No father in home vs lazy father in home? (daycare, baby, chores)

[DubbleT]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?

Yeeouch! talk about your gender stereotyping.
A REAL man takes care of his family to the best of his ability. If that means staying at home while his partner works then that's fine, as long as it's what both of them agree to.
Does that mean the 'good concerned people' also think she is not a REAL woman because she 'abandoned' her kids and went to work in the first place, instead of staying home and popping out more babies?

[lkb0714]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

No,not at all trolling.

TO lots of people it is,because many people see it as him mooching off a woman.
the sahd does the bare minimum as far as chores,but he still feeds the kiddies,watches them, gives them baths.

Some people think the woman is a dummy for allowing it to happen(for her hubby to stay st home)

And some people think people from NJ smell like onions, and people who have "gal" in their name all weigh 300lbs, and people who use numbers in place of words are all illiterate and too lazy to type out entire words. See I can make wild generalizations based on stereotypes too!

Implying stay at home dads are lazy is a wild generalization with nothing to back it up.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

Why is it lazy for a parent to watch and feed the kids while the other spouse works? You wouldn't call a woman doing the same thing lazy.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

Would not the kids be harmed by having a dysfunctional family though?

Who moved my thread to relationships?
I think it should be in Great Debates.

What is dysfunctional about a father who takes care of his kids?

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by kharing

My vote is for no father in the home, dependent on his attitude.

A good friend/coworker has a husband that hasn't worked in years. He's verbally abusive, toxic and lazy. She would be better off alone than coming home after working a 12+ hour shift to a dirty home and emotionally damaged children.

Last year, she came to me to tell me she was finally sick of him. I took her out to dinner and drinks to calm her down. My advice was for her to shut up and eat her meal and drink....I knew she was just talking out her "rear"! Oh, and I was right, she's still with him and is in serious financial distress....and he's still refuses to help with household duties or work.

I can do bad by myself! Dude's worth more dead.

The OP did not say that the father was verbally abusive or toxic. She said that he stayed home and took care of the kids.

[JohnnyMack]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?

What DOES a "real man" do all day? You don't think taking care of a house and children is work?

[kharing]

Guess I need to explain my post. There was no distinction between physical or verbal abuse. I wasn't making an assumption on the father, I was describing a real life "worse case" that would make me vote no. Hope I cleared that up....I was focusing on the general vote (like a poll) not judging the father.

[Imnotatrolldamnyou]

Originally Posted by FinsterRufus

Lazy and depressed are not the same thing. Suffering from migraines and being lazy is not the same thing. Being addicted to pain meds is not laziness. If you (generic you) were talking about a man leaving his wife because she suffered any of those afflictions, which are all serious and debilitating, you'd be considered somewhat cold and heartless. Men have problems too. Do we just dump em when they don't perform up to our expectations? What happened to in sickness and in health?

Now don't you know, men are not mere humans but supermen? Only women are ever allowed to be sick, frail or needy.

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by jerseygal4u

Which is worse for kids in your opinion,having a non abusive, non working father in the home or no dad in the home?

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

I cannot find any stats on this.

One of the things Republicans(well,everyone) likes to push is that marriage is best for kids.
However,what if they have a dsyfunctional marriage(like the one above)?

How is it healthy for kids to see a lazy bum in the home?
How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?

Do you think there is something wrong with a mom who stays home, watches and feeds the kids etc...while dad works a full time job and a part time job? Is she a lazy bum?

[Ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

What is dysfunctional about a father who takes care of his kids?

Personally I wish we had more men who took care of their kids. Society tends to value what men do over what women do.