Family refuses to accept child's disability (method, teaching, parents, activities)

[HappyFarm34]

I was born hearing impaired. From age 2 and on, I wore hearing aids in both ears.

My family assumed just because I wore them I could hear perfectly fine. That was far from the truth. Yes, I could "hear", however, I still had great difficulty understanding what was being said in social situations. When I tried to express my feelings that I couldn't hear, they thought I was lying trying to get my way out of something.

I attended public schooling that had a program that's geared to children who were hearing impaired and deaf. I had an interpreter in all classes.

My family were Catholics. My siblings went to private school. So, I had to attend Sunday school from k-8th grade. HATED it. My parents didn't give a rat's behind that I had difficulty hearing. Even sitting in the front row didn't help much. It would of been fine if I had an interpreter. Mass was the same way. Most boring hour and 15 minutes of my life EVERY week. <yawn>. No intepreter. So, when I was 18, I rebelled and stop going to Church. My dad would always call me a heathen and that I was going to h*ll. for not going trying to make me feel guilty.

I was embarrassed of my hearing loss. It wasn't talked about outside of the immediate family, and eventually stopped expressing what I felt since they'd accuse me of lying.

[willow wind]

Is there a question you're trying to ask or are you simply venting ?.

Your parents are intellectually ignorant and this has nothing do with religion. Was there no counselor or teacher at school who could have explained to them the difficulty the hearing impaired have even with aids. If there was not, that is very unfortunate.

Was there no one who could have printed out info from the internet on the subject and handed it to them, etc. We've been internet immersed for a very long time now.

So now back to the present. You got a bad roll of the dice with the parents you had growing up. At this point in time you are past the age of 18. Time to move beyond your parents. Get out of the house and start to live your own life.

Try not to get stuck in the resentments of the past. Your parents were clueless and may not ever get beyond their thinking. That's their problem. Growing up they made it yours. No more now. Be done with living at home. Find whatever associations or help there is for the hearing impaired. Make friends and connections with people who can understand your situation.

Move out of the house and move on with your life. Minimize greatly the time you spend with your family. They are part of the past -look to the future. If you ever do have to see them and they start in on you about lying, stand up for yourself. Remind them in no uncertain terms that they are wrong, wrong, then get up and leave. They need to understand you will not put up with it. They can't put you down if you're not going to hang around and let them do it.

[Zeurich]

Try to learn lip reading that helps a lot. I have a good friend same as you. She learned lip reading now she answers perfectly fine.

[Pitt Chick]

OP - you are not a child anymore; this has noting to do with religion; I doubt they will change now.

[trishguard]

Originally Posted by HappyFarm34

I was born hearing impaired. From age 2 and on, I wore hearing aids in both ears.

My family assumed just because I wore them I could hear perfectly fine. That was far from the truth. Yes, I could "hear", however, I still had great difficulty understanding what was being said in social situations. When I tried to express my feelings that I couldn't hear, they thought I was lying trying to get my way out of something.

I attended public schooling that had a program that's geared to children who were hearing impaired and deaf. I had an interpreter in all classes.

My family were Catholics. My siblings went to private school. So, I had to attend Sunday school from k-8th grade. HATED it. My parents didn't give a rat's behind that I had difficulty hearing. Even sitting in the front row didn't help much. It would of been fine if I had an interpreter. Mass was the same way. Most boring hour and 15 minutes of my life EVERY week. <yawn>. No intepreter. So, when I was 18, I rebelled and stop going to Church. My dad would always call me a heathen and that I was going to h*ll. for not going trying to make me feel guilty.

I was embarrassed of my hearing loss. It wasn't talked about outside of the immediate family, and eventually stopped expressing what I felt since they'd accuse me of lying.

My grandparents called me a heathen for not going to church too, but I don't have a disability.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by willow wind

Is there a question you're trying to ask or are you simply venting ?.

Your parents are intellectually ignorant and this has nothing do with religion. Was there no counselor or teacher at school who could have explained to them the difficulty the hearing impaired have even with aids. If there was not, that is very unfortunate.
I don't even remember.
Was there no one who could have printed out info from the internet on the subject and handed it to them, etc. We've been internet immersed for a very long time now.
There was no Internet in the 70's, 80's and most of the 90's. I'm 35. They just didn't bother getting actively involved.

So now back to the present. You got a bad roll of the dice with the parents you had growing up. At this point in time you are past the age of 18. Time to move beyond your parents. Get out of the house and start to live your own life.
I don't know how. I've always lived with my parents. I have ssdi and pay them monthly rent
Try not to get stuck in the resentments of the past. Your parents were clueless and may not ever get beyond their thinking. That's their problem. Growing up they made it yours. No more now. Be done with living at home. Find whatever associations or help there is for the hearing impaired. Make friends and connections with people who can understand your situation.

Move out of the house and move on with your life. Minimize greatly the time you spend with your family. They are part of the past -look to the future. If you ever do have to see them and they start in on you about lying, stand up for yourself. Remind them in no uncertain terms that they are wrong, wrong, then get up and leave. They need to understand you will not put up with it. They can't put you down if you're not going to hang around and let them do it.

Originally Posted by Zeurich

Try to learn lip reading that helps a lot. I have a good friend same as you. She learned lip reading now she answers perfectly fine.

Easier said than done. I just happen not to be very good at it

Originally Posted by Pitt Chick

OP - you are not a child anymore; this has noting to do with religion; I doubt they will change now.

NOPE.

[Inkpoe]

OP is clearly not as involved with the Deaf community, calling oneself "hearing impaired" is a huge No-no in the community.

I'm hard of hearing as well, and had the same issues with religion with no interpreting. Given the fact that the OP is 35, the parents mentality fits with the times. Even now, it's not as common for hearing families to learn sign for the deaf child. Lip reading sucks and is very unreliable that Deaf education in the US don't even bother teaching such method, only those that insist on Oral education.

So, OP... Are you venting or is there a question?

[Pitt Chick]

35? Really?
Then the OP needs therapy, in order to move on in life.
No way he/she should be harping like that about parental comments that happened between ages 2 and 18!

I thought a 19-20 year old wrote that....

[CarrieM]

If you are collecting SSDI, you have worked at least some in the past. Go to the Social Security office, tell them you want to work, and ask about programs like PASS and Ticket to Work. Go to your state's vocational rehabilitation office, and ask for their help getting training, or getting work. Go to your state's assistive technology center (every state has one) and ask them about things you can use to help you with any activities of daily living that challenge you.

Once you have an income, you can move out and live on your own. Yes, you have a hearing disability. But there are lots of opportunities available to you.

[HappyFarm34]

Originally Posted by Inkpoe

OP is clearly not as involved with the Deaf community, calling oneself "hearing impaired" is a huge No-no in the community.
How you know??? I'm active now in Deaf community, just started to be about 2 years ago
I'm hard of hearing as well, and had the same issues with religion with no interpreting. Given the fact that the OP is 35, the parents mentality fits with the times. Even now, it's not as common for hearing families to learn sign for the deaf child. Lip reading sucks and is very unreliable that Deaf education in the US don't even bother teaching such method, only those that insist on Oral education.

So, OP... Are you venting or is there a question?

Venting. That's why I'm not a fan of Oral education

Originally Posted by Pitt Chick

35? Really?
Then the OP needs therapy, in order to move on in life.
No way he/she should be harping like that about parental comments that happened between ages 2 and 18!

I thought a 19-20 year old wrote that....

I had kept my feelings bottled up.

Originally Posted by CarrieM

If you are collecting SSDI, you have worked at least some in the past. Go to the Social Security office, tell them you want to work, and ask about programs like PASS and Ticket to Work. Go to your state's vocational rehabilitation office, and ask for their help getting training, or getting work. Go to your state's assistive technology center (every state has one) and ask them about things you can use to help you with any activities of daily living that challenge you.

Once you have an income, you can move out and live on your own. Yes, you have a hearing disability. But there are lots of opportunities available to you.

I don't like dealing with hearing people much. Last 2 jobs I had was treated poorly.