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I Young people at 12 and 13 and even at 18 or 19 are still fragile mentally phycally and spritually. We are to care for them and teach them right and wrong and to protect them. If we become the "Friend Parent" instead of the Parent then we loose sight of the big picture and want them to always like us. How will our children learn if they get anything and everything they want?
Bingo! There's the problem. And the parents do want to be buddies more than the "enforcers", as well as bombarding the kids with every (material) thing imaginable.
I don't see anything wrong with allowing the teenage girlfriend to be in the room with the door shut and/or locked, watching movies or just chatting. I'm a woman in my early 30's who was allowed to have boyfriends over in my room with the door shut and/or locked from 10th grade on. My parents didn't see anything wrong with it and neither did I, and if I have children I will allow them to do the same. Part of it was that I wanted privacy to chat with my boyfriend, etc. Yes, we kissed, etc. but that is normal behavior for high school students and I don't see anything wrong with it happening in the teen's bedroom with the door locked. If it's not happening there it will happen at the other teen's house, in their cars, in the basement, or wherever.
Sorry but NO teen age kids should be in their bedroom with the door shut with their girlfriend/boyfriend!! If they couldn't obey MY rules in MY house they could pack up and move out. I would have no part of something like this. They could visit in the common areas of the house but bedrooms are off limits! A parent is crazy if they allow this to happen and are sure begging for problems and I wouldn't risk being sued/held liable because it happened under my roof, even if it is someone elses children involved.
So....let me get this straight......no togetherness in the house....right.....
So they have to go down the street and hide behind the dumpster and do the deed there.....hopefully they remembered the condoms that were in his other pants cause theres no time to go get em etc etc etc.....
I was not allowed any g'friends in my bedroom either [way back in 1955] but I did manage to be "alone" with em in the back seat of a 1949 ford.
Wife and I are currently raising her 16 yr old g'son. He has carried condoms since he was 12.....finally succumbed and bit the apple when he was almost 16....
Both he and g'friend have been counseled frequently on the ramifications of biting the apple....
He wears a condom.
She is on birth control
THEY both have reminders on their phones for her to take her pill every day.
They are both aware that IF their should be a slipup they will both be quitting school and seeking gainful employment and supporting the child [and each other] and there is no alternative....with pregnancy goes the dreams of the Military, College and the FBI for him and College for her......
To have taught that abstinence is the only way would have been russian roulette with an automatic pistol.
You and your friend are absolutly right IF it was her kid and she was doing the parenting. In this situation she is JUST a renter so if she can't put up with the situation of the owner (whether a relative or not) then she needs to find someone else to rent from.
You and your friend are absolutly right IF it was her kid and she was doing the parenting. In this situation she is JUST a renter so if she can't put up with the situation of the owner (whether a relative or not) then she needs to find someone else to rent from.
Sorry... misread that... changes everything.... now I would say that if you just have a parenting dispute and you want them to still be there then I guess you defer to the parents and look the other way; however, if you have a moral dispute then have them out of the house and look for a new renter.
Hmmm. Still tough situation. She's not just a renter, she's her sister. So the boy is the owner's nephew. The woman is letting her sister and her family live with her while they save for their own place.
So....let me get this straight......no togetherness in the house....right.....
I was not allowed any g'friends in my bedroom either [way back in 1955] but I did manage to be "alone" with em in the back seat of a 1949 ford.
Wife and I are currently raising her 16 yr old g'son. .
what is "g'son"?? grandson? did his parents die? coondolances if they did. did you consider that maybe people on here are concerned about stuff like this because they maybe dont want to be having to raise their grandbabies under other, all too common circumstances...
When I was that age I was allowed to be in my boyfriend's room but the door had to be open. Now that I have boys nearing that age doors will remain open.
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