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If you had/have a loving trusting relationship with your child, and you tell them they can talk to you about anything, how would you respond when they come up to you at 16 and ask you to buy them some condoms cause they feel the time has come?
Would it change based on whether it was a son or daughter?
Honestly... I'd go with them to buy the condoms and I would on the way discuss in depth the subject and potential repercussions. I'm all for having an open/loving relationship with my kids and I'm not stupid and don't want them to be. I plan to have relevant discussions way before age 16.
It saddens me to read how other people would handle the situation with relative ignorance. In fact I think a more realistic age to expect for such a conversation these days might even be up to 4 years younger.
Would I want to? NO. Would I want them to have sex at that age? NO.
BUT. They will do it with or without the condoms. If I say it's their responsibility- most likely they won't buy them, and it would probably be out of embarrassment. They will do it anyway. I can't lock them in their room. They can do it anywhere: in school (yep, knew kids who did), outside, friends house, in the woods, in a car, in an alley- you can't be with your child 24/7 and if they want to find a place, believe me- they will.
I'd rather them have sex with condoms then sex without and lead the way to pregnancy, sexual diseases.
Of course I will have a nice ole talk with them, show them pictures of teen moms/dads, what sexual diseases look like....but I would rather them be protected than not, since where there's a will, there's a way.
Would I want to? NO. Would I want them to have sex at that age? NO.
BUT. They will do it with or without the condoms. If I say it's their responsibility- most likely they won't buy them, and it would probably be out of embarrassment. They will do it anyway. I can't lock them in their room. They can do it anywhere: in school (yep, knew kids who did), outside, friends house, in the woods, in a car, in an alley- you can't be with your child 24/7 and if they want to find a place, believe me- they will.
I'd rather them have sex with condoms then sex without and lead the way to pregnancy, sexual diseases.
Of course I will have a nice ole talk with them, show them pictures of teen moms/dads, what sexual diseases look like....but I would rather them be protected than not, since where there's a will, there's a way.
I always thought that would be effective.
that and showing a daughter a picture of John Holmes and saying, "he was kinda small..."
I definitely would buy it for them. So many parent's here are being judgmental. If your teen is talking to you and asking for protection--than we as parents must do our part. We must sit them down, explain our feelings (not condone), talk about STD's, child-birth, self-value, and ask are you sure you ready? Not only buy it, take them to the store and explain what's on the shelf. I have a girl, so I would put her on birth control, as well as give her condoms. I don't judge people by what they do. I had sex at age 15 and choose to get an IUD as contraceptive without my mother knowing. Back than, you walked into Family Planning in your neighborhood, and their goal was to reduce teen-age pregnancy. It worked for me.
My daughter at 16, when I saw signs of boyfriend I put her on the pill. Since the age of 9, her doctor wanted her to take the pill to control painful menustration, but I thought it was too early. As a parent, I saw the signs and took control. My daughter did have sex at 16 and told my girlfriend, who told me. We did talk about the situation and guess who she blamed? Me, of course. According to her, if I didn't put her on the pill, she wouldn't had sex. I don't believed that story and I make sure she take her pill daily. Give teens access and knowledge for responsible choices.
it would be on their dime. You say you're mature enough to have sex, then be mature enough to take care of your own birth control/std protection.
Needs to be repeated. If they aren't mature enough to provide them for themselves, they aren't mature enough to be having sex.
This falls under the dreaded "personal responsibility" thing though - few adults these days can grasp the concept. And sadly, even fewer are making the effort to teach it to their children.
it would be on their dime. You say you're mature enough to have sex, then be mature enough to take care of your own birth control/std protection.
Needs to be repeated. If they aren't mature enough to provide them for themselves, they aren't mature enough to be having sex.
This falls under the dreaded "personal responsibility" thing though - few adults these days can grasp the concept. And sadly, even fewer are making the effort to teach it to their children.
so, if they aren't mature enough to buy protection, but have sex anyway, tough luck?
I've had the talk with my daughter in various stages since she was about seven and asked me where babies come from. We've always been pretty open about it and have emphasized the need for safety and trust in a partner. I will no more expect my daughter to be mature enough to buy it herself than I would expect her to be mature enough to wait. Of course I WANT her to wait and have emphasized how important it is to wait, but I will not be terribly surprised if she does not. I didn't, nor do most people. And if I expect her to go buy her own, I run the risk of her chickening out and still having sex. The reason condoms are frequently locked up in stores is because kids steal them out of embarrassment. I hate buying them, and I'm 35.
If you had/have a loving trusting relationship with your child, and you tell them they can talk to you about anything, how would you respond when they come up to you at 16 and ask you to buy them some condoms cause they feel the time has come?
Would it change based on whether it was a son or daughter?
I have sons. Toddlers,so in 10 years, my whole take could change....
That being said, no, I would not buy them condoms.
If they feel the need to take this path in life at that age, they can do so on their own free will. If they get a girl pregnany with or without condoms, they can accept to be completely responsible for caring for that child as long as they are under our roof. If they get a STD be it with or without condoms, they will need to accept it & realize that their choice is the reason, not the condoms...
I will not support my teenage sons having sex & hope that through the years they can appreciate and respect the value of absitence. If not, it was their choice and they will have to learn to live with the consequences of their own free will. As a parent, I do not condone premarital sex even if I know it is happening as many parents do...
The pill won't prevent a UTI, and neither will a condom. You need to teach her that she should urinate right after sex, and clean up properly.
She has been told this- thanks
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