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I agree with this. It's not normal at all. What's happening isn't healthy. I just feel the OP might have had an issue with cuddling when the boy was younger, and that might and contributed to his overly focusing his attention on his mother to compete with his step father in this regard. It's common for stepchildren to compete with their stepparents in many different ways. I have no advice to the OP except for him to evaluate how his prior reactions might have inspired his stepson undermine their marriage in this manner. If the wife won't do marriage counseling or family counseling, perhaps the OP would benefit from going to counseling on his own for assistance in determining if he wants to remain married or divorce.
Had no issues with cuddling as a younger child... My behavior was age appropriate... still hug and kiss my mom and dad (in their 70s), my son and daughter (in their mid twenties)... but they are brief actions. Most of you would think it weird if a hug lasted half a minute, even if came from your teen, unless there were extenuating circumstances... be truthful...
Most of you would think it weird if a hug lasted half a minute, even if came from your teen, unless there were extenuating circumstances... be truthful...
We are all agreeing with you, stepdad, that the behavior is inappropriate.
Chances are this isn't even true...someone's getting their fantasy on!
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Originally Posted by badstepdad
Unfortunately this is true...
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Originally Posted by Luvvarkansas
I think they meant you are making all this up to get your fantasy on.
(apologize if I'm wrong)
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Originally Posted by badstepdad
apology accepted... a lot of issues past eleven years...
Actually, I was apologizing to the person who said that (ScarletG), in case I was wrong about what I thought they were saying.....but someone always ends up saying, "This story probably isn't even true" whenever a strange and involved situation is posted by someone.
Actually, I was apologizing to the person who said that (ScarletG), in case I was wrong about what I thought they were saying.....but someone always ends up saying, "This story probably isn't even true" whenever a strange and involved situation is posted by someone.
Why is your stepdaughter different than the OP's stepson. His mother raised him herself. Why is it okay for a teen girl to cuddle with her father but not a teen boy to cuddle with his mother?
Here's what I think is going on. I'll bet the son and mother had a normal cuddle relationship. At some point, you decided it was inappropriate long before it was inappropriate. They are retaliating. I'm not saying it's healthy, but it seems you may have created this mess by interpreting it as sexual when it wasn't. Now the teen is screwed up and associates sexuality with cuddling with his mother. You and your wife both played a roll in screwing up this child's sexuality.
I don't think it's normal for regular behavior at this age, but it is normal to cuddle with an older teen of the opposite sex in certain circumstances of emotional distress, sickness, etc.. For example, I recall once when my son and I cuddled under a blanket rapped around our shoulders behind us while we sat on the front porch in the middle of the night during a rainstorm because he was talking about problems he was having and we both love rainstorms. It was damn cold. He wasn't snuggled into the front of me or anything. We were pressed close together side by side so we could fit under the big blanket wrapped around us, but I can imagine your mind viewing it as sexual and making a big deal about our sharing a blanket that night if you had seen it.
Snuggling for a few moments or even minutes when sick is not the same as doing it often for long periods of time and putting on a show for other people. Whether it is sexual or not, SOMETHING more is going on here.
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