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I spanked my son once, he was 3 yrs old. I went too far...he wasn't hurt permanently but knew from the way I felt.. spanking was not for me. Ever
The spanking was too hard. I was loosing control. Following in my fathers footsteps...eager to win. It wasn't about him, it was about me. So I "woke" up and instead, locked him in his bedroom and phoned my husband to come home from work. I'd never asked him to come home before.
Then phoned his father, my father in law at work. Told him what I did. He was a CPS Worker at the time. I asked if he could come over whenever he had time. Soon hopefully. He stopped by an hour later and reinforced what I wanted to hear, that I never had to spank our son again. That some people aren't cut out for it. My husband nor his 4 siblings were never spanked, ever. So I suspected his dad, my father in law, wasn't for spanking anyhow but agreed with whatever reasoning I had for not doing it. Not to make excuses but I was 20 years old and even a few years more maturity, I think it wouldn't have happened.
Our son was in his room over an hour before Grandpa arrived. The whole inside of the door was punched in...his Grandpa called me to come and see it. Indents the size of a little guys fists. And his little face was bright red. sweaty..he was exhausted. Half way laying down on the floor with scraped knuckles.
Even his Grandpa who worked for CPS went, oh whoa!! boy this kid is a handful!! The Door had to be replaced.
3 months later it sure made me feel bad in the hospital when our son started "talking" right after the surgery. He got Tubes in his ears because he had ongoing fluid in his ears since birth. So would make noises instead of speak, he did alot of pointing.
At every well check up visit I was told, "he has the starting of an ear infection". I told the Doctor you say that at every visit and I am confident if I don't pick up the medication, it won't turn into an ear infection anyhow. It won't matter so why drug him every 6 months? This should've been a clue to re-check him but instead, nothing. So I took him to a different Doctor and he ended up ordering the surgery
I spanked him in a sense, way too hard, due to a disability.
It took 6 months until his speech was age appropriate. He hadn't been able to hear really since birth. He's very smart, works for Apple doing Tech Support out of his bedroom. He has a Bachelors Degree. And he doesn't have a hot temper, he is quite mellow actually
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Last edited by CaliforniaGal1; 01-20-2015 at 12:20 AM..
I used to do dumb things when I was a kid but most of my spankings came from belts. I was caught shoplifting when I was 15 and got my ass handed to me. Belts were normal, especially if you acted like a brat. I dunno how I turned out, but I didn't turn out anything like those 16 yr old hooligans that do drugs, steal and disrespect adults.
I just realized that spanking with a belt is possibly abuse. Is it?
You JUST realized it? How so?
If you could find someone with ten times your body weight and strength to beat the crap out of you with a belt you'd probably get your answer.
Why did you single out 15 years old? Most 15 year olds can fight back anyway. If some idiot thought they were going to beat ME with/for ANYTHING at age 15, they'd have found themselves knocked out on the floor with whatever object I could grab.
You mean the wealthy and privileged highly educated upper-middle class white Jewish people? That socioeconomic and cultural group? That's the socio-economic and cultural group I grew up with. Most of us were spanked on occasion - a couple of us had parents who'd get out the belt, and all of us had grandparents who spanked their kids. In fact, my own mom got spanked every single morning before school on her way out the door, "just in case" she misbehaved during the school day. It was just a swat on the butt, but it was delivered sternly as a warning.
I graduated in the top 1% in the Achievement scores in the state. My IQ score was sadly lacking, but only because I don't do well on timed "puzzle" tests. The Achievement was an English essay and I received a perfect score. I was graduated from college with honors, and have taken post-graduate studies just for kicks and giggles. I've never committed a violent crime. Mom got her Masters in Education and completed some other educational training in addition to her required yearly certs. My grandfather was a successful dentist. My grandmother was a playwright. They were happy and outgoing and very much in love, and were the hit on the dance floor. When my grandfather died in his 80's my grandmother vowed to never dance again. The pain of losing her husband of over 50 years, was by far more traumatic than any spanking she received as a child.
We ALL experienced spanking first-hand in our youth. And we all came out just fine.
If you could find someone with ten times your body weight and strength to beat the crap out of you with a belt you'd probably get your answer.
Why did you single out 15 years old? Most 15 year olds can fight back anyway. If some idiot thought they were going to beat ME with/for ANYTHING at age 15, they'd have found themselves knocked out on the floor with whatever object I could grab.
When you've been abused, it becomes normal. They don't know any different and often, just repeat the cycle.
Or she's a late bloomer
Good point about the body weight and someone twice your size, we often forget that
As a kid, I got spanked with a belt. My father had a temper. I was left with welts. But what was worse was the psychological effect it had on me. I was a good kid, got great grades, but made smart a@@ comments occasionally. That's why I got the belt, and it never made sense to me. It wasn't like I was stealing cars or lighting things on fire. All the belt did was make me angry, and make me fear my father. Yes, it is abuse.
Good for you^^^ but so sorry this happened to you.
If you can't do it to someone on a football field, it is probably abuse.
On the football field you can tackle and shove another man. You may not punch him, grab him by his face, beat on him with a stick, or take off your belt to deliver more severe blows.
You'll notice that the football field never allows someone to arm themselves with tools to inflict additional pain.
Some people might suggest the helmet can be used as a weapon to inflict pain, it can, that's a 15 yard penalty because you are not allowed to do it.
Even though it was common and popular to abuse children this way in the past, it is still abuse. Being common does not make something right.
It is interesting to note that the socioeconomic and cultural groups that spank the most lag behind in nearly every measurable outcome, such as high school graduation rates, ACT scores, teen pregnancy, and violent crime.
I am not saying it is spanking that causes the unfavorable outcomes, but it does run contrary to the claim that spanked children turn out better and are better behaved.
This has no validity to it whatsoever. We make a six figure income in my household, both graduated with business degrees, graduated with honors, didn't have kids until 3 years after we were married and had a stable income, and have never committed any crimes.
You mean the wealthy and privileged highly educated upper-middle class white Jewish people? That socioeconomic and cultural group? That's the socio-economic and cultural group I grew up with. Most of us were spanked on occasion - a couple of us had parents who'd get out the belt, and all of us had grandparents who spanked their kids. In fact, my own mom got spanked every single morning before school on her way out the door, "just in case" she misbehaved during the school day. It was just a swat on the butt, but it was delivered sternly as a warning.
I graduated in the top 1% in the Achievement scores in the state. My IQ score was sadly lacking, but only because I don't do well on timed "puzzle" tests. The Achievement was an English essay and I received a perfect score. I was graduated from college with honors, and have taken post-graduate studies just for kicks and giggles. I've never committed a violent crime. Mom got her Masters in Education and completed some other educational training in addition to her required yearly certs. My grandfather was a successful dentist. My grandmother was a playwright. They were happy and outgoing and very much in love, and were the hit on the dance floor. When my grandfather died in his 80's my grandmother vowed to never dance again. The pain of losing her husband of over 50 years, was by far more traumatic than any spanking she received as a child.
We ALL experienced spanking first-hand in our youth. And we all came out just fine.
err - no you didn't. You think its ok for adults to hit little children. So you didn't turn out just fine at all. That's just a self-serving whitewash with no actual introspection.
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