Youth Sports. Too Much? (average, games, parents, wife)

[cpg35223]

Hey, most of us with kids have sat in the stands watching one of our kids play soccer, baseball, football, lacrosse or volleyball. It's part of the fun of parenting. It means healthier kids with more balance to their lives and it really teaches a lot of lessons that can't be picked up in a classroom.

At the same time, when does it become too much? A few years ago, when my son was in sixth grade, he was heavily lobbied to join a travel ball team. We looked at the expense, the amount of time spent on the road, and a host of other factors, and said 'no way.' Basically, it would have meant that my wife and I would never see each other, or our other two children would have to surrender their lives for the sake of my son's travel ball team. So we said no, to the total shock of the other parents.

Over the years, we've encountered a lot of strange decisions made by parents for the sake of youth sports. Such as the decision to hold a kid back a year in school simply so he could be bigger by the time he hit high school. Or the money and time invested. And now, it's looking as if this transformation of youth sports into almost an after-school job for kids is beginning to have adverse effects on the kids' physical well-being. Here's an article with one of the country's most distinguished orthopedic surgeons, a guy who is the go-to when it comes to treating professional athletes:

Alabama-based surgeon to the stars pleads with parents to give young athletes a break - Yellowhammer News

So are we inadvertently causing harm to kids with this culture of continual sports? I'll hang up and listen.

[Book Lover 21]

I agree completely. Usually they burn out on that sport way too early.

Also, if you have more than one kid, the other siblings are almost certainly going to get the short end of the stick.

And how many of these kids actually WANT an arduous schedule like this? I have to believe the majority of the time it's the parents pushing from behind.

In my family, the child himself decides what sports he wants to participate in and how serious he wants to get with it. My only rule is that they must finish the season once they start. But if they don't want to pick it up the next year, that's up to them.

[Mattie]

Travel sports are a big commitment, but for the right kids, they have their benefits. We did various travel teams with all three of our sons. Living in a rural area at one point, you either traveled, or settled for a very ragtag rec program. We traveled. It was a family affair on weekends, but during the week one parent stayed home with the siblings, the other went with whoever was playing.

Once they reach high school, half the games are away anyway.

[hypocore]

I think that for a certain type of child and their family that select sports are the perfect fit.

For instance, my sister, her husband and 4 of the 5 kids are all soccer players. Time and money very invested and there are some payoffs. 1st son didn't play. Oldest daughter got a full ride scholarship for soccer (although she walked away from it after 3 semesters-another story). 2nd son played but chose not to continue in college. 3rd son got scholarship for soccer although he is more an average player. Youngest daughter has decided to not play select anymore now that she is a junior in high school, but still plays on the school team. She could easily get a scholarship as well. So, 3 out of 4 players could have college paid for. My sister still plays in an indoor league, so she keeps in shape and good health by playing. It works for them.

I also think that for most children and their families it is not the best choice.

My son plays baseball and is the only one of my 4 that does any sport. He played select ball one season and it was just not a good experience. He also played all star ball two summers ago. We all learned that the time commitment, the money needed and the travel is just not a good fit for him or us. He is good, loves to play, but he wants to have fun. Select and all star baseball felt like drudgery to him. It went on too long, had to travel too often and had too many practices he says. He was asked again this spring to join a select team with a coach we have had more than once, but he says NOPE. We agreed. So he will play on the rec league again and enjoy himself and still have time to do other things.

[Qwerty]

I'm all for sports and as long as the CHILD is driving the participation and the parents aren't pushing the child, it's fine. What I do not like is the sports specialization at such a young, young age. It is so harmful on their muscles and joints to only play baseball or only swim or whatever. It's just too much of the same stress over and over again. Most kids that play LOVE one sport, but that doesn't mean they won't like others as well.

Now, kids who are pushed into sports, even if they like the sport, but maybe don't want to be at the competitive level their parents want is not good. I know people that have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on sports for kids through league fees, travel, equipment, etc. hoping for that "big" scholarship....not really adding up that those same dollars you spent to get that scholarship cost you MORE than college would have . Not to mention the amount of time college sports take up.

[HighFlyingBird]

I think the whole sports culture for kids is asinine and misguided. I can't even tell you the nightmare stories from our time in soccer and little league baseball

[stan4]

I say this as a lifelong and high school/college athlete:

I want my kids to play sports so they understand teamwork, dedication, mastering a new skill, sportsmanship, perseverance, accountability, etc. And so that they develop a lifelong habit to stay in shape and enjoy socially with others.
For similar reasons, I expect them to learn an instrument.

I have no delusions about their slim chance of an athletic scholarship (which will likely interfere with their getting a really good education anyway) or their infinitesimal chance of 'going pro.'

So I'm not involving myself in the nonsense.

[Natsku]

Everything in moderation I say. Its good to play sports a bit, to teach teamwork, healthy exercise and dedication but its important to not let it take the life out of balance. So long as the children still have plenty of time for school work, family time and time for themselves then its all good.

I'm not going to push any sport on my kid but if she would like to play something then I will encourage her.

[steelers1523]

I think the key is to do as much as your kid wants to do. Never force them to play a sport, but also try your hardest to allow them to play as much as they want.

[steelers1523]

I honestly think it builds a lot of character.