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So my husband has some serious baby rabies. I want kids too, but I'm concerned that we're not prepared enough to have a baby right now.
I'm 24, he's turning 30 in two weeks. Together, we'll have $45K saved up by the end of this year. No debt. He earns $100K a year, I earn only $40K (I work with non-profits and love my job, but there are drawbacks such as this lol).
I think we should have at least $100K-200K saved up before starting a family, because babies are expensive. What if something goes wrong, in my pregnancy, delivery, or with any of us healthwise? We have insurance, but what if it doesn't cover everything in an emergency?
Also, what if I have to take time off work because of debilitating morning sickness during pregnancy (my mother had it really bad with me), or because I can barely move towards the end of the 3rd trimester due to aches and being too bloated with an enormous baby bump to do anything but roll? lololol. (I was 11lbs at birth)
And hubby wants me to stay home with the baby until it's school age. So I may not be able to contribute much once I get pregnant. I'll try to work from home, but legit work from home jobs are hard to find.
For that, I think we need to be much more prepared before having a baby. I don't want us to be unable to provide for the child. Hubby thinks we'll be just fine, but I want to make sure we plan things responsibly.
How much do you parents estimate would be a good goal to save up BEFORE conceiving?
Babies don't have to be that expensive, and if you end up with big medical bills, those can be paid off over time and negotiated with the hospital.
It sounds like maybe you're not ready to have a baby yet and you're hoping the finances will be an excuse. Why don't you try living off his salary for the next year and putting yours in the bank? Then you'll have double the savings that you have now, plus you'll know if you can manage on his salary alone, while you're home with the baby.
The most expensive thing about pregnancy is infertility treatment, and fertility decreases with age, so if you put this off for ten years until you're sitting on a nice nest egg, it might be that much more difficult to get pregnant. This is one of those things to get out of the way while you're young...I had my kids when I was around your age and I'm glad, because it takes me longer now to heal than it did when I was younger.
Babies don't have to be that expensive, and if you end up with big medical bills, those can be paid off over time and negotiated with the hospital.
It sounds like maybe you're not ready to have a baby yet and you're hoping the finances will be an excuse. Why don't you try living off his salary for the next year and putting yours in the bank? Then you'll have double the savings that you have now, plus you'll know if you can manage on his salary alone, while you're home with the baby.
The most expensive thing about pregnancy is infertility treatment, and fertility decreases with age, so if you put this off for ten years until you're sitting on a nice nest egg, it might be that much more difficult to get pregnant. This is one of those things to get out of the way while you're young...I had my kids when I was around your age and I'm glad, because it takes me longer now to heal than it did when I was younger.
This is a good idea, and we're effectively doing this right now. (He just started his job last year, his first job ever).
Another more selfish consideration is that I know that after baby, it's going to be exponentially harder to go on travel journeys abroad -- I really want to go on an African safari (an ethically conducted one of course), and go to Antarctica. These are not cheap. The safari for both of us will be around $8,000 total, and Antarctica will end up being around $16,000. So let's say $25,000 total for the trips.
Basically, we have to do all this next year...because if we don't do these now, by the time we have the chance again, Antarctica will be melted to oblivion, and wild lions will be extinct!
Get your traveling, education, steady job, and house out of the way first. My wife and I took a year off to go around the world, then we got our postgraduate degrees, then I secured a steady job in a little beach town we fell in love with during our travels. We bought the house while she was pregnant.
Then, surprise! Twins.
I still haven't done anything but the most basic of emergency maintenance on the house. Getting any major life changes done with the kids would be... Well, possible, but it would mean sticking them in daycare, shipping them off to relatives, or just losing time with them in general; time we'd never get back. Our parents had to deal with situations like that. While we turned out fine in the end, hearing them talk about how they regret that lost time makes us feel very fortunate we aren't facing the same tough choices they did.
So my vote is for you to get your ducks in a row first before kids. As for money: get your husband on the best family health care plan offered by his employer, then save a year's worth of expenses, and plan to spend the out of pocket maximum on your insurance ( for family, not just you--once the kids are born, the start wracking up their own individual expenses immediately).
This is a good idea, and we're effectively doing this right now. (He just started his job last year, his first job ever).
Another more selfish consideration is that I know that after baby, it's going to be exponentially harder to go on travel journeys abroad -- I really want to go on an African safari (an ethically conducted one of course), and go to Antarctica. These are not cheap. The safari for both of us will be around $8,000 total, and Antarctica will end up being around $16,000. So let's say $25,000 total for the trips.
Basically, we have to do all this next year...because if we don't do these now, by the time we have the chance again, Antarctica will be melted to oblivion, and wild lions will be extinct!
You just confirmed what Hedgehog_Mom said. Don't have this baby because you're not ready.
If you want a numeric value, we were in a similar income bracket and we held back 65K after our house down payment, and out of pocket maximum. Our expenses are about 50K a year including the twins, us, mortgage, and college savings (our third biggest "cost" even though they are still infants!)
Since you are 24\30 no huge rush. You've got 3 years before your eggs start degrading, and 10 before it becomes critical. Male side isn't as well studied, but his genetics are probably good at least to 35 or so before the sperm DNA starts becoming seriously degraded and puts you at risk for major disabilities in your offspring.
Since the OP lives in a high cost of living area, she'll need more money saved than couples in low cost of living areas. But it's clear she's not ready to have a baby. While her husband might be 30, she's only 24 and she has many other things she'd like to do first.
There is disability insurance you can buy prior to conceiving that will protect you from lost income due to pregnancy complications, and California has maternity leave laws that provide a few weeks of paid time off. If you want more coverage than that, you'll need to research what type of insurance policies are available to California residents. It's important you purchase any of these insurances before trying to conceive.
Since you plan to be a SAHM, you really should just start living off of his income going forward and banking your income. To get a really good idea of what it will be like financially to have a child, live off of his salary while also saving monthly child expenses from his salary because that money will be spent after having a baby. As a result, I recommend you research how much children cost each month (minus child care since you'll be a SAHM and minus housing if you already own a house big enough) along with any lifestyle expenses you will want to have as a SAHM, such as a gym membership or whatever. Deduct that amount from his monthly check and put it in savings and live off of the rest of his income. It will be tight but it will be doable. Ask your husband to live it for a year and promise to revisit the discussion after the year is over.
So my husband has some serious baby rabies. I want kids too, but I'm concerned that we're not prepared enough to have a baby right now.
I'm 24, he's turning 30 in two weeks. Together, we'll have $45K saved up by the end of this year. No debt. He earns $100K a year, I earn only $40K (I work with non-profits and love my job, but there are drawbacks such as this lol).
I think we should have at least $100K-200K saved up before starting a family, because babies are expensive. What if something goes wrong, in my pregnancy, delivery, or with any of us healthwise? We have insurance, but what if it doesn't cover everything in an emergency?
Also, what if I have to take time off work because of debilitating morning sickness during pregnancy (my mother had it really bad with me), or because I can barely move towards the end of the 3rd trimester due to aches and being too bloated with an enormous baby bump to do anything but roll? lololol. (I was 11lbs at birth)
And hubby wants me to stay home with the baby until it's school age. So I may not be able to contribute much once I get pregnant. I'll try to work from home, but legit work from home jobs are hard to find.
For that, I think we need to be much more prepared before having a baby. I don't want us to be unable to provide for the child. Hubby thinks we'll be just fine, but I want to make sure we plan things responsibly.
How much do you parents estimate would be a good goal to save up BEFORE conceiving?
Edit: I thought you were 30 and he was 24. That changes my answer. You have a lot more saved up than a lot of people do, but you are young. You have time. Save a little more and find ways to cut your spending so you can easily live on your husband's salary. You don't want to dip into savings for living expenses.
So my husband has some serious baby rabies. I want kids too, but I'm concerned that we're not prepared enough to have a baby right now.
I'm 24, he's turning 30 in two weeks. Together, we'll have $45K saved up by the end of this year. No debt. He earns $100K a year, I earn only $40K (I work with non-profits and love my job, but there are drawbacks such as this lol).
I think we should have at least $100K-200K saved up before starting a family, because babies are expensive. What if something goes wrong, in my pregnancy, delivery, or with any of us healthwise? We have insurance, but what if it doesn't cover everything in an emergency?
Also, what if I have to take time off work because of debilitating morning sickness during pregnancy (my mother had it really bad with me), or because I can barely move towards the end of the 3rd trimester due to aches and being too bloated with an enormous baby bump to do anything but roll? lololol. (I was 11lbs at birth)
And hubby wants me to stay home with the baby until it's school age. So I may not be able to contribute much once I get pregnant. I'll try to work from home, but legit work from home jobs are hard to find.
For that, I think we need to be much more prepared before having a baby. I don't want us to be unable to provide for the child. Hubby thinks we'll be just fine, but I want to make sure we plan things responsibly.
How much do you parents estimate would be a good goal to save up BEFORE conceiving?
I think a LOT has to do with salaries as well - - plus standard of living. If you live in San Francisco, I'm guessing you're paying a lot for housing, which could be a major factor in deciding.
My wife and I have some debt and didn't have a lot of saved money - - but we both have good paying jobs and aren't overly free with our money. It has been no problem at all (although this is with a healthy child). We've had to be more frugal in some areas (I have a car with 200,000 miles on it and will try to keep it until my son is out of daycare) but on a month-to-month basis, we're not noticing much of a difference in our bank account. It can be done.
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