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Old 12-20-2014, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Cumberland County, NJ
8,631 posts, read 12,918,017 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
My children are all grown, in their 20s. There was no awkwardness when they were in puberty with anyone being naked. Most kids naturally become more modest over time but when you realize that a naked body is NOT inherently sexual, than there is no longer an inherent sexual response. We only have that sexual response in this culture because we have been conditioned to do so.
Your example is certainly more the the exception than the norm. Once puberty hits, boys start looking at girls in a more sexual matter. If they are used to seeing their mother naked, then it would be almost impossible for these young males to not think of their "naked mother" when they are fantasizing about other girls being nude, as their mother would've been the first female nude body they've seen. It's almost borderline incest.

 
Old 12-20-2014, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,980 posts, read 14,503,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by G0DDESS View Post
If you raised your kids like that, fine.

But you can't tell me you know about their sexual lives and what they are or are not affected by. Who knows how it really affected them in their own bedrooms. You just have no idea what their fetishes/kinks/turnoffs are now that they're adults.. and how much of it was or was not influenced by seeing you and papa run amok in the nude. (Depending on the extent of it.) Maybe your son gets off on incest fantasies and you have no idea about it. Maybe he'll walk around naked, taking dumps in front of your granddaughter when he has her alone with him. Who knows. That's not something I really want to be influencing in my own kids though.

I err on the side of caution with children's minds.. they are too easily influenced. And while nudity in itself is NOT a sexual act; it's very easy for their minds to interpret it like that once they get closer to their pre-teen years. I'm not taking that risk. I don't want memories of my coochie stewing around in their brains.
Wait, so in your opinion nudity equals sex? Yikes!
 
Old 12-20-2014, 11:43 AM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,630,475 times
Reputation: 20851
Quote:
Originally Posted by G0DDESS View Post
If you raised your kids like that, fine.

But you can't tell me you know about their sexual lives and what they are or are not affected by. Who knows how it really affected them in their own bedrooms. You just have no idea what their fetishes/kinks/turnoffs are now that they're adults.. and how much of it was or was not influenced by seeing you and papa run amok in the nude. (Depending on the extent of it.) Maybe your son gets off on incest fantasies and you have no idea about it. Maybe he'll walk around naked, taking dumps in front of your granddaughter when he has her alone with him. Who knows. That's not something I really want to be influencing in my own kids though.


I know mine, and seeing my parents naked had no effect on me. I am extremely close with my daughter and my brother (three of my kids are really sibling I raised), I know as much about their sex lives as I do close friends, which is something more than nothing.

As an aside it is really disturbing that your mind immediately went to sexual abuse and incest. To be honest it says far more about your thought process than ours.

Quote:
I err on the side of caution with children's minds.. they are too easily influenced. And while nudity in itself is NOT a sexual act; it's very easy for their minds to interpret it like that once they get closer to their pre-teen years. I'm not taking that risk. I don't want memories of my coochie stewing around in their brains.
Quote:
Than you are tacitly teaching them that body parts are shameful, and that is your business, and probably more normal than the reverse. But what research there is tells us there is no harm to children from seeing familial nudity despite your issues with it.
 
Old 12-20-2014, 11:43 AM
 
Location: U.S. (East Coast)
1,225 posts, read 1,395,501 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
Wait, so in your opinion nudity equals sex? Yikes!
Re-read my post. I said it is not sexual, of course not -- but a child's mind once they get to the pre-teen years can begin to interpret it like that. Just think of all the teenage boys who go around giggling about boobies bouncing around when a woman walks down the sidewalk. Now imagine that same teenage boy seeing momma's boobs bouncing around in the nude while she's walking around the house. Nudity is NOT sexual, in and of itself. Of course not. But pre-teen and teenage hormones can most definitely turn it into that....

You must not remember yourself as a pre-teen.... hmm?
 
Old 12-20-2014, 11:53 AM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,630,475 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gwillyfromphilly View Post
Your example is certainly more the the exception than the norm. Once puberty hits, boys start looking at girls in a more sexual matter. If they are used to seeing their mother naked, then it would be almost impossible for these young males to not think of their "naked mother" when they are fantasizing about other girls being nude, as their mother would've been the first female nude body they've seen. It's almost borderline incest.
You have nothing to back up that statement, aside from your own opinion.

In reality, it is the opposite. When you have been raised to see the human body as a whole as normal, it is hard to fetishize individual parts of it. My husband was raised this way as well, he has never fantasized about his mother or sisters (and he has many of them). Like most boys he fantasized about his peers of the opposite sex, celebrities, or the girls in the skin mags he and his friends filched from their dads and older brothers.

But like most teens, my daughter, brother ,and sisters (who I have raised) became naturally more modest as they entered his teen years. Since we usually got changed in our rooms, they became more likely to knock, same with the bathroom. We would still occasionally walk in on one another and it was not a big deal, but the person walking in would usually walk right back out. We all surfed together even into the teen years, and Have seen bits flashed while changing out of wetsuits at the car. Again not a big deal.

So again, if you think seeing your mother naked would cause you to commit incest, it is probably just as well that didn't happen but it is not the norm for most people.
 
Old 12-20-2014, 11:59 AM
 
Location: Cumberland County, NJ
8,631 posts, read 12,918,017 times
Reputation: 5766
Quote:
Originally Posted by G0DDESS View Post
If you raised your kids like that, fine.

But you can't tell me you know about their sexual lives and what they are or are not affected by. Who knows how it really affected them in their own bedrooms. You just have no idea what their fetishes/kinks/turnoffs are now that they're adults.. and how much of it was or was not influenced by seeing you and papa run amok in the nude. (Depending on the extent of it.) Maybe your son gets off on incest fantasies and you have no idea about it. Maybe he'll walk around naked, taking dumps in front of your granddaughter when he has her alone with him. Who knows. That's not something I really want to be influencing in my own kids though.

I err on the side of caution with children's minds.. they are too easily influenced. And while nudity in itself is NOT a sexual act; it's very easy for their minds to interpret it like that once they get closer to their pre-teen years. I'm not taking that risk. I don't want memories of my coochie stewing around in their brains.
I agree. It's not our culture, so that's how things can get complicated. If this was some remote tribe in central Africa or the Amazon than I could understand why nudity wouldn't be a big deal but we live in a Western society were that is basically frowned upon. Add to the fact that we live in a highly sexualized society, especially when it comes to nudity. Whose to say that these children of the nude parents don't think of their mother's nude body when they are fantasizing about another girl they happen to have a crush on at school. In the reverse scenario, whose to say that when the daughter reaches puberty and starts looking at male bodies in a sexual matter, that she won't think of her father's penis when she is thinking about nude males. Assuming that the boys' private parts at her school will look exactly like her father's.

It's just not a good idea to even be nude around your children. A lot more negatives than positive. Most likely they will be scarred or think of their parents in a sexual matter.

Last edited by gwillyfromphilly; 12-20-2014 at 01:29 PM..
 
Old 12-20-2014, 12:02 PM
 
16,825 posts, read 17,630,475 times
Reputation: 20851
Quote:
Originally Posted by G0DDESS View Post
Re-read my post. I said it is not sexual, of course not -- but a child's mind once they get to the pre-teen years can begin to interpret it like that. Just think of all the teenage boys who go around giggling about boobies bouncing around when a woman walks down the sidewalk. Now imagine that same teenage boy seeing momma's boobs bouncing around in the nude while she's walking around the house. Nudity is NOT sexual, in and of itself. Of course not. But pre-teen and teenage hormones can most definitely turn it into that....

You must not remember yourself as a pre-teen.... hmm?
150 years ago the ankle was more sexualized than the breast. Teens used to hang out at corners hoping for a glimpse when women crossed the street. In some societies hair, or the navel can illicit a sexual response that the teens in our society have no response to, why? Because the ankle, hair, navel, etc are no longer taboos. By seeing them treated non-sexually they are no longer fetishized.

That is exactly what being accepting of familial nudity does, removes the societal cue that tells us to fetishize nudity. And most of the boys in my family see boobs being used for their evolutionarily intended purpose, feeding children, for so long before they are pre-teens that the are not going to have any response to a glimpse of their mothers while she walks from the bathroom to the bedroom.
 
Old 12-20-2014, 12:09 PM
 
1,638 posts, read 3,816,417 times
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I think it's ok up until puberty age (9-10) after that it becomes awkward.
 
Old 12-20-2014, 12:14 PM
 
Location: Cumberland County, NJ
8,631 posts, read 12,918,017 times
Reputation: 5766
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
You have nothing to back up that statement, aside from your own opinion.

In reality, it is the opposite. When you have been raised to see the human body as a whole as normal, it is hard to fetishize individual parts of it. My husband was raised this way as well, he has never fantasized about his mother or sisters (and he has many of them). Like most boys he fantasized about his peers of the opposite sex, celebrities, or the girls in the skin mags he and his friends filched from their dads and older brothers.

But like most teens, my daughter, brother ,and sisters (who I have raised) became naturally more modest as they entered his teen years. Since we usually got changed in our rooms, they became more likely to knock, same with the bathroom. We would still occasionally walk in on one another and it was not a big deal, but the person walking in would usually walk right back out. We all surfed together even into the teen years, and Have seen bits flashed while changing out of wetsuits at the car. Again not a big deal.

So again, if you think seeing your mother naked would cause you to commit incest, it is probably just as well that didn't happen but it is not the norm for most people.
I'm so glad I didn't grow up in a household like yours. It could've probably scarred me and who knows what affect it would've had on my sexual development.
 
Old 12-20-2014, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Chicago area
18,748 posts, read 11,709,989 times
Reputation: 64054
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwillyfromphilly View Post
I agree with you. I also think there's a double standard. If this was a father who felt comfortable being naked in front of his young daughters, the majority of people would want him thrown in jail.


My father was an alcoholic pig who would lie naked on the bed without closing the door. I found it disturbing as a teenager. I've seen more dangling man parts at work to last me a lifetime. I don't think anything of it now but that image of my father still disturbs me. I've gone skinny dipping with friends and not thought anything of it but there's something disturbing about being naked in front of kids. One of the girl shorties bolted into the bathroom of the rental while I was taking a shower. I tried to cover up with a see through shower curtain. We laugh about it now but at the time I was mortified. I have a German friend that went to nude beaches with his mother. I think American's are far too uptight about nudity and sexuality but I personally would not want to go to a nude beach with my mother or father. Maybe there's a happy medium in there some where.
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