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Grounding, time out, sitting in the corner, solitary confinement, loss of privileges, etc.
All of those options only work if the kid complies. If the kid isn't compliant, they won't work. And if they are compliant, then they don't need to be disciplined in the first place.
Grounding: "You must come home after school and can't go out til tomorrow when you go to school in the morning!"
Non-compliant kid's response: "Yeah right." And gets home late from school, sneaks out after supper while mom is busy doing the dishes, and leaves for school the next morning but goes to the mall instead.
Time out: "Time to sit in the naughty chair!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Walks away and does what he wants to do, because no one is forcing him to sit in that chair.
Solitary confinement: "Go to your room!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Unless you actually lock the kid in and his bedroom window is too far for safe egress AND he doesn't have a fire ladder to climb out - you can't keep him in there, and he will walk out and do whatever he wants to do. Locking him in a closet is considered child abuse, so that's not an option. Not to mention if he has to go to the bathroom when he's locked in, it's mom who'll have to pay the price for the mess he leaves on the floor.
Loss of privileges: "No TV for you!"
Non-compliant kid's response: To go to Johnny's house and watch their TV instead. "No cell phone for you!" Response: Play Wii games instead. "No Wii games for you!" Goes to Johnny's house and plays with him on his Wii instead. And again - unless you forcibly retain him in a room and are willing to sit there watching him 24 hours to physically prevent him from leaving, there's nothing you can do to keep him from simply walking out the door.
There has been news articles, and even on a couple of episodes on Supernanny that parents are using hot sauce and dapping a small amount on their kid's tongue to get them to behave. As of late, its becoming a thing.
Thoughts?
That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.
And I've heard some pretty ridiculous things.
I would suggest that parents who'd try this are probably not cut out to parent.
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All of those options only work if the kid complies. If the kid isn't compliant, they won't work. And if they are compliant, then they don't need to be disciplined in the first place.
Grounding: "You must come home after school and can't go out til tomorrow when you go to school in the morning!"
Non-compliant kid's response: "Yeah right." And gets home late from school, sneaks out after supper while mom is busy doing the dishes, and leaves for school the next morning but goes to the mall instead.
Time out: "Time to sit in the naughty chair!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Walks away and does what he wants to do, because no one is forcing him to sit in that chair.
Solitary confinement: "Go to your room!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Unless you actually lock the kid in and his bedroom window is too far for safe egress AND he doesn't have a fire ladder to climb out - you can't keep him in there, and he will walk out and do whatever he wants to do. Locking him in a closet is considered child abuse, so that's not an option. Not to mention if he has to go to the bathroom when he's locked in, it's mom who'll have to pay the price for the mess he leaves on the floor.
Loss of privileges: "No TV for you!"
Non-compliant kid's response: To go to Johnny's house and watch their TV instead. "No cell phone for you!" Response: Play Wii games instead. "No Wii games for you!" Goes to Johnny's house and plays with him on his Wii instead. And again - unless you forcibly retain him in a room and are willing to sit there watching him 24 hours to physically prevent him from leaving, there's nothing you can do to keep him from simply walking out the door.
So, people should figure out how to raise a compliant kid.
Or, to be willing to negotiate.
It's not terribly complicated, really.
__________________
When in doubt, check it out: FAQ
All of those options only work if the kid complies. If the kid isn't compliant, they won't work. And if they are compliant, then they don't need to be disciplined in the first place.
Grounding: "You must come home after school and can't go out til tomorrow when you go to school in the morning!"
Non-compliant kid's response: "Yeah right." And gets home late from school, sneaks out after supper while mom is busy doing the dishes, and leaves for school the next morning but goes to the mall instead.
Time out: "Time to sit in the naughty chair!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Walks away and does what he wants to do, because no one is forcing him to sit in that chair.
Solitary confinement: "Go to your room!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Unless you actually lock the kid in and his bedroom window is too far for safe egress AND he doesn't have a fire ladder to climb out - you can't keep him in there, and he will walk out and do whatever he wants to do. Locking him in a closet is considered child abuse, so that's not an option. Not to mention if he has to go to the bathroom when he's locked in, it's mom who'll have to pay the price for the mess he leaves on the floor.
Loss of privileges: "No TV for you!"
Non-compliant kid's response: To go to Johnny's house and watch their TV instead. "No cell phone for you!" Response: Play Wii games instead. "No Wii games for you!" Goes to Johnny's house and plays with him on his Wii instead. And again - unless you forcibly retain him in a room and are willing to sit there watching him 24 hours to physically prevent him from leaving, there's nothing you can do to keep him from simply walking out the door.
In these scenarios there are far bigger issues than normal transgressions. Most kids will follow parental instructions to go to their rooms or sit in time-out. For the ones that don't, hot sauce isn't going to alter the defiance either. So, what would YOU suggest?
All of those options only work if the kid complies. If the kid isn't compliant, they won't work. And if they are compliant, then they don't need to be disciplined in the first place.
Grounding: "You must come home after school and can't go out til tomorrow when you go to school in the morning!"
Non-compliant kid's response: "Yeah right." And gets home late from school, sneaks out after supper while mom is busy doing the dishes, and leaves for school the next morning but goes to the mall instead.
Time out: "Time to sit in the naughty chair!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Walks away and does what he wants to do, because no one is forcing him to sit in that chair.
Solitary confinement: "Go to your room!"
Non-compliant kid's response: Unless you actually lock the kid in and his bedroom window is too far for safe egress AND he doesn't have a fire ladder to climb out - you can't keep him in there, and he will walk out and do whatever he wants to do. Locking him in a closet is considered child abuse, so that's not an option. Not to mention if he has to go to the bathroom when he's locked in, it's mom who'll have to pay the price for the mess he leaves on the floor.
Loss of privileges: "No TV for you!"
Non-compliant kid's response: To go to Johnny's house and watch their TV instead. "No cell phone for you!" Response: Play Wii games instead. "No Wii games for you!" Goes to Johnny's house and plays with him on his Wii instead. And again - unless you forcibly retain him in a room and are willing to sit there watching him 24 hours to physically prevent him from leaving, there's nothing you can do to keep him from simply walking out the door.
In cases like the above, parents have to ask themselves... who's really in charge? Little Johnny apparently is running the household. That's the parent's fault for letting him get away with those behaviors from the start.
I suggest spanking and soap. I highly suggest that children not have access to "smart phones" but instead, in the current society where pay phones are generally no longer in existence, they have old fashioned voice-only flip-phones programmed to dial mom, 911, the non-emergency police and fire, their school, and their best friend's mom.
I also suggest more free-range, less hover-mommy. I highly recommend that kids be TOLD to do things, not ASKED, because when they grow up, their boss isn't going to ask them to pretty please finish the project, but it's really optional and they don't have to do it at all. Their dirty laundry is also not going to ask pretty please to be cleaned. They need to be taught a routine. They need to be taught the basic life skills - cleaning their clothes, their rooms, and their dishes, they need a portion of their allowance (which they have to EARN) put in a savings bank so they can learn how to budget, they need to learn how to interact "live and up close" with other human beings outside of the school environment. They need recess, and play time that doesn't involve a remote control or internet access.
These are the things I suggest. Sadly, most parents would prefer to give their kids the latest and greatest tech device, and then complain that Johnny can't read or write. We're so hell-bent on the newfangled gadget and the most trendy math "core" and nanny-stating our kids to death, that we forget that these children aren't software programs that you can change by clicking on OK or NEXT.
Parents need to return to being parents, and stop being their friends or "guiders."
Those are the things that I suggest. That way, when a kid refuses to comply, he will learn very quickly why it's a stupid idea.
And if your precious special snowflake is the exception to the rule and just is too gosh darned sensitive to comply after an open-handed smack on the backside, then perhaps it's time to consider military school.
I have a feeling this won't work on Indians, Thai, Chinese from Szechwan provinces, nor Mexican children.
It's rough raising kids. Some are really "out of there". I read on Facebook how one toddler threw enough of a tantrum that someone paid big bucks for regular cheese cut into the shape of mickey mouse ears. With this sort of thing, you can expect extreme situations of higher magnitude. I'm leaning towards NOT doing this, but I'll reserve judgment when I do get my own kids.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell
Can't be any worse than feeding a kid junk food can it?
That's different. Most kids enjoy junk food, and think of it as a reward.
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