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I definitely agree with the article and think it's awful and has to change, because it's taking a toll on
children's imaginations and ability to genuinely connect with others.
I've noticed this in the younger kids especially-- they want an iPhone instead of going outside, finding a really nice stick and making a sword out of it. They need to buy heaps of expensive equipment and join a local team instead of playing foot hockey with four pieces of wood and a puck. Or they need to have a computer with expensive software instead of some pencils, paper and an imagination. I've actually travelled to places where children could amuse themselves by drawing in the dirt and collecting rocks-- it's because they still have sharp senses and keen imaginations. You don't see that so much in the west anymore-- everything is money money money, bigger, better, more novel and more cutting edge.
BUT I would also argue that humans aren't as materialistic as we seem-- the only reason we are materialistic is because the culture of greed has taken hold and forced us to define ourselves by what we consume. Partially through advertising, but primarily through good old fashioned peer pressure.
Ultimately, we go to work because if we don't we will lose access to health care, higher education, food, and shelter. But then there's the rest of the money, and we use that to fit in with the other people in our communities. We can't have the ugliest, most run down house on the block. Our kids can't be the only ones wearing second hand clothes. If the neighbor's kid has an iPhone, I guess we have to buy one for our kid too. This is what's driving the wealth imbalance, and also what is turning human beings into consumers (and they're not the same thing).
I'm not sure what communities are doing to foster a good old fashioned sense of creative play in children, but I definitely think we could all benefit by unplugging more often and doing more with less.
I'm not sure how doing extra chores for money inhibits creative play? Or forces a keeping up with Jones' attitude? My kids make extra money to buy things they want and we are anything but a Jones household. Currently both kids are outside climbing trees.
We don't believe in rewarding good grades with money or gifts. Experience...yes. We don't pay for chores. The kids are expected to do chores so they learn how to work together to keep the family going. We do give allowances to help them learn how to manage money.
Do you reward with money? How do you feel about this article?
"Honey we're so proud that you got straight A ' s - we know you really worked hard to achieve that. Here's $50 toward that iPad you've had your eye on"
"Honey we're so proud that you got straight A ' s - we know you worked hard to achieve that. Let's all fly to Florida and go swimming with the dolphins."
I dunno...which one sounds more materialistic the money or the experience?
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Wow. When I was a kid, we got a quarter for each A, a dime for each B, and a nickel for each C.
The only reason my kids get a small allowance for doing chores is so they can pay me for the chores they don't do. That's the way the real world works: do it yourself or pay someone else to do it for you.
I'll give them money for straight A's because that's how the real world works: straight A's earn you scholarships and grants.
The idea of rewarding vs not rewarding is confusing. I've heard the argument that you shouldn't use rewards, because that's supposed to reduce intrinsic motivation. But they really do work.
I tried rewards once to get my daughter to practice piano. She hardly ever practiced for her first year of lessons, then I tried a reward system, and she practiced every day. But when I stopped using rewards, she stopped practicing again. I'm not going to force her to practice, because I want her to like it. But without a reward system, she's just not motivated to practice every day!
I read an interesting argument in favor of rewards, that in the real world most of us work for rewards (income), so paying kids to do chores or study is preparing them for the real world of work. Sounds like a good argument to me.
Maybe I should start paying my daughter for studying and piano practice and chores? (Then she can use that money to buy her own paper and crayons!)
Actually, I got mostly As and a few Bs, but Dad did promise to pay a nickel for Cs. Nothing for Ds, and he threatened to make us pay him if we got an F.
I don't have a huge opinion here. But I don't agree with this point. You get paid for providing some kind of useful service. Kids are not providing a useful service when they go to school, they receive the benefit of an education.
Eh...there are lots of things in life that we see as "chores" even though we receive intrinsic value by virtue of their accomplishment. It doesn't mean we don't occasionally reward ourselves when we complete the chore.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tlarnla
Wow. When I was a kid, we got a quarter for each A, a dime for each B, and a nickel for each C.
It was merely an example of how the argument of rewarding with an "experience" could potentially be at least as materialistic as rewarding with money.
I never received rewards for grades and neither did we reward grades to either children. With the exception of straight As. And it was not out there as an incentive but rewarded after the fact - as a "attaboy/girl". Both my kids were academic late bloomers so it is not something that has come up often.
I remember back in the late 80's and early 90's everyone said the same thing about my generation.. everyone said we were spoiled and so very materialist , honestly I don't see any difference between now and then. We did not get paid to do chores, which in fact my mother and father had us all 4 kids do. The boys cut grass picked up sticks gathered fire wood in the summer and fall, my sisters did the house work and we all had our beds made before we went to school. Now my nieces and nephews did not know how to make a bed by the time they graduated high school and my sister insists she was lax on them due to our"abusive"(her words) upbringing...her children are impossible to be around.
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