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I always hear moms and dads say things like, "I was spanked as a child but I would NEVER do that to my child" or "My mother was never really involved with my life, so I vow to be a part of my child's life in a big way".
How do you do things differently as a parent? What is a parenting move you learned from your parents that you will definitely copy?
Well I went all in to therapy to begin to heal childhood wounds instead of abusing my kids.
I get mental health care so I am not crazy all over the place
I don't tear them down, and try to lift them up
I don't spank, hit, humiliate, torture, neglect
I don't force my views on them
I encourage a good relationship between my kids instead of playing them against eachother
I don't use them as pawns
Well, there is very little I do like my parents do. If I do anything like them, I will do my best to correct it asap. I also don't do the opposite because the opposite of bad is also bad...at least in parenting.
What I learned--set clear, realistic high expectations.
What I did differently--too much to even think about. My H and I were talking about this very topic recently. We concluded that many of the differences are related to the fact that the world was/is different than when we were children, and we were more financially secure than either sets of parents were. That we were better educated also played into some things we did differently.
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"Just livin' day by day"
(set 23 days ago)
Location: USA
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by not having kids. seriously... my dad was stupid and a wimp. my mom was a complainer, overprotective, controling, critical. Im breaking the cycle be remaining child-free
My parents weren't bad parents, but there is a lot I strive to do differently than they did.
I do not spank.
I do not spend all of my time at home keeping the house spotless to the exclusion of family time.
I married someone who is more of an equal partner in taking care of the home and children.
There are more things I'd make a point of doing if I had daughters, but I don't.
"By not having kids. Seriously. My dad was stupid and a whimp. My mom was a complainer; overprotective, controlling and critical. I'm breaking the cycle by remaining child-free."
I have no complaints about my parents, but I do not necessarily follow everything they did. I was sent to Catholic school, my sons were free to decide whether or not they had any interest in religion. My parents were much more diligent about knowing where we were and who we were with, I let my kids free-range as long as they acted responsibly. Neither is an indictment of what my parents did with their kids, I'm just much more relaxed about certain things.
Well I went all in to therapy to begin to heal childhood wounds instead of abusing my kids.
I get mental health care so I am not crazy all over the place
I don't tear them down, and try to lift them up
I don't spank, hit, humiliate, torture, neglect
I don't force my views on them
I encourage a good relationship between my kids instead of playing them against eachother
I don't use them as pawns
Well, there is very little I do like my parents do. If I do anything like them, I will do my best to correct it asap. I also don't do the opposite because the opposite of bad is also bad...at least in parenting.
Sounds like your childhood was like mine. My husband's was the same, too. We were worried that we would not be good parents because of the way we were raised, but so far we've done a good job with our kids.
My parents were pretty decent parents so there's not a lot I want to do differently but I don't smack like they did and I'm not raising my child in religion and I expect I'll be a bit more freerange than they were (and they probably would have allowed more freedom too if they raised me and my brothers here instead of the UK)
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