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Your mom doesn't sound like she's looking for anything other than a way to get you out. Everyone knows to disturb nothing when looking through peoples stuff so they don't know you were there. If you know shes looking through your stuff it's because she wants you to know. $300 bucks a week is not a lot of money compared to real life expenses unless you can find a fully furnished all inclusive rent including cable and internet then you'll only have Security, transportation, food, healthcare, cellphone and house wares, to deal with. It is income tax season; If your leaving and employed that money is perfect for you to get a heads up but don't leave because your mom goes through your stuff leave because you're ready to try standing on your own. Thank her for supporting and inspiring you to make the move and tell her you'll call her with updates. You most likely will need her to cosign the lease for you. So be extra nice! No one but a parent will do that for you! It's not wise to cosign with anyone else either. No offense to women, but I think any woman you live with and have a relationship with will go through your stuff especially a mother.
Unless the room you're renting is a separate dwelling unit, you're more of a sub-tenant in someone else's primary residence. A lot of the rules that apply to tenants don't apply if they're sharing a living space. So legally you're on shaky ground especially if you don't have a detailed lease stating what you're actually paying for.
If you want it to stop, get a lease first that prohibits this. Then, start gathering evidence so you can file for a restraining order against your mom and have her removed from the property. Once she's out, you can do an illegal sublet to some friends and live there for free.
I'd recommend watching the movie Pacific Heights for additional ideas.
Being 18 doesn't mean a whole lot if you are still living with your parents. Have you even finished high school? If you're in college, who is paying the tuition? 300/week is a lot of money for an 18 year old to have accessible. If you are working full time and making enough to pay 300 a week, then be an adult and move out. Because I've known many people who've made such claims, I suspect that despite paying rent, you still aren't responsible for buying your own groceries, doing your own laundry, toiletries, ect. No matter how you pretty it up, it doesn't matter how old you are, mom's house, mom's rules.
Being 18 doesn't mean a whole lot if you are still living with your parents. Have you even finished high school? If you're in college, who is paying the tuition? 300/week is a lot of money for an 18 year old to have accessible. If you are working full time and making enough to pay 300 a week, then be an adult and move out. Because I've known many people who've made such claims, I suspect that despite paying rent, you still aren't responsible for buying your own groceries, doing your own laundry, toiletries, ect. No matter how you pretty it up, it doesn't matter how old you are, mom's house, mom's rules.
A friend of one of my children claimed that they were "totally self sufficient", paid rent every month to their parents and paid for everything else.
However, when asked the details, "of course" their parents still paid for their cell bill, "of course" their parent still paid for their car insurance, "of course" their parent still made monthly payments on their car, "of course" their parent paid all of their medical, vision and dental bills, "of course" their parent" bought and paid for all of their groceries, made all of their meals, did all of their laundry, did all of their household chores, etc. etc. And, "of course" their parent still bought their clothes & shoes (because they enjoyed doing it). Sheesh!
It turned out that the adult child probably was paying only about 20 or 25% of their actual expenses while claiming that they were totally "self sufficient". Maybe, that is the case with the OP or maybe not.
Another thing to consider is "what" the parent is looking through? Are they things purchased by the parents to be used at the house, such as bedding & towels, or clothing purchased by the parents, or a computer purchased by the parent? Or are they letters sent to the OP? Or items purchased by the OP with money that the OP earned at their job?
Last edited by germaine2626; 02-19-2015 at 08:55 PM..
If you want to be treated like an adult act like one, move out. Heck, you could even share an apartment. Tell your landlord or roommates not to let you Mother in the place.
My mom wanted to snoop even after I moved out. She would head straight to my bedroom closet when she came over. I don't know what she was looking for. So my husband bought a bunch of adult toys, nudie magazines, lubes, etc. and put them all over the closet, along with a couple of pairs of handcuffs hanging on the closet bar.
It didn't stop her, she started asking us to go buy lubes and adult videos for her (this was before you could get all that stuff on Amazon).
If you live in her house, she can. Of course it's too bad you apparently don't have a better relationship which is based on mutual trust.
I second the trust part. Sit down with your mom and explain your feelings and try to find out why she thinks she has a need to look through your things. You are an adult and should have a reasonable expectation of privacy, especially since you are paying rent.
If you are not satisfied with the outcome of the meeting or unwilling to abide by the rules of the house, then you should find alternate living arrangements.
If my child was in your situation, the only reason I would even think about going into their room would be if I thought they were doing something unlawful. But first I would have set up clear rules, such as no drugs or no one sleeping over, or whatever rule that needs to be made, prior to the living arrangement.
Because whatever is in the house is the responsibility of the homeowner, unless there is a signed lease.
Lack of a lease does not mean lack of tenancy.
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