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When my son was a toddler but old enough to be communicating, I started playing a food game with him, that honestly, you could play with your kids at any age.
I'd choose a time of day when he had an appetite, but wasn't starving, and then I would get out a tray with different types of food, sweet, savory, tart, etc. and different textures and even different temperatures sometimes. Then we would have a little taste of each food. I would go first, and I would explain the tastes and sensations to him. I would say, this is very sour, and juicy, and whatever other descriptive words (not words like delicious, yummy, tasty) that came to mind. Then he would want a little taste.
He was curious, and it was fun, and it was a game with NO pressure for him to eat any of it. If he really didn't like something, he could spit it onto a napkin, have a drink of water and move on.
This was enormously helpful for both of us, as he learned a vocabulary to describe food and could better articulate a like or dislike for a particular food, and I learned more about his sensitivities and tastes.
Many parents can attest to how frustrating it is for a kid to say, "I hate this! I don't like it!" but they can't tell you why other than, "It tastes yucky," so it's a great way for kids to actually learn how to communicate about food with you and to also analyze the food they are eating and what they like or dislike about it.
All people have food preferences whether they are 3 or 30. If you offer a variety of healthy options and let the child pick between the healthy options he will eventually learn to eat a healthy variety of foods. If you don't offer chicken nuggets your child won't know they are an option.
He will still have food preferences. I don't consider myself picky but I don't like beets or hot dogs so I don't eat them. Other people can eat them. I don't think this is a big deal. People have food preferences and toddlers are people.
In our house I always make one meal. The kids can eat what they like and skip what they don't like. Two of them are adults and the other is 15 but this has always been the way we do things. If I make asparagus and someone doesn't like it, they don't have to eat it. Since I am aware of their food preferences I try not to make an entire meal of things that one person doesn't like. As the kids got older they were free to fix something different for themselves if they wanted but I never functioned as a short order cook. I don't see it as a necessity for people to simply eat what is put in front of them. If someone doesn't like something they don't have to eat it. There is no fuss over how many bites someone eats, or any other nonsense.
We don't fight over food. None of the kids are fat or suffering from nutritional deficiencies. Additionally, they still enjoy eating with us even as teens/young adults since family meals were always pleasant and drama free.
I don't think anyone in this thread is advocating that kind of extreme case. I did say that my kids had to eat their tiny portions before they left the table, but it never got close to the case you are describing. Maybe we were just lucky?
I do know that if my kids had a palate as limited as yours or some others that have been described, I would be taking them to a doctor or psychologist to try to find out what was going on. If you view a nut or a leafy green on the level of a live, squirming grub, you have some serious underlying issue. Maybe therapy would help/would have helped.
Don't bet that some here think a plate of food is a hill to die on and would starve a toddler to prove their point.
I once didn't eat for 3 days as a child because my father insisted I be served the same plate of liver and asparagus for each meal. My great grandmother finally stepped in when he was going to make me have it for thanksgiving dinner.
All people have food preferences whether they are 3 or 30. If you offer a variety of healthy options and let the child pick between the healthy options he will eventually learn to eat a healthy variety of foods. If you don't offer chicken nuggets your child won't know they are an option.
He will still have food preferences. I don't consider myself picky but I don't like beets or hot dogs so I don't eat them. Other people can eat them. I don't think this is a big deal. People have food preferences and toddlers are people.
In our house I always make one meal. The kids can eat what they like and skip what they don't like. Two of them are adults and the other is 15 but this has always been the way we do things. If I make asparagus and someone doesn't like it, they don't have to eat it. Since I am aware of their food preferences I try not to make an entire meal of things that one person doesn't like. As the kids got older they were free to fix something different for themselves if they wanted but I never functioned as a short order cook. I don't see it as a necessity for people to simply eat what is put in front of them. If someone doesn't like something they don't have to eat it. There is no fuss over how many bites someone eats, or any other nonsense.
We don't fight over food. None of the kids are fat or suffering from nutritional deficiencies. Additionally, they still enjoy eating with us even as teens/young adults since family meals were always pleasant and drama free.
Many parents see "teaching their child who's boss" to be a good thing. I don't but don't be surprised to see this attitude.
No, I'm not...and sometimes it's necessary to be the boss of the kid. Often, actually, especially in the toddler years. Parents must be parents. Set limits and boundaries, and enforce them. I do get that of course. I didn't let my kids run wild in public for instance. I don't let them tell me what I'm cooking for dinner, either.
It's as they get a little older that I feel it's good to have a little respect for their likes and dislikes. Again, not to the point of being a short order cook or letting them dictate what is made for dinner, but for an 8 year old to sit for hours at a table or be served the same plate repeatedly because parents think that pickiness MUST be corrected, and it's a battle that MUST be fought...my family's harmony was demolished night after night for this when I was growing up. No way am I doing that. Nope. Don't let my husband do it either, even though he'd like to. He's threatened to throw my youngest son's uneaten food in his bed before. I've had to talk him down from his frustrations, it is SO not worth getting that upset about in my opinion. Just. Not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by saibot
I don't think anyone in this thread is advocating that kind of extreme case. I did say that my kids had to eat their tiny portions before they left the table, but it never got close to the case you are describing. Maybe we were just lucky?
I do know that if my kids had a palate as limited as yours or some others that have been described, I would be taking them to a doctor or psychologist to try to find out what was going on. If you view a nut or a leafy green on the level of a live, squirming grub, you have some serious underlying issue. Maybe therapy would help/would have helped.
I was just trying to make the point to some who say that if a child is hungry enough they'll eat anything, that I'd have to be way hungrier than it's OK to let a kid be, in order to eat some things.
And for crying out loud, therapy? I do not require a physician to "fix" me so that I'm more "normal." No one in my household is malnourished, overweight, have eating disorders, are in any manner unhealthy as far as our nutrition. Believe it or not, the way we're doing is working out fine. Does that make it right for everyone? Of course not! But it's alright for me. I can't imagine going to therapy just because I'm not more like the majority of people, if I'm happy and healthy. That makes no sense to me. Sorry if I'm defensive about this--it's partially because I love weird, quirky, creative people, and most of us had parents who at least considered getting a doctor to force us to be "normal" somehow. Ugh...horrid. I'm not into therapy unless someone is suffering or dysfunctional and needs it.
By the way, if I had something to work through in therapy it might be how stressful almost every dinner meal was for years growing up, and how to this day I'm really not interested in sit-down dinners with my own family and in fact don't like preparing and serving meals. I am not hatefully averse to it, just have no desire to do it. My family sits at the same table for a dinner only a few times a year, unless we're eating out at a restaurant.
Here's a question: Why are non-picky people so offended by picky people, I would like to know? Why does it actually have to be such a big deal? Even in nations where there is such plentiful food that we have a major obesity problem, and with the reality that ya know, a kid not eating his dinner isn't depriving some other kid of a meal. It would not have otherwise been shipped to a third world country, you know? I've never understood why pickiness is SO offensive to many.
And for crying out loud, therapy? I do not require a physician to "fix" me so that I'm more "normal." No one in my household is malnourished, overweight, have eating disorders, are in any manner unhealthy as far as our nutrition. Believe it or not, the way we're doing is working out fine. Does that make it right for everyone? Of course not! But it's alright for me. I can't imagine going to therapy just because I'm not more like the majority of people, if I'm happy and healthy. That makes no sense to me.
Look, I don't care what you eat or don't eat, it's nothing to me. If you're happy the way you are, great! However, in your previous post you gave a laundry list of common, normal foods that make you feel like vomiting, said it was probably a physiological or neurological issue, and added that you wished you weren't this way, so you are now making slightly contradictory statements.
It is a logical conclusion that you have some kind of disorder, perhaps a sensory processing disorder. If you were my child and exhibiting these behaviors, yes, I would take you to a doctor and possibly a therapist. This field has advanced a lot in recent years and there are effective ways of treatment that do not involve starving a child, or leaving him for hours in front of a plate of food s/he detests. I agree that neither of these methods is likely to help at all in the case of a genuine disorder.
My toddler is starting to become a picky eater, how can I help him eat healthier options?
My son would go for five months out-eating me and then cruise for five months and eat like a bird.
He was more in tune to his body than I was, so I'd watch his growth. Growth is often in spurts.
Note his activity level; the faster the growth the more active to body. All those molecules running around.
He's now slim, tall, with nary an ounce of fat. And just loves his fruit and veg. even though he comes from a crowd of meat eaters. Go figure. Everyone is different.
Last edited by thedwightguy; 10-15-2014 at 05:56 PM..
Reason: spelling
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It could depend on his growth curve
