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Old 12-18-2014, 09:24 AM
 
26,660 posts, read 13,746,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
You need to determine if you signed a form giving permission. From what I've read, you don't seem to be sure. Then you need to determine if the group is public or private. If it is private none of this matters. If it is public, then what you can do depends on if you signed the form allowing it.
Like I said earlier, I am going to let this one go, but just be more vigilant in the future. I'm pretty sure that I did fill out a form where I did not grant permission. This league is extremely unorganized. I don't agree that there is a difference between them sharing photos on a private site vs a public site. Permission is necessary either way.

 
Old 12-18-2014, 09:42 AM
 
3,279 posts, read 5,318,749 times
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I think it's silly to make such a big deal about this. This attitude and its pervasiveness is why, as a hobbyist photographer, people look at me like I'm the trench-coat pervert of the neighborhood for using my camera in public for almost anything, even if it involves no one else's children in anyway. It's paranoia.

99% of the time--and to me, that's what matters, you don't respond "well what about the other 1%," 99% is good enough--nothing is going to come of it. It's no big deal. Even if someone pleasures themselves to photos of your children, frankly--so what? Really, so what? If they are pleasuring themselves using your actual children, in terms of molesting them physically, then obviously we have a serious problem that needs dealing with. Photos--that's so not a big deal in the least.

I'm typically for respect, very big on "if it bothers someone, show respect for how they feel, even if you don't agree with it," but for certain things, I think a reply of "get over it and stop being so sensitive" is the proper reply, and this is one of those times. This paranoia is why people are all walking on eggshells in areas we all used to be so relaxed over in previous years. It destroys community and adds a "chill" to the atmosphere, all over what is nothing 99% of the time. I can't imagine having grandchildren (I currently don't) and the parents going into "control freak" mode and telling me I can't post photos of them. I mean, they're my grandchildren, I'm a hobbyist photographer, OF COURSE I am going to want to take nice photos of them and share them. It's part of my pride in my family and pride in the quality of my photos showing their wonder and such.

That's one thing I've learned--yes, grandparents (and others) need to show respect for the parents, but sometimes parents also need to think of where the grandparents (or others) are coming from and lighten up a little bit. (I'm speaking of grandparents here because I think it is a good illustration that could also apply here, even though this is not a grandparent vs parent sort of situation.) There are problems created when grandparents become too bossy, judgmental, and do inappropriate things such as giving the grandchildren toys that they know the parents don't approve of, such as toy guns or the like, or gripe about the way the house is in terms of how clean it is or how it's decorated. They need to realize their role and to not be mean towards the parents.

At the same time, sometimes parents become too much in the "control freak" mode and make a ridiculous fuss. For instance, we're not big on our children eating chocolate or the like, my wife especially much prefers our children eat strawberry-flavored treats instead. To an extent, that should be respected. However, I also have come to realize that, at some point, there's also the element of that you as the parent can go too far and in doing so basically become too uptight over silly things and compromise a relationship between grandchild & grandparent by putting yourself into every little thing unnecessarily. On occasion, the grandparent (your parent) may even decide to just no longer be in association with you anymore and just live their lives without you and the grandchildren completely--and it's YOUR fault for being so petty, not the grandparent's. To that end, I've come to be OKAY with the grandparents giving our children chocolate on occasion, especially since it is on occasion vs everyday and especially since our children are starting to get old enough to where it sort of is silly anymore to be the same way with them as when they were younger.

This statement is key, I realize I'm being wordy, but this statement is key--you realize your children aren't just yours totally, they exist in a world full of other people who love them and want to enjoy them--in a healthy way--and at some point you're being something of a blowhard to make such a fuss over everything by making every single thing an issue and making it all about you. Growing up I knew full well who my parents were and that they were "it." However, I also had aunts, uncles, grandparents etc who also loved me, and my mother had enough sense to not be such a control freak about everything and to let those relationships occur in a natural way without her interfering in every matter. So long as it didn't cause me to start picking up bad habits or compromise my safety, she let it go.

And I think that is exactly what parents ought to do who make such a fuss over a freaking photograph that 99% of the time isn't going to harm a stinking thing.

Sharing photos of children isn't harming anyone, it's just upsetting someone who thinks they should have control over everything even when it doesn't really amount to anything tangible and real. My posting photos isn't compromising you or your life, but you restricting me does compromise things for me. It totally takes all the fun out of that aspect of life, to the point I would consider at least restricting, or possibly even outright terminating, my relationship with such people. Two can play that game. "Those are my children"--well this is my house, and maybe now you aren't going to be as welcome here. My money is MY money, and so rather than sharing it with you in terms of buying gifts for your children spontaneously or on birthdays, or helping you out in terms of shuttling you around in the car when you need a helping hand, maybe I'm going to cease all of that and resort to how it's MY money and MY car to do with however I please. Again, two can play that game. It's not me blackmailing to get what I want, it's me simply saying that two can play the "control freak" game. This whole paranoia over photos of children is just silly, and needs to be said as being so--maybe in a nicer way, but yes, it's silly.

And yes--I have children, young children. You don't have to lose your head and all of perspective just because you now have children. Too many people totally lose their heads upon having children and get all freaky in certain respects. It doesn't have to be that way.

Last edited by shyguylh; 12-18-2014 at 10:38 AM..
 
Old 12-18-2014, 09:59 AM
 
17,401 posts, read 11,975,567 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri View Post
My child joined a team for a local rec league. The coaches decided to make a Facebook Page for the team to share pictures and information. They did not consult with the parents beforehand, they just created it, posted pictures and invited parents to join. I'm not totally comfortable with this. I believe they should ask permission before posting photos of other people's children online. Schools for example have to ask permission for these types of things.

The coaches are about 10 years younger then I and probably have a very different view on social media due to the age gap. My first thought was to address it with the coaches and ask them not to share pictures of my kid online. My husband says to just let it be. I am wondering how other parents would feel about this type of situation. Would it bother you? Or would you be ok with it? I'm not really looking for advice, I'm mostly just curious as to how other parents feel about these types of issues involving kids, boundaries and social media.
Personally, I never share or tag a photo with a child. I have nieces and a nephew, and I'm very careful about that.
 
Old 12-18-2014, 09:59 AM
 
26,660 posts, read 13,746,362 times
Reputation: 19118
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguylh View Post
I think it's silly to make such a big deal about this.
You think that expecting an organization to ask for parental permission before posting photos of other people's kids on social media is "making such a big deal"?
Quote:
This attitude and its pervasiveness is why, as a hobbyist photographer, people look at me like I'm the trench-coat pervert of the neighborhood for using my camera in public for almost anything, even if it involves no one else's children in anyway. It's paranoia.
That situation is not the same as what I'm referring to, although yeah, maybe you should ask if you can take people's pictures if they are looking at you like that.

Quote:
99% of the time--and to me, that's what matters, you don't respond "well what about the other 1%," 99% is good enough--nothing is going to come of it. It's no big deal. Even if someone pleasures themselves to photos of your children, frankly--so what? Really, so what? If they are pleasuring themselves using your actual children, in terms of molesting them physically, then obviously we have a serious problem that needs dealing with. Photos--that's so not a big deal in the least.
I'm not really worried about perverts. For me this is about privacy, boundaries and respect.

Quote:
I'm typically for respect, but for certain things, I think a reply of "get over it and stop being so sensitive" is the proper reply, and this is one of those times.
There is no reason why an organization that works with children can not show respect to parents by simply asking if it is ok for them to share photos of the kids online. There is nothing wrong with expecting them to uphold the agreement when a parent says no.
 
Old 12-18-2014, 10:00 AM
 
26,660 posts, read 13,746,362 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ringwise View Post
Personally, I never share or tag a photo with a child. I have nieces and a nephew, and I'm very careful about that.
I think that is very thoughtful of you.
 
Old 12-18-2014, 10:05 AM
 
Location: Savannah GA/Lk Hopatcong NJ
13,404 posts, read 28,729,623 times
Reputation: 12067
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguylh View Post
I think it's silly to make such a big deal about this. This attitude and its pervasiveness is why, as a hobbyist photographer, people look at me like I'm the trench-coat pervert of the neighborhood for using my camera in public for almost anything, even if it involves no one else's children in anyway. It's paranoia.

99% of the time--and to me, that's what matters, you don't respond "well what about the other 1%," 99% is good enough--nothing is going to come of it. It's no big deal. Even if someone pleasures themselves to photos of your children, frankly--so what? Really, so what? If they are pleasuring themselves using your actual children, in terms of molesting them physically, then obviously we have a serious problem that needs dealing with. Photos--that's so not a big deal in the least.

I'm typically for respect, but for certain things, I think a reply of "get over it and stop being so sensitive" is the proper reply, and this is one of those times. This attitude is why people are all walking on eggshells in areas we all used to be so relaxed over in previous years. I can't imagine having grandchildren and the parents going into "control freak" mode and telling me I can't post photos of them. I mean, they're my grandchildren. What do you expect me to do, "respect my choices?" With 99.5% of things, yes I would--on this, no I'm not, even if means I never see them again, so be it, but this is a stupid thing to get so bent out of shape over and make for a "chilling atmosphere" in what should be a joyous occasion, spending and sharing life with people and taking photos (oh the horror!) of the people in your life who've touched you in a meaningful way. It's harmless, and the fear of it is just silly and ridiculous, and should't be respected, even if it means you no longer have a relationship with the person in anyway at all.

And yes--I have children. See--didn't "everything change" with me when I had children, I kept my head. It's not hard to do, people.
you would risk not being able too see your grand kids again if their parents asked you not to post their photos online and you went ahead anyway??? For some reason I really doubt that.

There are ways of sharing photos electronically, like email or text without posting them via a social network site
 
Old 12-18-2014, 10:15 AM
 
26,660 posts, read 13,746,362 times
Reputation: 19118
Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
you would risk not being able too see your grand kids again if their parents asked you not to post their photos online and you went ahead anyway??? For some reason I really doubt that.

There are ways of sharing photos electronically, like email or text without posting them via a social network site
Agreed.
 
Old 12-18-2014, 10:33 AM
 
17,586 posts, read 15,259,939 times
Reputation: 22915
I understand, to an extent, why some people might be upset about this.. But, I think it's an overreaction.

I can go out right now, take a picture of your kids at the bus stop.. Walking down the street.. Playing baseball at the park.. Sell the pictures and make a profit, and post them online. I don't need their permission, I don't need your permission.

There is nothing wrong with it, legally. This is why we, as Americans, are able to videotape the cops conducting an arrest. There is NO difference between the two from a legal standpoint, nor should there be. if you're in a public location, you have no expectation of privacy. That applies to everyone.

So, what makes it wrong when a league or school or similar does this? Should a school have to get your permission before they put your kids picture in the yearbook? My concession on this is that if some league or association or whatever is going to take photos and post them.. Tell you that they will be doing it and your kid might be in the pictures. I don't see any reason for them to get your approval. If you have a problem with it.. Fine.. Don't let your kids participate. Or.. Send them out like Michael Jackson's kids.. With masks on. That worked out well. Isn't one of them still in a nuthouse for cutting herself?

I feel that some folks see perverts everywhere. This crosses over into the 'overprotective' side of things for me.. I do understand the concerns and.. To an extent I agree.. But.. Not to the level that's been discussed here.
 
Old 12-18-2014, 10:59 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,171,415 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri View Post
Like I said earlier, I am going to let this one go, but just be more vigilant in the future. I'm pretty sure that I did fill out a form where I did not grant permission. This league is extremely unorganized. I don't agree that there is a difference between them sharing photos on a private site vs a public site. Permission is necessary either way.
Pretty sure is not sure. Check your own actions before getting all bent out of shape at the coach or organization.

There is a big difference between only the other parents viewing the photos and anyone and everyone being able to.
 
Old 12-18-2014, 11:03 AM
 
309 posts, read 515,862 times
Reputation: 1100
A friend posted on facebook her young daughter and friends in a slumber party in the bedroom.

I was mortified. They are not even my children.

As a side note, there are incidences where parents found their cute kids' photos being poached and reposted on porn sites.
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