Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Putting the responsibility on your wife certainly wouldn't be any worse than it is now.
And, you may learn something about how your wife (may be) making you the permanent "bad guy".
In addition - I am thinking this would give OP a chance to see if maybe his wife's way of handling situations might be, in the long run, more effective than his way.
I suggested this to a friend of mine, who was butting heads with hubby on how to deal with things (he was the softie) and the two of them quickly found that neither of them had all the answers, lol. It gave a united front to the kids, the parents ended up discovering that things went much better when they discussed and agreed on how to mete out punishment. And no one ended up being "the bad guy" as the kids were miffed at both parents, equally, lololol.
I don't know why everyone is making a big deal about the OP asking his teens to do "chores" on their vacation.
He did not mention where they were staying nor what the chores were. Even at a hotel, the "chore" could have been as simple as asking his daughters to put their dirty clothes in the laundry bag or back in their suitcases rather than scattered all over the floor, beds and tabletops and expecting he & their mom to pick up their dirty clothes for them.
If they stayed at their cabin or a vacation home you have the same household keeping chores as a home. Or if they were staying at a relative's home, you wouldn't expect the hosts to act as maids for the teen daughters.
I really doubt that the OP asked his daughters to chop wood for the fireplace or wax the floor he probably asked them to pick up their possessions and keep them tidy so that he didn't trip on them and break his neck (or expect him to pick up their stuff).
When we took vacations as a family we expected our kids to pick up their toys, clothes and books and not leave them thrown all around the hotel room. Didn't you? We never called it having "chores" but maybe the OP does.
"Chores" for me involved either cleaning the bathroom or dusting or vacuuming the house or working on the property. Picking up after myself was just kind of the business of living.
All I heard was pouting and whining about "_______'s parents let her wear that/drink/don't give her chores"
I think that not arguing is the bigger issue. Don't argue if you don't want to argue. You complain that all you do is argue but I cannot understand why you don't just stop arguing.
Next time, leave the teens behind when you go on vacation, or find ways to let them have the freedom to enjoy the vacation in their own way.
I think at that age, too much family "togetherness" is overrated and uncomfortable. When we were teens (3 of us!), my parents started renting a beach house for a week each summer. We could each bring a friend, and we had freedom to roam the beach and drive ourselves to town to go to the arcades or play mini golf or whatever. We just had to let the 'rents know where we were from time to time and we looked out for each other. We got spending money and had to budget it for the week.
There was no family strife, arguing or talk of chores, and it was pure heaven. I do this type of vacation with my kids now and everyone relaxes.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
