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Old 07-14-2014, 12:06 PM
 
Location: here
24,865 posts, read 34,644,473 times
Reputation: 32706

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
she still has to go to school meetings,shop,and go to Dr. appointments.

She does not do laundry or take the kids to school.
Unless this person is you, then you really don't know what is going on in her home or her marriage. If she is unhappy about the situation and is vocal about it in front of her kids, then, yes, I suppose it could be harmful. So far, you haven't provided any details that point to that. For all we know, it is no different than a mom staying home, and a dad working long hours, which is very common.

For someone who wanted to discuss this enough to start a thread about it, your posts are very terse.
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Old 07-14-2014, 12:07 PM
 
16,719 posts, read 18,271,779 times
Reputation: 41440
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Which is worse for kids in your opinion,having a non abusive, non working father in the home or no dad in the home?

What i mean by lazy is a non working dad who watches and feeds the kids etc while the wife works a full time and part time job.

I cannot find any stats on this.

One of the things Republicans(well,everyone) likes to push is that marriage is best for kids.
However,what if they have a dsyfunctional marriage(like the one above)?

How is it healthy for kids to see a lazy bum in the home?
How will boys know what a real man does if they see Dad home all day?
So I guess that pretty much sums it up for all the "lazy" SAHMs too.

Aren't you just a peach?
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Old 07-14-2014, 12:11 PM
 
16,719 posts, read 18,271,779 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
No,not at all trolling.

TO lots of people it is,because many people see it as him mooching off a woman.
the sahd does the bare minimum as far as chores,but he still feeds the kiddies,watches them, gives them baths.

Some people think the woman is a dummy for allowing it to happen(for her hubby to stay st home)
If your friends think your husband is lazy because he stays at home with the kids, then you need some new friends. They sound like elitist assclowns.
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Old 07-14-2014, 12:12 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 104,163,657 times
Reputation: 30666
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
She does wonder what would happen if she gets sick.
She's not experiencing any more pressure than a working father who has a SAH wife running a household. The entire family depends upon the breadwinner in a one income family.

If this isn't a responsibility YOU want to bear all on your own, you need to have a talk with your husband. Honestly, your negative opinion of him is more of an indication that you need marriage counseling more than anything else.
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:28 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
33,949 posts, read 21,298,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
The issue is is that the wife is tired and wants to see the kids more often but cannot because she has to pay all of the bills.
He cooks most times and the house is usually clean.

Isnt she like a "sugar momma" and taking care of him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyMack View Post
You still haven't answered the question ... What if the rolls were reversed ... Would SHE be a lazy bum??
We all KNOW what your answer is, we just want you to acknowledge it.
I agree. If he's cooking and cleaning and taking the kids to/from school . . . what's wrong with that??

A good friend of mine made this arrangement with her husband (mainly because she was making a TON of money) and he was good with it.

He was a great SAHD and we never, ever thought he was lazy ~ because he wasn't!
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:52 PM
 
8,808 posts, read 13,074,131 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Unless this person is you, then you really don't know what is going on in her home or her marriage. If she is unhappy about the situation and is vocal about it in front of her kids, then, yes, I suppose it could be harmful. So far, you haven't provided any details that point to that. For all we know, it is no different than a mom staying home, and a dad working long hours, which is very common.

For someone who wanted to discuss this enough to start a thread about it, your posts are very terse.
Yes it is me,but i am thinking about letting him back into our lives.
Kicked him out some yrs ago,and it has NOT been any easier paying babysitters.
I also have not met a man that meets my standards either.
Yes,i was going to try to meet a man that works like i do but there are not many men willing to date a single mom.
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Old 07-14-2014, 01:56 PM
 
Location: here
24,865 posts, read 34,644,473 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Yes it is me,but i am thinking about letting him back into our lives.
Kicked him out some yrs ago,and it has NOT been any easier paying babysitters.
I also have not met a man that meets my standards either.
Yes,i was going to try to meet a man that works like i do but there are not many men willing to date a single mom.
There is obviously more going on here than you have divulged. We can't really give you fair answers. If your real question is "should I let this guy back into our lives because at least the child care is free" the my answer would be no.
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Old 07-14-2014, 02:26 PM
 
1,166 posts, read 1,312,604 times
Reputation: 2170
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Yes it is me,but i am thinking about letting him back into our lives.
Kicked him out some yrs ago,and it has NOT been any easier paying babysitters.
I also have not met a man that meets my standards either.
Yes,i was going to try to meet a man that works like i do but there are not many men willing to date a single mom.
What has he been doing all these years since you kicked him out without your financial support?
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Old 07-14-2014, 02:42 PM
 
16,719 posts, read 18,271,779 times
Reputation: 41440
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Yes it is me,but i am thinking about letting him back into our lives.
Kicked him out some yrs ago,and it has NOT been any easier paying babysitters.
I also have not met a man that meets my standards either.
Yes,i was going to try to meet a man that works like i do but there are not many men willing to date a single mom.
I think you need to leave him alone and let him find a woman who will actually appreciate him as a dad, instead of you, who is considering taking him back despite all his shortcomings, simply because you can't find a man of your own.
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Old 07-14-2014, 02:45 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 104,163,657 times
Reputation: 30666
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u View Post
Yes it is me,but i am thinking about letting him back into our lives.
Kicked him out some yrs ago,and it has NOT been any easier paying babysitters.
I also have not met a man that meets my standards either.
Yes,i was going to try to meet a man that works like i do but there are not many men willing to date a single mom.
You talked about fear of what would happen if you became sick. Then you chose to be a single mother, who truly is at a greater risk of financial disaster with an illness. And suddenly you found yourself paying for babysitters, having to do all of the laundry yourself, all of the cleaning yourself, all of the carpooling yourself, all of the cooking yourself, all of everything yourself. You sure didn't think through the ramifications of what would happen if you broke up with him, and it doesn't sound like you learned anything since then.

You shouldn't get back together with him. He deserves to be in a relationship with someone who values him more than you do.
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