read 1,694,632 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by displacedmisplaced View Post
Do you have him involved in other outlets? Such as groups or activities he can be a part of with interests he would like and possibly other kids like him? What about theatre? Maybe getting him into drama/acting might be nice. I'm sure there are local kids theatres around that you could call to see if he is old enough to participate. We have some where we are, as well as some camps that have it. My son isn't old enough for them yet but because he is such a dramatic, funny ham who likes to role play all the time, I have thought about getting him into it someday if he showed an interest. That might be something to look into.

Also, like some others have mentioned, I too am wondering if he is actually seeing the things he says, or thinking he does anyway. That could make a difference. I'm sure it's hard to tell though. Does he say to you when he's not playing around 'There are elves in that tree', or other things like that, in a serious manner? Or is it only if you guys are playing and pretending things?
He does say it in a serious manner when we're not playing but I don't think he's actually seeing the elves or monsters or whatever. Usually it's influenced by something he's read or watched: he reads stories about elves, all of a sudden there are elves in the tree; he reads about dinosaurs and he says we're going to go back in time tomorrow. In these cases I'm not sure if he wants to believe there really are elves in the tree or he thinks that everything in a book is 100% reality based truth (I suspect both) but in both cases I don't think he's actually seeing them. I'd be more concerned if he said out of nowhere that there was a purple giraffe in the room or an imaginary friend talking to him. What he's doing I've seen with younger kids - I babysat when the Little Mermaid came out and one little girl kept seeing mermaids in every body of water.

Acting is a great idea, we do some activities like sports and art but haven't tried that yet!
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Old 07-09-2014, 06:50 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,831,238 times
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Imaginary friends aren't concerning. My little sister had a guardian angle living in the vaporizer for years. She turned out just fine. She's probably the most normal member of my family, including myself.

You'll be surprised at the various things children need help understanding aren't real. I'll never forget when my daughter asked, "What's so great about 1-800 Safe Auto that people are singing about it in the shower?" She was old enough I expected she would have known better since she already understood movies and video games weren't real for years.

Since everything is based on the books he reads, it does sound like he very well might be having a difficult understanding that books aren't real instead of an active imagination. But wanting to go back in time to dinosaurs doesn't lack a grasp of reality since he clearly knows dinosaurs aren't alive today, unless the book he is reading has a time machine.

Maybe he is struggling with what he reads doesn't match what he sees. Maybe he understands they aren't real, but he wants them to be real because they are much more interesting than reality.

It's possible he doesn't understand that what is in books isn't necessarily true. I remember my father telling me anyone can write a book or article when I was steadfast insisting I had proof of that something was true. I was much older and this was a political discussion, but the same concept applies. In this regard, having your son write stories will help him realize that books are the result of people's imaginations/opinions.

Even when you think he finally understands, he is certainly a child you will need to protect from age-inappropriate movies, television, and video games throughout his life.

Last edited by Hopes; 07-09-2014 at 07:05 AM..
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Old 07-10-2014, 06:50 AM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,431 posts, read 2,475,491 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tribechamy View Post
Wow, lots of conversation here!

To respond, working backward a bit:

As much as I'd love to do the "oh, he's gifted!" thing, he really isn't, by standardized test score or school performance he's solidly average, maybe a little above in a few areas but overall just a regular student. When teachers or others say, "He's so smart!" I think they're generally picking up on his detailed knowledge of this or that subject. But really he's a bookworm who's curious about a lot of things. Also we do tend to foster this tendency - if he expresses an interest in a subject we follow that with trips to the library, internet searches, museum visits, etc. We're a bit nerdy ourselves.

The class discussion has been interesting but I'm nervous about weighing that too heavily. We're in a slightly more mixed area but that does include lots of people who are more wealthy than us. Also it's not all about money. In our home (Greater Boston area) some affluent communities are made of people who work in things like finance and other affluent (and some less affluent) communities are made up of people in academia, research, etc. We came from the latter to an area that is mixed, so we have everything from finance gurus & C-level execs & business owners to teachers & nurses & firefighters to people who work seasonally in the building trades - all fields which arguably aren't as creativity based as physics or writing. And that's not a bad thing: Albert Einstein may have been a genius but from what I know of his life I wouldn't necessarily have trusted him with my money, my life, or my home.

Part of why we moved also had to do with the area we came from. I grew up in these same academic based towns and while surrounding oneself with the best and brightest can expose a child to great examples and inspire them to great heights it also can be intimidating and can even stifle dreams if everyone else appears to be part of the elite. If you wander over to the MA board you often see mention of "pressure cooker schools" in some communities, and those aren't expensive prep schools, they're the public ones. We wanted our child to be able to pursue his interests and regular academics without feeling as if he were competing in some race to the top.

That being said I totally get what everyone is saying - it can be isolating to be interested in science or history or art when it seems like everyone else is just interested in football. However I still hold out hope that he's not the only kid who has these interests, there are lots of bright kids here, however some are more pragmatic and reality-driven. Even if I didn't have that hope moving or private/charter schools aren't really a practical option.

There has been a lot of great advice here, lots to take in! Thank you so much to everyone for your thoughtful responses, you've given so many ideas and action plans to pursue
FYI: giftedness doesn't express itself on a fixed schedule. A British researcher followed around over 200 people for decades. Some were not noticed until they were middle school age. It depends on the person's interests and abilities. I don't think I stood out until I discovered history (end of second grade) and realised that books weren't just a pleasant way to fritter away time imagining talking rabbits.

Curiosity is the surest mark of intelligence married with drive. Yes, his interests change quickly, but being a dilettante is the luxury of a child discovering what the world has to offer. He'll have a lifetime for depth and dedication to one or a few interests when he is older. The intellectual curiosity, if sustained, will rapidly accelerate him ahead of "average" students zoned out on video games/TV/iPhones. Reading nearly anything will make him conversant on a range of topics as well as sew the seeds of critical thinking. While other students learn grammar, vocabulary, and spelling (badly, if most people are an indicator) from textbooks, he'll have learned these by example of published authors.

It's difficult to assess intelligence via test scores at the age of 6 or 7. Your kid may be "average" by the standards of a high income, high educational attainment neighbourhood, but he's far ahead of the American "average".

As for social class, it's not all about money. This is a fundamental flaw in the American understanding of the concept. Taste, education, and culture are the more important components. In an extreme example, a disinherited aristocrat is still an aristocrat while a semi-literate redneck who wins the megaball lottery will still be a semi-literate redneck.
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:21 PM
 
Location: MA
675 posts, read 1,694,632 times
Reputation: 929
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Imaginary friends aren't concerning. My little sister had a guardian angle living in the vaporizer for years. She turned out just fine. She's probably the most normal member of my family, including myself.

You'll be surprised at the various things children need help understanding aren't real. I'll never forget when my daughter asked, "What's so great about 1-800 Safe Auto that people are singing about it in the shower?" She was old enough I expected she would have known better since she already understood movies and video games weren't real for years.

Since everything is based on the books he reads, it does sound like he very well might be having a difficult understanding that books aren't real instead of an active imagination. But wanting to go back in time to dinosaurs doesn't lack a grasp of reality since he clearly knows dinosaurs aren't alive today, unless the book he is reading has a time machine.

Maybe he is struggling with what he reads doesn't match what he sees. Maybe he understands they aren't real, but he wants them to be real because they are much more interesting than reality.

It's possible he doesn't understand that what is in books isn't necessarily true. I remember my father telling me anyone can write a book or article when I was steadfast insisting I had proof of that something was true. I was much older and this was a political discussion, but the same concept applies. In this regard, having your son write stories will help him realize that books are the result of people's imaginations/opinions.

Even when you think he finally understands, he is certainly a child you will need to protect from age-inappropriate movies, television, and video games throughout his life.
I think you hit on something very important. We actually don't have to protect him from age-inappropriate movies, TV, etc because he protects himself - that is, he really shies away from a lot of movies & things that are supposed to be aimed at kids, saying they are too scary. Didn't click until you said this that he probably IS having trouble understanding that what he sees isn't real. While books don't cause the same reaction (mostly) this probably is the case as well.

Thank you, this is very good advice - we have a lot to work on.
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Old 07-10-2014, 08:33 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,088,332 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tribechamy View Post
- we have a lot to work on.
Nudge. Don't quash.
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Old 07-11-2014, 02:50 AM
 
Location: MA
675 posts, read 1,694,632 times
Reputation: 929
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Nudge. Don't quash.
No worries
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Old 07-11-2014, 09:58 AM
 
12,003 posts, read 11,851,991 times
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Rather than using the term "not real", how about using "imaginary", to help sort out the difference between fiction and non-fiction (other good terms)? You don't want to have him thinking that creative writing is "lies" or "fake", and that other writing is "real", as a child once told me about a well-known series of children's books. "Make-believe", or "made-up" might be other good options.

Children often see things in black and white terms, and this is just such an example. However, your son sounds like a delightful child: bright, creative, and very imaginative, so helping him understand that fiction, fantasy, folklore, and some forms of creative non-fiction that are products of someone's imagination aren't "lies" because they are not literally true should be fairly easy. They are still very "real", in many ways that count.

You don't want to brush off the stardust too early or too abruptly...
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