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We haven't discussed it with him yet. I want to think it through before I present the idea to him. I'm concerned he might feel a "loser" if on disability, and not even try. OTOH, if he could qualify for subsidizes, while receiving educational assistance, medical, job training, etc, who are we to deny him that? He's very discouraged right now in school, so, perhaps a change would do him good. School is a social environment as well as an educational environment. He's already older/taller than many in his school, and I can just tell he feels humiliated being so far behind. I don't care to dwell on the past, what went wrong, etc. Obviously, things didn't go well during his high school years. But where do we go from here?
He's just not ready to leave the nest quite yet.
Have you considered an apprenticeship or something? Maybe someone non school related would be more his fit.
My son with Down syndrome gets SSI and I wanted to see the difference. I do know that should a parent die, he could get a larger amount based on our entitlements but the amount he receives is only $700 and something. He functions at the 40 month level of functioning is still able to do simple jobs and be a "helper" and even in his case, that ability to "contribute" makes such a difference for him just as it does to everyone else. Everyone needs some sort of purpose.
I would have my son exploring every possible opportunity. Because of your son's disability, does he have a case manager that helps with directing him toward possible programs? I would not tell your son that he could get this money as an option since I would not see that as a motivator for sure. Getting SSDI is not an easy road.
Yes, he's had an IEP for several years, and we have an upcoming ARD.
I was thinking along your lines, that SSDI can be temporary, while he achieves employable status. School isactually trying to talk him into dropping out They tell him he can drop out without our permission at age 18, and the GED is sooooo easy! He, look, once he drops out, he can't re-enroll, then he's on his own. e's legally entitled to educational services from the state until he turns 22. School has NO right to direct his path, especially without consulting US first. They just want to get rid of him. I do believe if he drops out that would also hinder his eligibility for other programs. Look, we pay taxes, we're entitled to appropriate education for our son, not just what suits them
He's just not ready to take that step into the world of work yet, but I'm not giving up on him! He deserves all he is entitled to.
It is so very unusual, at least in my experience, for a school to encourage a teen to drop out. Are you sure that they didn't just answer his questions and say "Yes, a student can drop out at age 18" and not "We want you to drop out at age 18" ?
Does his school have computerized credit recovery programs? I have seen a number of students who "couldn't hack" regular classes just blossom when they were able to gain HS credits that way. Being able to do the work at their own pace, on a computer, is something that teens really value. Some schools even have special rooms and part day schedules so that the students aren't a part of the regular school (if they do not want to be). Check it out.
Yes, he's had an IEP for several years, and we have an upcoming ARD.
I was thinking along your lines, that SSDI can be temporary, while he achieves employable status. School is actually trying to talk him into dropping out They tell him he can drop out without our permission at age 18, and the GED is sooooo easy! He, look, once he drops out, he can't re-enroll, then he's on his own. e's legally entitled to educational services from the state until he turns 22. School has NO right to direct his path, especially without consulting US first. They just want to get rid of him. I do believe if he drops out that would also hinder his eligibility for other programs. Look, we pay taxes, we're entitled to appropriate education for our son, not just what suits them
He's just not ready to take that step into the world of work yet, but I'm not giving up on him! He deserves all he is entitled to.
I am not trying to be nasty, but to understand where this boy is. I thought you had posted that he quit school at 18 already.
The school trying to talk him into dropping out would be pretty terrible. Since you say you have an ARD coming up, I imagine you are in Texas. Actually, Texas has extended the time during which he could re-enroll to age 25. Note that there are online options through virtual high school (and there are free online courses not just tuition based ones). He could also take courses at the local community college with help.
It is so very unusual, at least in my experience, for a school to encourage a teen to drop out. Are you sure that they didn't just answer his questions and say "Yes, a student can drop out at age 18" and not "We want you to drop out at age 18" ?
Does his school have computerized credit recovery programs? I have seen a number of students who "couldn't hack" regular classes just blossom when they were able to gain HS credits that way. Being able to do the work at their own pace, on a computer, is something that teens really value. Some schools even have special rooms and part day schedules so that the students aren't a part of the regular school (if they do not want to be). Check it out.
This is such a hard place to be. You want the child to succeed and yet you realize much of what you would wish for him may be impossible.
My SO's son is just like this. Almost exactly. His mom is very sharp and has been doing all the right things. Kudos to her for having managed this tough situation for many years! I have no criticism of her at all. The young man just turned 21. He managed to graduate from his special needs High School and was immediately enrolled in a special needs 'college' sort of situation. He was given no choice in the matter. He is finding it difficult and most of the classwork is still below HS level in my opinion. It's mostly life skills type study. His main problem is dealing with all the social challenges and just people in general/growing up. He has a very hard time concentrating on his school work and is easily distracted by his classmate's drama.
I don't know at this point if he is capable of being employed. I am pretty sure he is not capable of making a living. He might be able to manage some kind of part time minimum wage job. Maybe! However, he is improving a lot. He is still developmentally behind but he is catching up. His written communications skills have come up a lot and his speech is still improving too. He uses a lot more words and can express himself well most of the time. So even at 21, he is still improving.
But in reality, his situation is dire. He will either be successful with this program and go on be a functioning individual or he will end up with some kind of MW McJob and eventually live in some kind of a group home. He doesn't understand how important it is to do his work and stay out of the drama. He tends to live in the right now and the distant future is not comprehensible to him.
His mom applied for and got everything for him. I'm not sure he even knows about the money. He has access to none of it(that would be a disaster) and he gets an allowance and has to do chores to earn it. His mom's rationale was that if he ever gets to the point where he can earn enough to live on and have health insurance(that's the BIG if), he can lose the disability. She has total and complete control of the money.
Of course, his future is still up in the air but at least he has everything. And it took 2 years to get the disability approved. If I was in your position, I would just get it done and limit the child's access to the money as much as possible. And BTW, if you have plans to leave this child an inheritance, get legal advice! It needs to be set up as a Special Needs Trust so it doesn't cancel out his disability.
He will be able to work part time without losing his coverage. It's a yearly amount just like with regular SS. The amount changes every year.
Personally, I would focus on getting him his diploma or GED, either one. Then he can look into job programs and other starting jobs, while he is gaining some maturity. He may need to be 20 before he has the occupational maturity that many 16 year olds have. Give him time before setting him up and locking in his future, one way or another.
Wait until he is 25-26 and attempt to get him working on his own before then. Over 90% of people on SSDI are on it for LIFE. That is in no way a good life.
Yes, he's had an IEP for several years, and we have an upcoming ARD.
I was thinking along your lines, that SSDI can be temporary, while he achieves employable status. School is actually trying to talk him into dropping out They tell him he can drop out without our permission at age 18, and the GED is sooooo easy! He, look, once he drops out, he can't re-enroll, then he's on his own. e's legally entitled to educational services from the state until he turns 22. School has NO right to direct his path, especially without consulting US first. They just want to get rid of him. I do believe if he drops out that would also hinder his eligibility for other programs. Look, we pay taxes, we're entitled to appropriate education for our son, not just what suits them
He's just not ready to take that step into the world of work yet, but I'm not giving up on him! He deserves all he is entitled to.
Our son was bum rushed out of school so don't feel alone in that. He acquired his GED and now, after a bunch of work he's almost got his B.A. finished so leaving H.S. is NOT an end of anything and can in fact be the start of great things.
Here's the catch though, the child has to be able to go along with and listen to what you're trying to set up for him. If he's not willing to comply or if he's not a partner in going to some kind of training be it vocational or college then he will fail. Thankfully I held enough sway (or power if you will) over him that he listens to what I say and "generally" goes in the direction I point him willingly.
SSDI will last as long as he needs it, until retirement age if necessary which is good or bad depending on HIS outlook. Our son simply HATES being on anything and desperately wants to work and pull his own weight. He understands that the path he's on should eventually allow him to do just that and can't wait to get there. Hopefully he will be able to manage his condition better now that he's older (23) and more aware of his actions.
I'd look at a vocational school first as it's faster paced and gets results much faster than the college route and could provide him with a very profitable vocation, one that could allow him to be his own boss early on which is a boon to someone with ADHD. Plumbing,Electrician, Welding,Machinist etc. would be my first suggestion.
Good luck and remember there is no shame in helping your child to succeed using every legal means to do so.
One final note, our son got SSDI the first time he/we applied. It took all of 5 months to be approved. I credit this to the doctor that wrote the report as she was a SSDI eval doctor as well as a private practice doctor.
Also, if college is his route find a college that has a program in place to help deal with your son. ASU is one of a few that has such a program and that's why our son went there. They were a HUGE help.
Last edited by jimj; 01-29-2015 at 07:02 AM..
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