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Old 03-28-2015, 09:13 AM
 
12,966 posts, read 10,114,410 times
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Serious family counseling needed here. See if you can get her some volunteer time at a stable. Horses are great for girls. Plus, riding will make her more conscientious of her weight. Men ride all the time at that weight so it's wrong to think she's too heavy to ride a horse. Still, being on top of a horse and around horses caring for them makes me more aware of my own health.

You need to be able to put her in her place, too, when tries to bully you and that could get ugly. Find out FAST how you're supposed to legally handle that.
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Old 03-28-2015, 10:03 AM
 
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Is she fat, muscular or some combination of the two? 210 seems very heavy for a girl that age/height. My son is 16, about the same height. He lifts weights and he weighs around 175. He is not small or thin. A girl his height, weighing 35 lb more would concern me.

Girls typically do not put on the type of muscle mass that boys do without some type of supplementation no matter how much they lift. They can get really strong, but manly amounts of muscle mass are unusual in girls, especially if they are only 13. I would look into it further.
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Old 03-28-2015, 11:10 AM
 
Location: PA
15 posts, read 18,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by parentologist View Post
First of all, yes, it is possible for a girl to grow that much in a year, but it's unusual. Some girls do gain a lot of weight with puberty - I've seen them gain 40 lb in a year - but it's not a good thing. A normal weight for a 5'10" girl would be 150 - 160 lb. 210 puts her at 50 lb overweight, and well into the obese range.

If she's weight lifting, could it be that she is secretly taking a testosterone-like supplement? That could certainly account for the increasing muscle mass, and the aggression. You need to find out if she is, and get her to stop. Sounds like a visit to the pediatrician is definitely in order, and possibly to a pediatric endocrinologist. As for her aggressive behavior towards you: You and your partner need to have a serious discussion beforehand. You should not have to deal with ANY physical aggression from her! You both need to be on the same page about this. Then, you both need to have a very serious discussion with her, and let her know that she can NEVER lift a hand to either of you. Tell her that you will either call the police and put her into the care of the department of social services, or that you will put her into a psychiatric institution if she ever does that again - make sure she knows that you mean it, and if she ever gets "physical" again with you, call the local emergency psych services number immediately. In fact, post it prominently on the fridge, so she knows that you will do it.
Hi, we've taken her in for two physicals recently where they've taken blood and urine samples, and everything has come back negative for drugs. In fact, except for being overweight, the doctor said she is very healthy, but said she should mix in more cardio and stretching and cut back on the weight lifting.

And as a side note, she has the same build as her mom and grandmother, who are both over 6' tall and very broad shouldered.
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Old 03-28-2015, 01:28 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
5,758 posts, read 4,076,758 times
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Sounds like the doc already gave you your answer, then.

Rather than nagging her about her weight or saying things about her body, which are liable to give even the most confident teenage girl issues, I'd suggest taking up a good cardio activity with her. Something you'd both enjoy. Good opportunity to improve the relationship and to get in shape.

Not to be too blunt, but if your daughter is a healthy tank, then your daughter being stronger than you is something you just need to come to terms with...more your issue than hers, possibly.
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Old 03-28-2015, 01:32 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
23,268 posts, read 14,457,000 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ethan2112 View Post
Hi, we've taken her in for two physicals recently where they've taken blood and urine samples, and everything has come back negative for drugs. In fact, except for being overweight, the doctor said she is very healthy, but said she should mix in more cardio and stretching and cut back on the weight lifting.

And as a side note, she has the same build as her mom and grandmother, who are both over 6' tall and very broad shouldered.
So presumably your wife is stronger than you are too? So have your wife give her a smackdown.

No, I'm not being serious, I don't think there should be physical altercations or punishments in any family.

I do think you could use some family counseling to make sure you are all clear with and respectful of appropriate boundaries.
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Old 03-28-2015, 02:00 PM
 
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I think it can be normal to some extent. One of my daughters was always slim growing up, but developed a HUGE apetite at puberty. We all thought it was cute that she could put away so much food, but she stopped growing at 5 ft 4, but kept eating like she was going through puberty! She ended up packing on about 30 lbs to her frame. She still LOVES to eat, and tends to eat a lot at one sitting, but she is very active so her weight is stable.

If there is a tendency to be overweight/obese, the teen years seems to be when it often shows up. I think with kids it's easier because they tend to grow into their weight. Once they stop growing they will get fat.
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Old 03-28-2015, 02:01 PM
 
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Also 210 lbs and 6 ft seems pretty normal to me (if she ends up at that height). If she is extra muscular that will account for some of the weight, too.
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Old 03-28-2015, 02:04 PM
 
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And lastly, one of my daughters gained a huge amount of weight in one year (50 lbs), and she was diagnosed with insulin resistance. She is on Metformin and hasn't gained any weight in 6+ months.
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Old 03-28-2015, 02:06 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
5,758 posts, read 4,076,758 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shaylahc View Post
Also 210 lbs and 6 ft seems pretty normal to me (if she ends up at that height). If she is extra muscular that will account for some of the weight, too.
There's also a huge difference in viable weight when talking about someone with a light build at that height, versus with a heavy build at that height. Some people are just built burly - it's less common for women to be, but not so rare as to be weird. I have a friend whose skeleton alonewouldn't be a size 8, lol...she could be skin and bones and still weigh what sounds like a lot to some people. And with muscle weighing more than fat, throw on some muscle and the numbers can go up pretty quickly.
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Old 03-28-2015, 02:41 PM
 
Location: West of Louisiana, East of New Mexico
2,681 posts, read 2,322,760 times
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What I've learned is that most kids end up looking like (in terms of physical build) people in their family. My mom's family is comprised almost entirely of medium-build men, like 400 m runner type builds. My dad's family is big. Those that workout regularly are thick and muscular. Those that don't workout are chunky.

My body type seems to fall in between mom and dad; big shoulders, chest and short stature like mom, but medium calves, big thighs and butt like dad.
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