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Old 11-26-2014, 08:57 AM
 
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A close family member of mine had a baby a while ago.

We must go over their place for all holidays even though they have a small place because they don't like to remove the baby from there.

Anyway, the baby has regimented nap times and if we are there when it is nap time, we must keep quiet and essentially not speak during that whole time.

I feel this is kind of extreme since these types of visits only occur once every two months or so.

Is it so bad if the kid misses one nap out of the first 3 years of his life or we wake him up a few times? He's already over one. Seriously, I don't even remember anything from the first 5 years of my life.
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Old 11-26-2014, 09:00 AM
 
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Yes...some kids reallly do need such a strict regime. ...others not much....and yes sometimes the parents are a bit off their rockers.

It's impossible to say from what you've posted and it has nothing to do with the fact the child won't remember the time.
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Old 11-26-2014, 09:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
Is it so bad if the kid misses one nap out of the first 3 years of his life or we wake him up a few times? He's already over one. Seriously, I don't even remember anything from the first 5 years of my life.
Actually if a child is too tired to stay awake, he is going to take a nap even if a train is passing by right beside him (at least mine does). The nap maynot last as long as his regular nap-time but he/she will nap enough to refuel. Of course you can expect a slightly cranky baby but over all, no harm done if he/she misses one nap once in a while.
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Old 11-26-2014, 09:32 AM
 
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I think there are two answers.

1) if something is up with the baby, like a developmental or health problem, then I can see the reason for being very regimented.

2) (what it sounds like) is they need to relax and take a chill pill. Poor kid is going to grow up neurotic.
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Old 11-26-2014, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I think there are two answers.

1) if something is up with the baby, like a developmental or health problem, then I can see the reason for being very regimented.

2) (what it sounds like) is they need to relax and take a chill pill. Poor kid is going to grow up neurotic.
I'm not a parent, but I agree with this.

When my nephew was a newborn my sister and BIL wouldn't take him out of the house at first. I thought they were being a little crazy, but he had been on antibiotics at the hospital and it was February in the coldest winter in our lifetimes. So of course I never said anything to them. Once he was about 2.5 months old they relaxed and started taking him out and now he's out all the time.

Had they refused to leave their house for a year I probably wouldn't have seen them or my nephew much. The no talking during naps seems totally ridiculous to me. I mean, don't they put the baby in his/her room for naps? Most babies I know can sleep through quite a lot of noise anyway.
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Old 11-26-2014, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Finland
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No talking during naps seems way over the top, most babies can sleep through a lot of noise if they're used to sleeping in noise but their baby might be a really bad sleeper and get really grumpy if he doesn't get enough sleep and that's not fun for anyone either. Still, total silence during naps isn't going to do themselves any favours in the long run.
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Old 11-26-2014, 11:39 AM
 
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My first had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep for naps. She would not nap if it was noisy or if she was away from home. And she would be extremely difficult to manage if she didn't get her nap. Hysterical crying. So I was kind of rigid about her nap time and trying to keep things quiet while she was napping. My second could fall asleep anywhere. if she missed a nap she didn't get hysterical. I was never rigid about her naps. Based on my experiences with my kids, I wouldn't judge. Every kid is different and most parents aren't doing things just to be neurotic and rigid (some are but most aren't). They usually have a reason.
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Old 11-26-2014, 12:08 PM
 
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New parents are neurotic and a little idiotic with what they do. Only people worse are childless people who get a puppy and proceed to treat the puppy like it's a child (hey, I like dogs, but I don't need to see a hundred Facebook posts about "puppy's first poop" and how "big man is tired from tug o' war and needs a nap").

Anyway, the kid will get bigger and start to rebel against mom and dad's "structure" and/or they will have another kid. Nothing cures new parent stupidity like a second child.
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Old 11-26-2014, 02:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
We must go over their place for all holidays even though they have a small place because they don't like to remove the baby from there.
Very reasonable. Taking baby out means carrying much more equipment than you humping it over to their place.
Quote:
Anyway, the baby has regimented nap times and if we are there when it is nap time, we must keep quiet and essentially not speak during that whole time.
Very reasonable. Ever tried conversing while baby cries? They are perfectly tuned little speech jammers. I cannot hear my wife shouting from 2 feet away when the little yowler is at max volume. You are going to have NO conversation if that's happening, as opposed to a hushed conversation.

Some babies, if you disrupt their schedule, will return the favor by disrupting yours--usually between 2 and 4AM. The parents are probably more worried about that, than annoying you.

Quote:
I feel this is kind of extreme since these types of visits only occur once every two months or so.
Are they inviting you over and telling you to shut up, or are you inviting yourself over? Who's pushing for these visits?

Your friends have a new priority in their life and you've been bumped down the ladder a rung or seven. Baby is not going anywhere, they are not going to change, so you're going to have to sort your own s--- out.

Quote:
Is it so bad if the kid misses one nap out of the first 3 years of his life or we wake him up a few times? He's already over one. Seriously, I don't even remember anything from the first 5 years of my life.
They are inconveniencing you in favor of their baby. No surprises there. As I stated, you're either going to have to learn to deal with it, or just not go over to visit them anymore. Problem solved.
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Old 11-26-2014, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Leaving fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada
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I would find another family member to host events until they have baby #2. At that point they will probably loosen up and be less regimented.
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