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I'm sorry, but didn't you exchange vows with this woman? "For better or worse. For richer or poorer". I guess they mean nothing to you. You don't really love her or you would never think of divorcing her. You are abandoning her when she needs you most. You are a selfish man.
No it's not; it's to her husband. Together they are responsible for the kids. Your attitude, IMO, is a big reason for so much divorce.
No. When you have minor children, THEY are your first responsibility. Spouses/partners may come and go, but your children are always your children. Once they are 18 - then yes, I agree with you that your allegiance is to your spouse. I also think that when a couple has children TOGETHER, they foster their relationship and together care for the children. But a second marriage with stepchildren - that changes the dynamic a little bit. Not all step parents are good parents. Not all PARENTS are good parents, either, but when you share a child usually you both have that child's best interests as a top priority. In the case of a second marriage, it's up to the biological parent to put their minor children first.
No. When you have minor children, THEY are your first responsibility. Spouses/partners may come and go, but your children are always your children. Once they are 18 - then yes, I agree with you that your allegiance is to your spouse. I also think that when a couple has children TOGETHER, they foster their relationship and together care for the children. But a second marriage with stepchildren - that changes the dynamic a little bit. Not all step parents are good parents. Not all PARENTS are good parents, either, but when you share a child usually you both have that child's best interests as a top priority. In the case of a second marriage, it's up to the biological parent to put their minor children first.
Actually, I'd say you shouldn't just kick your kids to the curb even the second they are 18 because your spouse demands it.
In so far as this "love" thing that Dave mentioned, I'd point out that it goes both ways - meaning that, if you love your spouse, sometimes you have to accept some things you don't want to. If you won't, how is that love? Dave, like OP, has some growing up to do.
Dave knows the idolatry and betrayal that many women feel a right to indulge in.
Idolatry? Betrayal? Really? Being jealous of your spouse's child is sure healthy.
So what should OP's wife do? Kick her 16 year old daughter to the curb (a FELONY in many states) out of love for OP? Relationships take work. That almost always includes accepting that some things aren't going to go exactly the way you want. I mean this generically; there are tons of other issues that can come up, including ones not even involving children.
Did you read this entire thread, or just the first post?? The OP's original reaction has changed almost entirely, and abortion is certainly not an option at all now. Please read at least the first few pages and the last couple of pages before posting, including the OP's post #98, as the situation has changed almost completely.
OP, I am glad that your initial reaction has changed, and that you're seeing things more clearly and compassionately. It's not going to be easy, but it will be much, much better now that your family is all on the same page.
Best wishes to you, your daughter, and the rest of your family.
I didn't realize that the guy changed his mind and so easily had his convictions swayed. And when his other kids come home and tell him they got their girlfriend pregnant that he is not surprised since he has set the precedent.
I didn't realize that the guy changed his mind and so easily had his convictions swayed. And when his other kids come home and tell him they got their girlfriend pregnant that he is not surprised since he has set the precedent.
Being a supportive in a crisis is a good precedent to set.
Idolatry? Betrayal? Really? Being jealous of your spouse's child is sure healthy.
So what should OP's wife do? Kick her 16 year old daughter to the curb (a FELONY in many states) out of love for OP? Relationships take work. That almost always includes accepting that some things aren't going to go exactly the way you want. I mean this generically; there are tons of other issues that can come up, including ones not even involving children.
BTW, I am a man.
I think OP should do exactly what he decides is right for him. I respect his decision and wish him well.
I didn't realize that the guy changed his mind and so easily had his convictions swayed. And when his other kids come home and tell him they got their girlfriend pregnant that he is not surprised since he has set the precedent.
Yeah, well, kicking out your kid is different than allowing someone else's to move in. DON'T DO IT!!!
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