High schoolers paying rent and utility? (daughter, insurance, 13 year old, diapers)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Perhaps this should be another thread, but here goes--
what about asking the teen to contribute towards their medical bills? We pay our kids medical, dental, optical insurance. Usually we also pay the copays, etc. Recently I've begun asking my kids to pay their own copays, or at least pay something towards it.. Both work, and neither puts aside money for college, etc. We even paid for their cars!
The beginning of this school year, I paid for eye exams and also bought dd eyeglasses---paid the deductible. She promptly lost the first set, so I paid for the replacement. In a few weeks, she managed to break the second set. BTW, shes 17, not a little girl! We had an insurance deal where the second set would just be a $50 deductible, but we've used that option. Our insurance only allows one pair every two years. To get new glasses now would be at least $150, for the designer type frames she wants it would be quite a bit more. I told her I won't pay for a 3rd pair, its up to her, so, she refuses to purchase them from her money, saying that's her money. Ok, but when I see her literally blow through what she makes on non-essentials, like eating out,. movies, clothes, etc, I think its only fair to ask her to put up something towards her own medical bills.
Also, she racked up a $500 ER bill because she had gotten into some "stuff" she wouldn't identify---at least not to me---and insisted she couldn't breathe---although she was doing fine, and ER didn't find a thing wrong with her. I really think she should pay that $500 deductible, she insists its our responsibility. At least realize running to doctors isn't a game, it does cost money, and someone has to pay it.
What's wrong with asking a working teen to at least assume some financial responsibility for the bills they rack up?
I think it's fair to say that the pathologies faced by your family are well known to you despite your continued denial. Your experiences thankfully do not represent average families.
I was curious because my SO and his brother had to do this. His mother was a boarderline personality disorder and to me it seems crazy. He still is expected to support his mom even though she treats him and others horribly....
Well no, of course it's not normal, they're minor children.
OP, you better figure out what your game plan is going forward with your SO. Between this post and the one where his mother accused you of poisoning her at Thanksgiving, and him not really defending you, you better have a talk about your future.
Clearly this "mother" has a hold over him, she's elderly and the day may come where she has to go live with one of the "boys", you better discuss what the long range plans are.
Hopefully the brother will take her, but if not, you need to discuss this.
You need to know where you stand in this, don't want to find out too late that he says she's coming to MA to live with us, or he decides to move to NC.
I agree that there is a difference between "wants" and "needs". IMHO "needs" are a parent paying a teenager's medical co-payments and "wants" include buying your teenager a car.
If your daughter needs glasses to drive you should take away her car keys when she loses her glasses so that she does not injure or kill herself or others when driving dangerously.
Another tip (since she has already lost two pair of glasses in a short time) is to offer to pay for the cheapest pair (probably ones with big black ugly frames) satisfying a medical "need" and if she wants a different pair of fancy, nicer glasses she can pay the difference (would could be $100 or $150) because those glasses are a "want".
This is perfect. You buy the min, any more, she pays.
Nope, no way. Parents are obligated to provide room and board for kids until 18. For those struggling, sure the kids can help out. And yes, the kids can pay for their own vehicles, specialty clothing beyond the basics, games, insurance, gas. But basic room and board is the parent's responsibility until the child turns 18 The rule here at my house is after high school graduation or you turn 18, which ever comes last, you either work and contribute or go to school. I have one kid who probably wont go to school and one who will. I'll provide free room and board to the one going to school but she'll have to pay most of her own expenses. I'll provide cheap room and board for the one not going to school so he can save up for what ever he wants.
I won't be charging my child rent or utilities. However, if he wants a car, he will need to fund it, the gas for it and any money for any extras outside of school sports/activities
I'm just curious, but, is it unusual to make a highschooler pay rent and utilities to a parent? This seems odd to me but maybe I was raised in a bubble.
We wouldn't charge my high schooler, but we've told both kids that post-high school if they decide not to go to college, they will be required to work full-time and pay rent if they continue living in our house.
Even last night when we were going out to dinner, the conversation came up. Both kids said they'd rather go to college AND live at home.
My mom didn't charge me to live in her house, but she definitely wasn't keen on spending any money on me. I had a baby sophomore year of HS and immediately started working a PT job after school. I paid for my daughter's diapers, wipes, clothes, photo's etc. When I turned 16 I bought my first car and I paid the insurance and gasoline. I would say I made about 150 a week. When I graduated HS my mom reluctantly bought my class ring (the cheapest one possible, IMO).
It's all character building. My daughter is 13 now and she babysits every Wed. night. I make her save her money for outings/trips. But I don't expect her to pay for her everyday expenses. It's my job to take care of her, not vice versa.
I could easily justify asking her to chip in, because I am a FT Student and money is tight, but I don't feel its the right thing to do. Parents need to be the breadwinners.
When I was finally old enough to work and I had a job... my dad had me pay him $50 a month towards things like my own car insurance and having my own cable box and internet. Wasn't much so it was no big deal to me... I think the bigger purpose was to teach me about earning an honest dollar and getting used to having to pay bills. It was a good exercise... and I think more parents should do stuff like that. Especially when their kids still expect them to pay for everything even if they are working part-time during school.
Another question.....would you put HS students in charge of rewiring the house? Father had passed away so they were the oldest men in the house.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
