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Old 10-22-2014, 01:35 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,103,864 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Co Sign View Post
I think children/teens may receive an allowance if they complete chores without being constantly reminded. I like to tie in attitude as well as chores because I feel both are vital to developing good character. I do not like providing an allowance for the sole reason of money management because so many teens and young adults seem to have developed a gimme-gimme attitude. What are your thoughts on this?
My Brother and I survived childhood and the teenage years without an allowance and had chores to do daily so I don't think anyone should be getting an allowance for chores they need to be doing anyway.

We started having money when we mowed other's lawns when we were younger then got jobs when we were older.

Paying children to do chores they need to do anyway is like paying someone to be your friend, not a good idea.
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Old 10-22-2014, 03:46 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,831,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zenapple View Post
In our house, we wouldn't pay for a good report card. Education is a gift and privilege and we value learning for the sake of learning. I'm not snarking, or being holier-than-thou here. I'm just saying that different people hold different things worthy of monetary reward, I guess... We also don't get birthday or holiday money for kids. They get a few presents.
We didn't give money for birthdays and holidays, but extended family and friends often gave cards with money on those occasions. Your feeling about report cards is how many of us feel about paying for chores, and your position on report cards makes sense too.
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Old 10-22-2014, 05:35 PM
 
151 posts, read 183,267 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It was obvious you don't have children, but I checked your profile to be sure. Children can experience free will and spending on non-necessities without having a daily or weekly allowance. Their free choice and latitude doesn't need to be a daily or weekly event. Allowance isn't necessary for this experience. Children can save money they get from birthdays, holidays, report cards, or any other event a parent choses for that purpose.
What planet are you from?

Forget the sarcasm in my bio. (That's an inside joke.) If you had taken the time to actually read what I posted IN THIS THREAD, or had the perspicacity to grasp the gist of what I said, herein, then you would already be aware that I certainly do have a son; and he's been very well raised.

In reply to your most recent remarks I wonder how you would like to have to rely upon handouts and gifts for your daily bread? (Doesn't sound like too much fun; does it!)

Perhaps you should stick to animal rescue where your posts indicate that you're capable of doing a much better job. You're opinions on child-rearing appear to be unusually close-minded; I certainly don't envy anyone who might be stuck, 'under your thumb'.

Last edited by Delaware Davy; 10-22-2014 at 06:10 PM..
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:00 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,831,238 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaware Davy View Post
What planet are you from?

If you had taken the time to actually read what I posted, or had the perspicacity to grasp the gist of what I said, then, you would already be aware that I certainly do have a son; and he's been very well raised.
Interesting. Your profile says: Children: None To Speak Of.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaware Davy View Post
I wonder how would you like to have to rely upon handouts and gifts for your daily bread? (Doesn't sound like too much fun; does it!)
My parents didn't give allowance, and it didn't bother me one bit. It didn't bother my children either. They pretty much got whatever they wanted. They never felt cash poor, that's for sure. They got money whenever they needed it, and they made their own purchases. If I had given them an allowance, they would have lost out with that deal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delaware Davy View Post
Perhaps you should stick to animal rescue where your posts indicate that you're capable of doing a much better job. You're opinions on child-rearing appear to be unusually close-minded; I certainly don't envy anyone who might be stuck, 'under your thumb'.
Close-minded? That's funny. Children don't need to be given a set amount of money weekly to be independent thinkers with freedom to make decisions. My children are very creative, talented adults who both pursued extremely unique careers. When they each told me what they wanted to do, I said GO FOR IT. My sisters gave me hell and told me I should have insisted they stick to a traditional path. I'm the least conservative parent of everyone I know, and I know many people.
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Old 10-22-2014, 07:07 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,253,323 times
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it is not true that children receive an allowance for nothing, where do you think that billions of drug purchase money comes from? starbucks workers? center center cocaine parties?
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Old 10-22-2014, 08:28 PM
 
Location: The Midwest
2,966 posts, read 3,906,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
it is not true that children receive an allowance for nothing, where do you think that billions of drug purchase money comes from? starbucks workers? center center cocaine parties?
No, it comes from government handouts. That's what the Bible told me, at least.
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Old 10-22-2014, 10:36 PM
 
5,413 posts, read 6,683,830 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
it is not true that children receive an allowance for nothing, where do you think that billions of drug purchase money comes from? starbucks workers? center center cocaine parties?
You really think that someone that works doesn't do drugs simply because they work? I am sure some teens use allowance money for drugs....no matter if it's earned or unearned.....and I am sure that plenty use money they get from jobs as well.
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:41 AM
 
151 posts, read 183,267 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
....... My parents didn't give allowance, and it didn't bother me one bit. It didn't bother my children either. They pretty much got whatever they wanted. They never felt cash poor, that's for sure. They got money whenever they needed it, and they made their own purchases. If I had given them an allowance, they would have lost out with that deal.
Yes, I already knew this. The transactional proviso? Your children got money whenever they needed it, and they were able to make their own purchases AS LONG AS THEY ASKED, 'MOMMY'. (Isn't that right!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Close-minded? That's funny. Children don't need to be given a set amount of money weekly to be independent thinkers with freedom to make decisions. My children are very creative, talented adults who both pursued extremely unique careers. When they each told me what they wanted to do, I said GO FOR IT. My sisters gave me hell and told me I should have insisted they stick to a traditional path. I'm the least conservative parent of everyone I know, and I know many people.
The gist of what I would put across has little or nothing to do with, 'independent thinking'. That's abstract to this discussion. A child - an emotionally secure child - needs: guidance, self-respect, and progressively increased opportunities to prove himself to those he loves. Penniless children are, I am certain, going to get plenty of guidance; but it's going to be difficult for such children to learn how to make better and better personal decisions. (If, in fact, they're able to make any real progress at all!)

A child's developing, 'sense of self' is closely associated with his personal awareness of being trusted - of being allowed - to rely, more and more, upon his own instincts and rational decisions. (You give a child a, 'game plan' like, say, the Ten Commandments; and, then, you step back and allow him sufficient behavioral latitude in order to observe how well, or not, he's able to, 'play by the rules'.)

An enforced necessity to run to a parent for nearly everything is, in no way, going to help a developing intellect to feel any sort of incipient (actually independent) self-satisfaction. Hence the child's self-image will suffer; and, whether you are willing to admit it or not, it's this sort of low self-esteem and lack of opportunity to, 'prove self to self' that can cause a child to become excessively dependent upon a parent and, consequently, a poor decision maker.

(You know, like having a predisposition to make a bizarre career choice. I can't help, but, feel that with the next 30 to 40 years in the balance and much of modern western civilization in, 'economic free fall' something important seems to be missing there?)

Well, enough of this. I think it's time, now, to move onto the next profound life-question. Something like, 'Is it possible to train a puppy to jump through hoops without using food treats?'
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Old 10-23-2014, 08:09 AM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,682,573 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Co Sign View Post
I think children/teens may receive an allowance if they complete chores without being constantly reminded. I like to tie in attitude as well as chores because I feel both are vital to developing good character. I do not like providing an allowance for the sole reason of money management because so many teens and young adults seem to have developed a gimme-gimme attitude. What are your thoughts on this?
Depends on what lessons you want them to learn. You method would definitely put the focus on work as being the most important thing.

In our family, kids got allowance (including a clothing allowance) because they are members of the family and all members of the family have responsibilities and rights just for being members of the family. It is important that my kids know they have to do something just because they are members of a family and not because they are getting compensated for it monetarily.

For example, my daughter had to stop every Thursday morning before heading to school to take her grandmothers garbage out. This HAD to happen, and if she were getting paid, she could choose NOT to do it and just skip getting paid. She also had to take her to the pharmacy after school twice a month. These are familial responsibilities that are more important than any financial compensation. Same with walking the dog, feeding her pets, and a whole bunch of other things. I worry that attaching money takes away the notion that there are responsibilities just by being in a family. I also giving a small strings free allowance also teaches that rights and responsibility are tied.

So OP what are you going to do if/when your kids choose to just not do chores when they have after school jobs or just don't need the money?
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Old 10-23-2014, 08:15 AM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,682,573 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Co Sign View Post
Its not about paying them for the work they did, but teaching them how the real world works. You get nothing for free and if you want something, then work for it or you aint getting anything for free
And how does the role of family and relationships work into this "world view" of yours?

Do you really do nothing for no one without financial compensations? Does your family participate in volunteerism? Charity? If you can't get your children to participate in maintaining the family home without paying them, what are you teaching them about the importance on the family?
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