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Old 07-13-2014, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 34,176,819 times
Reputation: 14682

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Would not the kids be harmed by having a dysfunctional family though?

Who moved my thread to relationships?
I think it should be in Great Debates.
What is dysfunctional about this family?
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:28 PM
 
112 posts, read 124,745 times
Reputation: 114
I am under the impression the only difference is the genders, because OP like a lot of women I know, secretly wants to stay home and "be lazy". She's jealous. It's called projection.
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 34,176,819 times
Reputation: 14682
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imnotatrolldamnyou View Post
I am under the impression the only difference is the genders, because OP like a lot of women I know, secretly wants to stay home and "be lazy". She's jealous. It's called projection.
I will admit to saying no when dh decided he wanted to be a SAHD and it was all about me. It would have meant that I would have had to have worked two jobs or taken a job working 60 hours a week and would have never seen my children. I didn't want to live like that.

I don't think it's fair to expect one parent to work two jobs while the other works none. I think the OP would be happier if her dh got a part time job and she could give up hers. I suspect her beef is that she is working long hours because he isn't working however, this is no different than a dad who works two jobs while his wife can SAH. I still want to know if the OP would consider HER a lazy bum.
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:35 PM
 
35,097 posts, read 48,614,110 times
Reputation: 62572
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Which is worse for kids in your opinion,having a non abusive, non working father in the home or no dad in the home?

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

I cannot find any stats on this.

One of the things Republicans(well,everyone) likes to push is that marriage is best for kids.
However,what if they have a dsyfunctional marriage(like the one above)?

How is it healthy for kids to see a lazy bum in the home?
How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?
How can he be lazy when he is raising his children? (Real Dad's don't "watch/babysit" their children they raise them just like their Mother would).

He is doing what the wife would be doing if she was not employed and staying home with the children and he was employed.
If the children went to daycare while she worked and he stayed home and did nothing but watch sports all day and eat bon bons that is a completely different story.
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Old 07-13-2014, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 34,176,819 times
Reputation: 14682
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
No,not at all trolling.

TO lots of people it is,because many people see it as him mooching off a woman.
the sahd does the bare minimum as far as chores,but he still feeds the kiddies,watches them, gives them baths.

Some people think the woman is a dummy for allowing it to happen(for her hubby to stay st home)
I think her opinion matters more than that of "many people". They are not living her life. She is.

I admit I refused to sign up for this because I wanted to have time for my kids.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:07 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,949 posts, read 21,298,058 times
Reputation: 25779
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Lazy and depressed are not the same thing. Suffering from migraines and being lazy is not the same thing. Being addicted to pain meds is not laziness. If you (generic you) were talking about a man leaving his wife because she suffered any of those afflictions, which are all serious and debilitating, you'd be considered somewhat cold and heartless. Men have problems too. Do we just dump em when they don't perform up to our expectations? What happened to in sickness and in health?
I'm all on board with SAHD. This guy was lazy AND depressed AND addicted to prescription pain Meds AND could never keep any job longer than 6 months.

He also like to smoke a great deal of weed in all of his free time.

I have no sympathy and that crosses all gender boundaries.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:19 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 104,155,711 times
Reputation: 30666
Since the OP was upset this thread was moved from Great Debates, I suspect he/she intended this topic to be a shockingly extreme view.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:22 PM
 
Location: here
24,865 posts, read 34,641,612 times
Reputation: 32706
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Which is worse for kids in your opinion,having a non abusive, non working father in the home or no dad in the home?

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

I cannot find any stats on this.

One of the things Republicans(well,everyone) likes to push is that marriage is best for kids.
However,what if they have a dsyfunctional marriage(like the one above)?

How is it healthy for kids to see a lazy bum in the home?
How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?
My first thought is that a lot of moms stay home and "watch and feed the kids etc" while dad is out working. They aren't lazy, at least most aren't.
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Old 07-13-2014, 08:29 PM
 
11,841 posts, read 8,828,477 times
Reputation: 13526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
I'm all on board with SAHD. This guy was lazy AND depressed AND addicted to prescription pain Meds AND could never keep any job longer than 6 months.

He also like to smoke a great deal of weed in all of his free time.

I have no sympathy and that crosses all gender boundaries.
Ok that's cool. I thought that was a bit if a weird statement coming from you.

In my defense you did say or in your OP.
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Old 07-13-2014, 10:04 PM
 
Location: here
24,865 posts, read 34,641,612 times
Reputation: 32706
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Would not the kids be harmed by having a dysfunctional family though?

Who moved my thread to relationships?
I think it should be in Great Debates.
The OP is lacking a lot of details. What makes this a dysfunctional family?
Rate this post positively
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