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Old 08-12-2014, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Here and there
442 posts, read 492,569 times
Reputation: 979

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When my kids were younger, my husband and I were both in school full time, and working full time (me 1 job, him 2). Plus 2 small kids and a house to "run".

My older son has never slept. He can go to bed at 2am and be up at 5 and be happy all day. AAMOF, that is how this past weekend went down.

If your husband is home during the day, why can he not shoulder some of the house stuff so you have less to do after your child goes to sleep? Like laundry or dishes or whatever? If he is sleeping 8 hours and working 8 hours, that still gives him 8 hours to help you out around the house.

Or have your child HELP you with the chores before bed - make it his job to dust or vaccum or gather up the dirty laundry, etc. Anything to help you not have as much to do after he goes to bed..thus getting yourself to sleep earlier. Or set it up so stuff you typically do at night is done during the day. Get a noise machine for your husband if you think it will disturb his sleep.

My kids still get up multiple times a night - most nights I am up at least 3x (night terrors, 7 year old still feels the need to let me know when he is getting up to pee, nightmares, just cannot sleep (my older son..), and I have multiple medical conditions, as well, and do not use caffeine. It is what it is....

I figure I will get all the sleep I need when I am dead
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Old 08-17-2014, 09:20 PM
 
436 posts, read 418,276 times
Reputation: 659
Our kids are early risers too. My son, especially, woke around 5 AM for years. 6 AM was unheard of. He's seven now and in the last year or two he just reads or plays quietly in bed. Of course, now toddler won't sleep... bah.
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Old 08-17-2014, 09:45 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,766,574 times
Reputation: 47903
Sounds perfectly normal to me and your child is obviously getting enough sleep. You should get to bed earlier yourself or give your child permission to get up and watch TV (or get a tablet to keep in the room but you put it in there at the time you go to bed).

I have always been an early riser- actually I don't sleep. But we made it as game to keep the little ones quiet as long as possible by setting out a puzzle, game, book, coloring book, whatever for them to work on before we got up.
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Old 08-18-2014, 08:45 PM
 
Location: NC
685 posts, read 1,098,726 times
Reputation: 1091
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbottoms View Post
My daughter who's 4 is determined to kill me.. She wakes up every day at 6:15-6:30. My husband works nights, 6 days a week, so he sleeps in during the day and his one day off he can't let me sleep in cause he worked the night before. I NEVER get a day to sleep in or catch up, and since he's not home I'm also up and down at night if she needs potty, is sick and so on.

I feel like that's too early for a kid her age to wake up. Her normal bedtime is around 7:30-8 depending on how long it takes us to brush teeth, read etc. I've gotten to the point where I kept her up till 9:30 the other night just hoping for her to sleep in till 7:30 or 8 am... nothing still up at same time.. I can't have coffee because I have a heart condition so I'm seriously dragging and I don't know how to get her to stop. I've asked her to stay in bed till the sun at least comes up, and I can hear her in there jumping around, talking etc so I'm up anyways. I feel so burnt dealing with it all night alone, then her hanging on me all day for 13 hours too. Any suggestions on this? I'm feel like I've got a newborn with the hours she has me going.
Both my kids wake up that time. Actually, 2 nights ago, our 9 month old woke up at 4:15 a.m. bouncing ready to play and didn't nap again until close to 9 a.m That's what time I was up for the day at. Every day for the past 3 years I have been up at 6-6:30 a.m., sometimes earlier. Sleeping in for my house is 7:30 a.m. You just get used to it...
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Old 08-18-2014, 09:58 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,766,574 times
Reputation: 47903
I find it incredible that some posters feel this is the place to criticize some for having kids "before their life goals are met". Sure we all should be adults, finished with all formal school, able to buy a house outright and have no debts at all before having kids???Really??
I don't think kids should have kids but this doesn't sound like that is the case here. And life and setting new goals does not stop just because kids come along. I commend those who try to better themselves with more education no matter where they are in life. Adjustments have to be made but it can be done.

Neither one of my first two kids slept through the night till they were almost 3 and they are 2.5 years apart. That meant almost 6 years of broken sleep. Was not fun but if that was the price I had to pay for two beautiful healthy kids I was happy to pay it.
When we adopted 2 more babies "late" in life (and I mean LATE) we went through that all over again and I thanked god every time I heard them cry and that I could care for them and meet their needs.
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Old 08-18-2014, 10:07 PM
 
Location: NC
685 posts, read 1,098,726 times
Reputation: 1091
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I find it incredible that some posters feel this is the place to criticize some for having kids "before their life goals are met". Sure we all should be adults, finished with all formal school, able to buy a house outright and have no debts at all before having kids???Really??
I don't think kids should have kids but this doesn't sound like that is the case here. And life and setting new goals does not stop just because kids come along. I commend those who try to better themselves with more education no matter where they are in life. Adjustments have to be made but it can be done.

Neither one of my first two kids slept through the night till they were almost 3 and they are 2.5 years apart. That meant almost 6 years of broken sleep. Was not fun but if that was the price I had to pay for two beautiful healthy kids I was happy to pay it.
When we adopted 2 more babies "late" in life (and I mean LATE) we went through that all over again and I thanked god every time I heard them cry and that I could care for them and meet their needs.
Amen!
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Old 08-19-2014, 06:04 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,681,185 times
Reputation: 19539
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweetbottoms View Post
My daughter who's 4 is determined to kill me.. She wakes up every day at 6:15-6:30. My husband works nights, 6 days a week, so he sleeps in during the day and his one day off he can't let me sleep in cause he worked the night before. I NEVER get a day to sleep in or catch up, and since he's not home I'm also up and down at night if she needs potty, is sick and so on.

I feel like that's too early for a kid her age to wake up. Her normal bedtime is around 7:30-8 depending on how long it takes us to brush teeth, read etc. I've gotten to the point where I kept her up till 9:30 the other night just hoping for her to sleep in till 7:30 or 8 am... nothing still up at same time.. I can't have coffee because I have a heart condition so I'm seriously dragging and I don't know how to get her to stop. I've asked her to stay in bed till the sun at least comes up, and I can hear her in there jumping around, talking etc so I'm up anyways. I feel so burnt dealing with it all night alone, then her hanging on me all day for 13 hours too. Any suggestions on this? I'm feel like I've got a newborn with the hours she has me going.
Some kids wake up earlier and no, it's not too early for her to be waking up. My parents dealt with the same thing with me and I still remember laying in my bed, knowing that I'd get chewed out if I got up. I woke up at approx 4 a.m. and laid there going NUTS, because everyone else wasn't getting up so that I could, too!! I STILL wake up between 3 and 4 a.m. It is MY time to wake up, apparently!

Trust me, like other parents have said, you're going to really appreciate that, when it comes time for her to start school. It is YOU who is going to have to change YOUR sleeping schedule. It is YOU who clearly needs an earlier bedtime. It's you who needs to change their schedule, not her. I know that might sound kind of harsh, but it's true.
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Old 08-19-2014, 08:41 AM
 
10,599 posts, read 17,786,208 times
Reputation: 17349
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
I find it incredible that some posters feel this is the place to criticize some for having kids "before their life goals are met". Sure we all should be adults, finished with all formal school, able to buy a house outright and have no debts at all before having kids???Really??
I don't think kids should have kids but this doesn't sound like that is the case here. And life and setting new goals does not stop just because kids come along. I commend those who try to better themselves with more education no matter where they are in life. Adjustments have to be made but it can be done.

Neither one of my first two kids slept through the night till they were almost 3 and they are 2.5 years apart. That meant almost 6 years of broken sleep. Was not fun but if that was the price I had to pay for two beautiful healthy kids I was happy to pay it.
When we adopted 2 more babies "late" in life (and I mean LATE) we went through that all over again and I thanked god every time I heard them cry and that I could care for them and meet their needs.
Yes, really. But I'm glad you agree adjustments have to be made.

The OP never mentioned that the baby was special needs or that they were both in college full time until after the original post.

It appears the couple has the "opposite shift" arrangement which allows her to stay home and do THAT job and IMO she's extremely blessed.

His job isn't easy; I've worked overnights and it's a bear. PLUS he has the burden of being the breadwinner.

I remember telling my kid "You staying in bed an extra half hour is not going to help you - GET UP so you aren't running late for the bus".

This is the same idea.

The girl is 4. She'll be in school SOON. College can wait. People need to be super organized and flexible in these situations.

SHE can change HER shift to go to bed earlier with the daughter.

I agree with you many alternatives.

I also think having kids NOW requires a much more thoughtful approach. With the statistics saying 1 out of 88 being on the autism spectrum your entire LIFE will change overnight once you get a diagnosis and that full time job will be a doozie.

Not to mention, these situations and money are what leads to broken families. I'd rather postpone my "education" than my entire family and kid's security, happiness, enrichment and strong foundation that having me at home in a good frame of mind would provide. And by happiness I don't mean a child who demands your every waking minute. But nurturing and providing leadership and self reliance so that she has a strong inner capability to draw on for life. Approaching life from a position of strength, not weakness.
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Old 08-19-2014, 03:50 PM
 
Location: The analog world
17,077 posts, read 13,256,519 times
Reputation: 22904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Its all relative I guess. I have my kids in the car to leave for school and work at 6:50am. They have always been early risers. I can count the number of times they've slept past 7:00 in the last 11 years on 1 hand.

Does she still nap?
The OP has my sympathy, but it's only going to get harder. High school starts at 7:10 here. The earliest risers, the two high schoolers and me, are up at 5:15 to catch the bus. The next two arise at 6:15. Could be worse. Friend's son has a 6:00 class, so they're up at 4:45.
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Old 08-19-2014, 03:56 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,766,574 times
Reputation: 47903
Quote:
Originally Posted by randomparent View Post
The OP has my sympathy, but it's only going to get harder. High school starts at 7:10 here. The earliest risers, the two high schoolers and me, are up at 5:15 to catch the bus. The next two arise at 6:15. Could be worse. Friend's son has a 6:00 class, so they're up at 4:45.
a public school has a 6 a.m. class? Not a sport practice but an academic class? I find that hard to believe. I wouldn't put up with that for one second. Here the high schools start at something like 8:30. I think many high schools start later than the middle schools because of using the same buses and bus drivers.
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