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Old 01-20-2015, 03:32 PM
 
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My parents had an interesting approach when it came to alcohol (and cigarettes); they smoked and only my grandfather drank alcohol on a regular basis.

Whenever I said "Can I try beer/wine/cigarettes?" I would be told "Sure, go ahead!" and they would really let me take sips from a beer or hand me a cigarette. I tried beer and wine for the first time when I was maybe 7 years old and I didn't like it. I would sip again from time to time but that was it. I never smoked the cigarette I was handed, though I did once light one just to see if I would really be allowed to smoke it. But, as I knew about the dangers of smoking I never did try it. Not to this day.

I never went crazy about alcohol like so many of my peers who went nuts when they were finally able to get their hands on it. In fact, I don't think I have ever been really, really drunk in my life. I'd rather do something else with my time and money. So, for me this approach worked very well, but if it would with every child... I doubt it!
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Old 01-20-2015, 07:06 PM
 
Location: London
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My parents had no problem letting me have drinks, or trying a cigarette or pot. As a result, when I was able to get that stuff on my own, I didn't even really care, and to this day, I don't smoke, and rarely drink. Meanwhile my peers went absolutely hogwild when they finally had the opportunity to imbibe, and a few of them got sucked into the lifestyle.

If you treat something as nothing to need to get excited about, so too will they.
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Old 01-20-2015, 07:22 PM
 
Location: West of Louisiana, East of New Mexico
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My parents (passively) did not allow me to drink coffee growing up. I tried it at my aunt's house a few times, and wasn't impressed. My mom gave me a cup at age 14. I sweated like crazy. After taking one of those DNA tests, I learned that I'm a poor metabolizer of caffeine. It makes sense as I never liked the way it made me feel.

As for alcohol, I stole a couple of sips of beer/wine in 6th grade but didn't really try it until I was 18. My mom poured some beer in a coffee mug right before I started college and said "drink up." I nearly spit it all out.

Drinking is much more fun (when attempting to maintain a state of moderate intoxication) when you're between ages 18-25. Nowadays, if I have more than a couple of beers, I feel off.
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Old 01-20-2015, 11:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sedimenjerry View Post
I've seen it go both ways. However, I think there's a difference between parents who don't care how much their kids drink and maybe even encourage it, and parents who introduce their kids to alcohol in limited amounts but aren't super strict about it.
This...Most F ups I was friends with fell into one of two categories. 1. Peoples whose parents were not around or let them do anything or 2. People whose parents were complete helicopter parents.
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Old 01-20-2015, 11:52 PM
 
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I grew up in NJ where underage drinking (at home) is legal and common. Both sides of my family started offering me drinks at family functions in high school and by the time I was 16 it was sort of expected that I'd be having wine if it was being served. Most of my friends growing up were the same. Personally, I think drinking with multiple generations of your family sets the tone of when and how and how much you should drink. Obviously, if you have problem drinkers in your family it's not going to work.

Anway, I never had much of a desire to drink in high school so I didn't. It wasn't until my mid-20s that I started drinking semi-regularly and for me, throughout my teen years, drinking was always something that old people did at dinner. Out of my 28 cousins only one ever had a problem with booze which he eventually outgrew - and I think that's because his mom (who married into the family) was a lot more puritanical about it.
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Old 01-21-2015, 05:19 AM
 
819 posts, read 1,402,518 times
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Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
Because weed has been legalized in some states, what do you think is the right age to give him/her his first doobie?
Usually about the same time that you encourage them to go into fast food as a career path.
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:57 AM
 
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I am a firm believer that gradually introducing kids to alcohol will have huge benefits in their late teenage & college years. Let them think that drinking alcohol is something "old people" like their parents and the rest of the family do. The less elicit excitement they will feel about alcohol the better.

My wife and I mostly drink wine and a bit of scotch/cognac in a winter, beer when over the summer when we are home. I will let my son taste beer and wine whenever he wants. I can see giving him some wine around 13-14 if he wants to. I obviously would not insist. I just want to be as relaxed about alcohol in our family as we are let's say about chocolate. It is something to drink or eat occasionally, mainly on weekends. Both will make you really sick if done too much.

I don't smoke cigarettes and neither is my wife. I occasionally smoke cigars and would not mind giving my son a try. I will however, stress the harm of regular smoking as much as I could. In my opinion, even semi regular smoking is harmful to the lungs. Much worse than alcohol.
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Old 01-21-2015, 09:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Wellllll....you might check out the exact legalities if you are inclined to be serving minors in your home. It usually must be the parent who provides the alcohol - or at least the parent must be present and consent. It's not anything I'd want to mess around with.
I don't plan to be serving alcohol at any time.. But.. It's legit.. Even though I was focusing on parents providing.

Quote:
The drinking age in South Carolina is 21 and consumption of alcohol by anyone under 21 is illegal with the following exceptions:
  • on private, non alcohol-selling premises, with consent of a legal guardian -- for example, with legal guardian’s permission at a party, or
  • on private, non alcohol-selling premises, no consent of a legal guardian required although laws differ as to whether adults can furnish alcohol, or
  • for religious purposes – for example, drinking wine with religious ceremony, or
  • for government work – for example, if the underage drinker is working on government research or is working for the police

One thing that's not mentioned in the above that actually is also legal here.. And in most states.


Culinary school.



If you have someone under 21, they are allowed to drink while at a culinary school.. Which makes sense.. If you're cooking something with beer in it, you need to know what the beer tastes like.. but, that exception is pretty much for tasting.. Not for full out drinking.
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Old 01-24-2015, 02:28 AM
 
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What about pot and/or cigars, pipes, chewing tobacco, etc? Anything wrong with a young person being able to smoke a fatty or a cig with their parents once in a while?
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Old 01-24-2015, 02:49 AM
 
Location: Chicago
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
Other than trying a sip or two, when is it appropriate to give your child his/her first drink? How about let them go to parties?

Because weed has been legalized in some states, what do you think is the right age to give him/her his first doobie? And what about coffee?
First glass of wine at formal dinners and special occasions... maybe 10 or so. A modest ABV beer at a cookout or after mowing the lawn or similar outdoor activity, maybe 14 or 15. Parties... depends on with whom and who is supervising. Unsupervised parties where alcohol is served? Not until they're out of the house and on their own and responsible for their own decisions and the consequences thereof.

Right age for a doobie? Same as unsupervised parties above.

Right age for coffee? Whenever they actually like it I guess.
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