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My daughter 30 had a child two years ago and they are successful stay at home mom with dad and everything just really good. She went to undergrad with 4 women now also married except for one. They have all been very close through the years except now, the friend says that she is no longer getting the one on one time which she wants and cannot move forward in the relationship. She says she understands that my daughter is a mom and that takes priority but really does want the relationship to be one to one with phone calls etc which focus on the friend.
I was really quite surprised and my daughter is very realistic that the conclusion reached by her friend is unrealistic and best and selfish at worst. The friend also is quite jealous and is open about this as a reason not to spend time in the now intact daughter's family.
We talked this morning and while we agree I don't really know how to help her separate from her once deep friend who now does not want the relationship if it involves the kid.
I know it's completely weird so I am looking for ways to help my daughter pull back emotionally safely.
Sometimes we grow up, and our friends don't. I'm sure it's difficult for the one friend in the group who isn't married, and she may end up looking for single friends to hang out with. For your daughter, she has the emotional support of her husband and her parents, along with the friendship of the other 3 women in her group.
She should probably just tell her friend that she understands that they're at different points in their lives right now.
Tell your daughter to give it time. Many people have a hard time with change and the friend may change her mind at some point. Even if she doesn't there isn't anything to be done about it. Her choice.
People grow apart, especially when one gets married and has a child and the other doesn't. It's just a red flag if she is jealous about the baby. It happened to me with my best friend...and I had been helping her with her kids for years. Once the baby was here, she was psyched and into him big time. But then when #2 was in the works, she did it again. I didn't have time for her after that. What grown up is jealous of a baby?
I'm win hope, some people grow up and some don't.
The friend sounds fickle. I wonder if this is a pattern of hers on other levels through the friendship?
My sister gave me good advice and told me to not write someone off permanently over drifting apart over things like this. Eventually, their lives catch up, sometimes decades later, and they want to reconnect. I've had friends I only saw occasionally through the years who ended up dear friends again later in life when they matured or their lives were more in line with where I was at. So, there's really no reason to officially end it. Your daughter can simply tell her this is where her life is, she values her friendship, and she hopes they can be close again someday. Put her on the Christmas card list, still keep her as a facebook friend, and let life takes its course.
This happens often; has happened to me and almost everyone I know actually. Life takes us different directions and for some women who don't have children, they don't understand how or why a child becomes the center of your world. Some friendships were meant to be only for a season of our lives, that's just how it is.
My sister gave me good advice and told me to not write someone off permanently over drifting apart over things like this. Eventually, their lives catch up, sometimes decades later, and they want to reconnect. I've had friends I only saw occasionally through the years who ended up dear friends again later in life when they matured or their lives were more in line with where I was at. So, there's really no reason to officially end it. Your daughter can simply tell her this is where her life is, she values her friendship, and she hopes they can be close again someday. Put her on the Christmas card list, still keep her as a facebook friend, and let life takes its course.
Should have read replies first, this is it exactly.
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