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I have never comprehended why people think they have to spend a ton at Xmas.... Give the older kids $100 and buy the younger ones if they believe in santa a few things they really will use.. NOT what they WANT necessarily.....
Spending a lot on "junk" at Xmas just gives momentary joy and then a bit later just the thought of how much money you spent..
And since we are on the subject of Xmas.. I actually thought it was NOT about how much money you spend or how many presents you buy...
In a bit of a discussion with the wife so I thought I'd take an informal poll here. We each have adult children 25 and 23. I have a high school age child and we jointly have a middle school age child.
In my opinion we should spend no more that say $200 on the adults and about $500 on the younger children. Let's just say wife is not in agreement here and thinks we should spend the same on all of them (and it should be more).
While we have the means to do this I just do not feel it's appropriate. These are grown men, the holidays in my opinion are for children. Not trying to be a scrooge here.
I'm curious in others thoughts here.
I am within the same age range as your kids, and I believe that it would be absurd to spend more than $300 on your kids' gifts. It's way too much.What's even the point of spending that much money on Christmas gifts? Obviously, it should be clear to them at this stage that you're their parents and that you (presumably) care about them deeply.
Personally, I hate it when my parents and other relatives spend too much on Christmas/birthday gifts. Sometimes, if they spend too much (say, more than $50) I even ask them (politely) to return the gifts.
I think it'd be more reasonable to spend between $100 and $200 on all of your kids combined (i.e, $25 to $50 per child).
I have adult stepkids in their 20's. I always buy a few little things like socks and pajamas and chocolates, since I hate just handing over a check, and they usually each get a check for $150. This year we had a windfall so I'll probably give them each $250.
My middle school son I will readily admit I go way overboard. This year I spent close to $800. It's all Legos and dinosaur-related toys and books.
I say "I" because my husband hates Christmas and leaves everything to me. I don't think he's ever asked about budgets because most of the year I'm really frugal. But honestly, my son is such a great, well-behaved kid - kind, does great in school, helpful around the house, into a zillion activities..I just can't help myself this time of year!
In a bit of a discussion with the wife so I thought I'd take an informal poll here. We each have adult children 25 and 23. I have a high school age child and we jointly have a middle school age child.
In my opinion we should spend no more that say $200 on the adults and about $500 on the younger children. Let's just say wife is not in agreement here and thinks we should spend the same on all of them (and it should be more).
While we have the means to do this I just do not feel it's appropriate. These are grown men, the holidays in my opinion are for children. Not trying to be a scrooge here.
I'm curious in others thoughts here.
Are you seriously going to spend that much money on gifts for children and grandchildren?
Our "adult children" get a Christmas Card, only our Grandchildren get a gift and it is minimal and non electronic.
We are the Grandparents that give books, journals, sketch books and pencils, travel games and other things like that and there is no way that we will ever spend $500.00 per grandchild and $200.00 per child.
I didn't say we were going to buy those item only that's what was on his list..
I am glad to hear that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by qingguy
Great feedback from everyone and honestly a couple of the responses remind me of how blessed these kids are and often times they lose sight of that.
I think this is one of the reason my wife does what she does . . . in-fact I know it is. Like I said, the new budget is much better than what the old one was, actually there really wasn't an "old" budget, it was just buy buy buy.
Remember how happy you felt when you received that bike for Christmas? Or when you received new clothes, purchased in a store and not hand-me-downs or home-made? Isn't it sort of sad that your children will never feel the same joy and delight?
Quote:
Originally Posted by qingguy
Talked to wife and we're going to talk to all the kids this year and tell them next year no gifts we'll do a family trip to Hawaii instead and spend time together as a family which we rarely get to do. Made wife promise NO gifts, not even stockings, we'll see if she can do it.
It sounds like it may be very difficult for your wife to keep her promise. Perhaps if you get a few travel books and start planning your trip it will help keep her focused.
And since we are on the subject of Xmas.. I actually thought it was NOT about how much money you spend or how many presents you buy...
BOY was I WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amen!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610
Are you seriously going to spend that much money on gifts for children and grandchildren?
Our "adult children" get a Christmas Card, only our Grandchildren get a gift and it is minimal and non electronic.
We are the Grandparents that give books, journals, sketch books and pencils, travel games and other things like that and there is no way that we will ever spend $500.00 per grandchild and $200.00 per child.
Yes we are. Ever heard the term happy wife happy life LOL. At least I got her to agree to cut back AND consider the family trip next year.
We also purchase educational gifts for the grandson as well. I think we do what we do for him because neither of his parents can and we're also in a much better situation than the other grandparent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626
I am glad to hear that.
Remember how happy you felt when you received that bike for Christmas? Or when you received new clothes, purchased in a store and not hand-me-downs or home-made? Isn't it sort of sad that your children will never feel the same joy and delight?
It sounds like it may be very difficult for your wife to keep her promise. Perhaps if you get a few travel books and start planning your trip it will help keep her focused.
I agree, my kids will never experience that which is a double edged sword. On one hand I'm glad that I've been able to provided a good life for them so they don't have to experience what I experienced when growing up. However the down side to that is that some of them now feel entitled or at least it seems like it by their lists.
Logged on this morning to start looking at flights etc. for next year so we can hit the kids with it this Christmas and unfortunately airline schedules on Expedia only run through October of 2015.
I agree, my kids will never experience that which is a double edged sword. On one hand I'm glad that I've been able to provided a good life for them so they don't have to experience what I experienced when growing up. However the down side to that is that some of them now feel entitled or at least it seems like it by their lists.
I totally get this. Having grown up in poverty, getting anything new was a once a year treat. But it was also painful too because my friends got really cool gifts and I got very small things. My kids don't experience this. We make enough to go all out if we wanted to. For years I did, trying to make up for my own childhood experiences. Now I stick to a similar budget to yours. But...yeah when you can afford clothes when ever the kid needs some, they don't make the best gifts. A $50 xmas would be a let down after years of not doing it that way.
Luckily our oldest didn't grow up entitled, no idea why. I am just more worried about the little ones. This year we will do gifts as usual, but focusing on new and old traditions and joyful times. Maybe that will stick.
Thought of this thread tonight.
My 24 year old is across the country and can't come home for Christmas because of work.
I just texted him and asked for a Christmas List ..
He texted back " What is the budget this year ? "
We have had some lean budget years where it was $50 and no one complained..
This year is $200...
OMG, I guess I am living in the olden days: I can't imagine $200 or $500 per child, adult or kid. No wonder people think Christmas has gotten to commercial. Now, this is what we do and have for a couple of decades. When the kids are adults and earning an income we add them to out "draw name" list, or I guess I should say, exchange name list. We started with a limit of $50 to $75 and now it is $100. This way everyone will get a decent gift, we don't go broke and we don't have to shop til we drop. When our granddaughters were still in college they volunteered to be part of the exchange name list. It has worked well. When the kids are under college age we still buy gifts for them, kids and grandkids. We also do small stocking stuffers with a limit of 3 items per stocking and we keep the price down. Our Christmas bills have gone way down, no more making sure we have the same number of gifts per person and we all get something we really want.
as a single dad , I loved Christmas with my son ..
we would make a "wish list for santa" for which he would tell me what he would like to get
I loved buying him gifts as a kid-supersoakers,,, remote control cars/trucks, rockets ... sleds/toboggans
when he was older- snowmobiles and 4 wheelers
was he spoiled?? well maybe but when I see many on here saying they grew up dirt poor and wondered if theyd get a gift at all,,,thats sad..
when Christmas was magical...I made it memorable
instead of leaving cookies for santa we left cheeseburgers
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