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Old 07-13-2014, 10:15 PM
 
47 posts, read 157,947 times
Reputation: 36

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NO DAD, I know from experience.
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Old 07-13-2014, 11:12 PM
 
6,318 posts, read 6,887,392 times
Reputation: 11978
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Which is worse for kids in your opinion,having a non abusive, non working father in the home or no dad in the home?

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

I cannot find any stats on this.

One of the things Republicans(well,everyone) likes to push is that marriage is best for kids.
However,what if they have a dsyfunctional marriage(like the one above)?

How is it healthy for kids to see a lazy bum in the home?
How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?
Wow.

As long as no ones beating on or abusing or neglecting anyone, there is no difference.

Children accept everything.

The children of the lazy bum won't THINK he's a lazy bum, until someone like you tells them.

If they have one parent that works outside the home, what's the big deal? It's worked that way for centuries without a problem?
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Old 07-13-2014, 11:31 PM
 
7,760 posts, read 15,208,967 times
Reputation: 10441
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Which is worse for kids in your opinion,having a non abusive, non working father in the home or no dad in the home?

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

I cannot find any stats on this.

One of the things Republicans(well,everyone) likes to push is that marriage is best for kids.
However,what if they have a dsyfunctional marriage(like the one above)?

How is it healthy for kids to see a lazy bum in the home?
How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?
I am having such a hard time wrapping my head around the SAHP being referred as a "lazy bum" especially when they're doing the job they're supposed to do (watch/feed kids). And that setup is "dysfunctional"?

Yikes.

There has to be more to the story or the OP is a die hard traditionalist who doesn't like how the times are a-changing.
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Old 07-13-2014, 11:41 PM
 
6,318 posts, read 6,887,392 times
Reputation: 11978
I don't like the judgey wudgey tone, not at all.

What would OP say in a situation where there's TWO dads, or TWO mums?

Would one automatically be classed as "lazy bum" just because they are primary caregiver?
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Old 07-14-2014, 12:05 AM
 
Location: USA
28,364 posts, read 19,595,496 times
Reputation: 17611
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
Wow.

As long as no ones beating on or abusing or neglecting anyone, there is no difference.

Children accept everything.

The children of the lazy bum won't THINK he's a lazy bum, until someone like you tells them.

If they have one parent that works outside the home, what's the big deal? It's worked that way for centuries without a problem?
True! Children love and perhaps even need to look up to their parents, even bad parents. Hell, Obama wrote a book about a bastard father who deserted him.


Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
I don't like the judgey wudgey tone, not at all.

What would OP say in a situation where there's TWO dads, or TWO mums?

Would one automatically be classed as "lazy bum" just because they are primary caregiver?
Well, now you clouding the issue. How MM or WW do it is another issue entirely. Most hetero parents follow 'some' traditional Male/Female roles which are a combination of learned societal roles and innate biological driven behavior.
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:15 AM
 
8,808 posts, read 13,074,131 times
Reputation: 9152
Quote:
Originally Posted by cindersslipper View Post
Wow.

As long as no ones beating on or abusing or neglecting anyone, there is no difference.

Children accept everything.

The children of the lazy bum won't THINK he's a lazy bum, until someone like you tells them.

If they have one parent that works outside the home, what's the big deal? It's worked that way for centuries without a problem?
The issue is is that the wife is tired and wants to see the kids more often but cannot because she has to pay all of the bills.
He cooks most times and the house is usually clean.

Isnt she like a "sugar momma" and taking care of him?
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:27 AM
 
35,097 posts, read 48,614,110 times
Reputation: 62572
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
The issue is is that the wife is tired and wants to see the kids more often but cannot because she has to pay all of the bills.
He cooks most times and the house is usually clean.

Isnt she like a "sugar momma" and taking care of him?
I don't think that definition fits this situation and if the wife is tired and wants to see the kids more maybe she should talk to her husband about him going to work at least part time so she can quit her part time job.

The bottom line though is that she needs to tend to her home, husband and family and everyone else needs to keep their opinions to themselves since someone else's home,husband and family are none of their business.
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:35 AM
 
8,808 posts, read 13,074,131 times
Reputation: 9152
I think the issue is when she tells people she works 2 jobs and that they learn he stays home they look at her like she is crazy.
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:42 AM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
15,301 posts, read 19,215,918 times
Reputation: 40256
If she's tired now how do you think she'll fare if she's doing it on her own without the husband there to help take care of things?
She might get lucky and actually receive some kind of child support, but the tradeoff is that the kids now will have to go to some sort of day $$$ care, she continues to pay bills and picks up all the household chores too. Unless he's a threat of some kind, or an actual drain on the family finances (drugs, booze, some other stupid way to fritter away money) then I'd think long and carefully about becoming a single parent by choice, just because she's tired.

PS tell her she needs to start hanging around with more enlightened people. How many people would look at a man like he's crazy if he works while wife stays home? What's the big deal whether it's the man or the woman, unless you still live in the past.
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Old 07-14-2014, 05:48 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 17,295,352 times
Reputation: 43021
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
The issue is is that the wife is tired and wants to see the kids more often but cannot because she has to pay all of the bills.
He cooks most times and the house is usually clean.

Isnt she like a "sugar momma" and taking care of him?
Does a housewife have a sugar daddy?

Seriously, are you trolling or something? How is this different if a man married a woman who stayed home? If he's maintaining the household and she's earning the money, that seems a normal split.

Now if she's working two jobs and the kids are in school part of the time, then something needs to be re-evaluated maybe. But it really depends if she's unhappy with the situation and whether her unhappiness from the situation stems from other people's opinions or her own discontent.
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