Why does my daughter do all of this? (teenage, divorce, baby)
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Not " concern" really, I'm just puzzled as to why she does all of this.
Have you asked her?
She may just be a very responsible young person who loves you and wants to do her part to support the family. While it's unusual, unless she's unhappy or it's keeping her from achieving a goal, just tell her "thank you" and consider yourself lucky.
When she doesn't do that stuff, is the house messy? Are there dishes piled in the sink? Do you eat chips and salsa for dinner? She may just like cleanliness and order in her life. That could be especially true if her early life was chaotic with two teenage parents.
It's possible that she's afraid you're going to abandon her, or she doesn't want you to date anyone and thinks being so helpful will stop you from doing that. But really, no one on here will be able to tell you that--only she can.
When she was 5 and 6, to her, seeing me come home at night was like Christmas for her, and I always felt a little bad because all I could think about was " You should have a mom here too."
You've said a couple of times that you've told her you can do laundry and vacuum, etc., but do you actually do it? What happens if you beat her to the laundry or the other housework?
She may just be a very responsible young person who loves you and wants to do her part to support the family. While it's unusual, unless she's unhappy or it's keeping her from achieving a goal, just tell her "thank you" and consider yourself lucky.
When she doesn't do that stuff, is the house messy? Are there dishes piled in the sink? Do you eat chips and salsa for dinner? She may just like cleanliness and order in her life. That could be especially true if her early life was chaotic with two teenage parents.
It's possible that she's afraid you're going to abandon her, or she doesn't want you to date anyone and thinks being so helpful will stop you from doing that. But really, no one on here will be able to tell you that--only she can.
Maybe. She may do it from a subconscious fear and will not be able to relay that if thats true. i think fear of being abandoned is real, and a motivator.
It's terrible that she's missing out of life opportunities because she feels the need to "take care of you". This isn't your fault but she will continue this in her life relationships if you don't address and resolve the underlying problem. She will be burdened with being a walking mat if she experiences fear of someone leaving her.
She may just be a very responsible young person who loves you and wants to do her part to support the family. While it's unusual, unless she's unhappy or it's keeping her from achieving a goal, just tell her "thank you" and consider yourself lucky.
When she doesn't do that stuff, is the house messy? Are there dishes piled in the sink? Do you eat chips and salsa for dinner? She may just like cleanliness and order in her life. That could be especially true if her early life was chaotic with two teenage parents.
It's possible that she's afraid you're going to abandon her, or she doesn't want you to date anyone and thinks being so helpful will stop you from doing that. But really, no one on here will be able to tell you that--only she can.
I have asked her why she does specific things.
Why does she clean? She hates filth and " because she wants to"
Why does she work? " I live here too, I want to pitch in"
Why cook? " You can't cook"
You've said a couple of times that you've told her you can do laundry and vacuum, etc., but do you actually do it? What happens if you beat her to the laundry or the other housework?
I do it on nights that are really rough on her " Finals week, late nights at work, etc." and her response is " Thanks, but I could've done that."
Last edited by Ghostfacefan; 08-14-2014 at 01:41 PM..
I do it on nights that are really rough on her " Finals week, late nights at work, etc." and her response is " Thanks, but I cold've done that."
Your response should be, of course you can. I've raised you well. But I am still your father and insist on doing it myself so you can live your life. I will always be here."
ETA- Tell her when you're old and can no longer do it, you will need her to help out. Until then, assure her that you're not going anywhere and that she has a lot of living to do.
It's just sad. Not long ago, like mid July, it was a beautiful day outside, I stayed out all day, but she was waitressing. I would've taken a sick day.
Like I said, she refuses to go to college more than 30 min. away, and she plans on commuting from home. It's why she won't go to MSU, its 90min away. Not trying to brag, but she did get a scholarship to UM, nut she wont go there either, it's over 30min away too. I told her to go to UM because of how great of a school it is and how great her future would be coming into a job interview with a degree from UM, but she's adamant, 30min or less.
Last edited by Ghostfacefan; 08-14-2014 at 02:01 PM..
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