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When I was two, my 19-year-old auntie died in a car wreck. My grandfather passed away suddenly on a vacation about a decade later. My grandmother ALWAYS told us she loved us in every conversation, and when my younger cousins were at her house when they were babies, "I love you" was the first sentence she taught them. We were big on the hugging and the kissing. Even when I talk with my adult cousins today, we end our conversations with a "Bye. Love you." and hugging and often kisses on the cheek.
Basically, we all knew from an early age that you might never see your loved one again after they walked out the door, so you should make sure you tell them you love them. In fact, those were my grandmother's last words to me before she slipped into a coma. (Actually, she awakened partially from her semi-comatose state, essentially yelled "JrzDefector, I love you!" flopped back down and didn't speak again during my last visit.)
The hugs, the kisses, the "I love yous" are all important. But unless a child sees that as commonplace, they're not going to want to express themselves that way - it's putting them on the spot and kind of making them do tricks to ask them to do that. We are a demonstrative family, and so the children in our family have always been demonstrative. There was no need to push them into demonstrating affection because it was our norm.
I went with one of my exes to visit his child at the mother's house. The mother insisted that her child should greet me with a kiss, even though he had never met me before. I was very uncomfortable with that - it seemed a violation of the kid's boundaries. Like I said, we are a demonstrative family, but that was with family, not strangers.
My kids have always decided who they wanted to hug or not. They don't hug their grandparents anymore since the grandparents quit showering. They don't hug my sister's boyfriend.
My 9 year old is funny about it, she'll put a hand out to shake and if they reach for a hug, she says, "Nope, sorry, that's all you're going to get."
My mom used to make us hug a variety of pseudo-relatives and people from church. Not my thing at all.
Hugs and kisses are natural reactions to people you love. If a relative is seen only a few times a year, and are practically strangers, there's no way a kid is going to feel comfortable hugging them, and I wouldn't force it. I would insist on them greeting the relative and being pleasant. That's just good manners.
My own grandchildren fly into my arms when I see them, but that's only because we have a close and loving bond. It's genuine, and I love it. If the day comes where they don't feel comfortable doing that, I wouldn't expect their parents to force them to. A forced hug does no one any good since it isn't coming from the heart.
I don't force it. My kid is really uncomfortable with hugging, or even talking to, someone she doesn't know really really well. She's only just started to feel comfortable enough to talk to her grandad on skype so no way would I force her to hug him when we visit.
Growing up, my mom would tell me that I needed to hug my Grandparents and relatives so their feelings wouldn't get hurt. Even the relatives I only saw maybe 1-2x a year.
I HATED it. To me when I was growing up, it just felt weird and me uncomfortable especially when I was going through puberty. I felt like my personal space was being violated.
At home, you can see where I'm coming from... My parents rarely, if ever hugged each other, showed any affectrion towards one another, or even say things like "I Love You". The same with me and my siblings. My father NEVER hugged us, NEVER showed us affection or say "I Love you". It was living in a very emotionally distanced home. I had someone tell me at least you had a father....Yes, but he was never a dad, very uninvolved and left all the parental responsiblities onto my mother.
So, as a child and teen, it made it very awkward being told to hug them when I didn't want to. I just didn't get it that I never hugged my parents but had to hug my Grandparents & relatives
When I turned an adult, I still hugged them when I saw them out of spite to avoid my mother getting mad at me. Then I decided to stand up for myself and just didn't go to family gatherings and such...Anything to avoid my relatives. And my mom say I'm cold and heartless. There's an old saying that goes...If you have to force love, then it's probably crap.". Sooo true.
I feel for the OP. I swear we must have been raised in the same household. Although, my mom took it several steps further by also forcing me to TALK to distant friends/relatives on the phone! Some of which I've never met! It annoyed the crap out of me. She still does this whenever I visit her! I would never put my son in such an uncomfortable position. Ugh.
I think this works both ways. If you don't want to hug someone, you won't enjoy it. The person receiving it gives back. Do they enjoy the hug? If so, you will probably feel it, then feel better about delivering the next hug. KWIM? then it grows.
If they don't want to be hugged, but they are only doing so out of obligation, you will probably feel that, too.
So maybe the OPs relatives didn't enjoy getting hugged any more than she did. Maybe if they really liked it, she would have warmed up to them/the idea.
I hugged my dad's mom out of obligation. Never was told to do it, but felt I should. It was never comfortable or cozy. She was not a snuggler or at all warm with children. When we turned 18, she suddenly became much more natural with each of us. I think she just didn't like kids much. On my mom's side, there were definitely genuine hugs going on.
There is pretty complex body language involved in the giving and receiving of hugs, and I'm always careful to try to match what the other person wants.
And no, never forced my kids to hug. They actually have asked me about this sometimes because they noticed that whole body language thing. They are both very perceptive.
I think it used to be more common a few decades ago. From family to old ladies at church, I remember it being common to hug and kiss against your will.
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Although, my mom took it several steps further by also forcing me to TALK to distant friends/relatives on the phone! Some of which I've never met! 
It annoyed the crap out of me. She still does this whenever I visit her! 
I would never put my son in such an uncomfortable position. Ugh.
