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Most parents want to do what's best for their children, but people often overlook the importance of geography in determining what's best.
I like to use an example of two counties in Virginia - Buchanan and Fairfax. Fairfax is in the Washington DC metro area and is one of the wealthiest counties in the country. Life expectancy is around 80. Schools are generally good to excellent, with all the attendant high end extracurriculars and access that entails. Crime is low and the economy is booming. It's a great place to live.
Contrast the prosperity and quality of Fairfax County with that of Buchanan County. Buchanan County is among the poorest in the country and is butted up into the southwestern corner of the state. The county is hours away from a metro area of any consequence. The economy is among the worst in the nation. The county is among the poorest and most unhealthy in the country. Life expectancy for men is under 70 years. Schools are terrible.
Do you regret where you raised your kids if you didn't raise them in an environment of opportunity?
I am blessed to be able to live in a safe, pleasant, affluent area, one that is much like Fairfax County. So no, I don't regret where my kids are being raised. But not everyone has that opportunity. I would have to assume that people live in places like Buchanan County either because they can't afford anything better, or they have other valid reasons to stay there (family ties, etc.)
If one can improve their station in life, I do believe one should try to do it. But a lot of times, one must play the hand they're dealt, and make the best of it.
If one can improve their station in life, I do believe one should try to do it. But a lot of times, one must play the hand they're dealt, and make the best of it.
This ^^.
If you're broke, moving to Fairfax County isn't even an option.
People regret a lot of things they can't do anything about.
No, but with the older ones, I regret moving around so much. We were always trying to find better schools for them. The youngest went to the same school system from kindergarten through 9th grade (so far) and that is much better.
We moved from what may be considered a better "environment of opportunity" to a place with a better overall atmosphere. Sure there are fewer rich kids and fancy schools. They will not get to ride in a BMW or Mercedes, but they have hundreds of acres of woods, streams rivers lakes, fields to play in, not parking lots and paved sidewalks. To me the importance of atmosphere includes room to play and explore. A place where you do not need to be concerned about safety (at least safety from other people). That is more important in my estimation than living in a city or densely populated area rife with opportunity. I prefer my kids grow up knowing how to fish and kayak, and sneak up on a fox, than attending the school with the nations best robotics team. I think they will ultimately be happier people even if they make a bit less money and work less demanding jobs.
Depends on what kind of opportunities you want them to have, doesn't it? If you want culture and exposure to a variety of people from all walks of life, yes, Fairfax is the place to be. But if you homeschool and provide a religious education and teaching your children how to live off the land is something of value to you; then a rural community would be ideal. Doesn't mean they have less opportunities for growth and development; just different experiences. And one isn't necessarily better than another. And on a personal note, the traffic in Fairfax is horrendous...
I don't really see how the environment you raise your child in makes a huge difference in how you raise your child.
Many children who were raised in extremely poor environments have grown up to become very successful and many children who were raised in extremely rich environments have grown up to become serial killers.
It is how you raise a child not where in my opinion however, that only counts until the child is old enough to make their own decisions.
You can teach them all you want but you cannot force them to abide by your teaching if they choose not to.
Yes and no. I don't particularly like Long island and wish we had raised our kids elsewhere, but at the same time they haven't been at any significant disadvantage by staying here.
I grew up in a poor rural area, but I had a great childhood. A loving, 2-parent household, a large extended family nearby, fields full of high grass, woods, a creek to explore, and a few friends with whom to run around and build forts. We had a large garden that we all worked, wild berries grew all around, there was an apple orchard just over the hill. It was awesome. I was never hungry, there was a roof over my head, and clothes on my back. It was perfect, honestly.
I fail to see where a wealthy area is considered "better". My experience has been the exact opposite of that. Not that I want to raise my kids in the slums by any means, but we've found that living in solid "middle class" areas have been far better than living in wealthy communities. While income levels were not necessarily "middle class" the mindset was. Teenagers were expected to help around the house, get part-time jobs, no one was given a brand new car when they turned 16, etc. The schools typically are better in middle class areas, the people are more real, there isn't the expectation that you have to wear a certain brand of jeans to fit in and most of the kids work for what they have vs expecting it to be handed to them. Our kids grew up about 3 hours from a major metro area. They had a quite childhood where they could walk to school, walk to friends houses, bike around town and generally grow up feeling safe and loved. While it wasn't a big town, it wasn't a town of 500 people either. The schools were excellent because it was expected that you do well in school and go on to college by most people in the area, but the pressure to only go to Harvard certainly was not there either. We traveled to the metro areas (and around the country for that matter) and they had plenty of cultural experiences, etc. Our kids got to grow up with out the drama usually associated with the wealthy mindset, even though the average income level there was well above the national "middle class" standard.
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