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I am a senior in high school,and outside of school I do not hang out with anyone,text with anyone,talk with anyone on the phone. Most of my peers at schools are or seem immature or a troublemaker or both,so I keep my distance from them.But I guess I can try harder to make friends. Anyway,this worries my mom,and she thinks that I will be like this when I become an adult also. My question is,parents would you be worried if this was your child and they seem to have no close friends,and would you think that your child would be the same as an adult?
It would be cause for concern. I would wonder if my child wasn't in the right school for her. Have you always been this way or did you let friends go as time went by? Are you depressed? Are you interested in doing things outside of school that would allow you to meet new people? These are some of the questions I would have.
If the child was unhappy then yes, otherwise I would not be concerned. And no, I don't think it means they'll never have friends as adults. Often in college things change, classes are different and someone can find more people with similar interests, same with the workplace. High school is an artificial environment, the cliques and so on.
If they had no friends at all then yes, it would concern me. Less so if they seemed happy that way, but truthfully, it would still concern me. I would worry that there was some issue, that they lacked the social capacity to make friends.
At your age, I didn't have any friends from school for the same reason as you, but I had friends from a hobby that I was active in (mostly college aged kids).
I wouldn't worry if my child was happy. Some kids aren't as social as others, or connect with fewer people in general. I was that way - I had one or two close friends, and didn't really socialize beyond that. I was (and still am!) content like that. I'm discerning about with whom I spend my time, not much for meaningless chit-chat, etc.
If you have interests & hobbies outside of school, it makes more sense to connect with people over those - it's silly to think the random group of same-age people you go to school with should be your source for social interaction. That's not true at any other time of life, why should it be true just because you're there now?
I would feel differently if you *wanted* to be friends with your schoolmates, but felt like you couldn't be, for some reason. It sounds like you know you won't have much in common with them - it's good to know yourself so well!
I would be worried if my child didn't have the social skills necessary to make friends. I wouldn't be worried if he/she preferred to spend most of his/her time alone or with a small circle of friends.
Do you have any friends at all? If not, can you use your interests --- sports, music, theater, etc. --- to find other people your age to befriend? If your peers seem immature maybe you can reach out to people a few years older.
On a personal note, I was painfully shy in high school and only had one friend. As I grew older it became easier to make friends and today I have a nice circle of caring friends and acquaintances although I still enjoy spending time by myself and I only have a few friends that I feel comfortable confiding in.
What do you do with your spare time? Are you just sitting around the house moping or is there somethng you're interested in that keeps you busy and productive? I'd be worried about the child with no friends who just sat around all day doing nothing. If they had a hobby or kept busy with something productive I'd be less worried.
Are you going to college? You will meet different kinds of people there (or in the work force) who should appeal to you more. If you still had no friends in your 20's I'd be worried. By that time the "immature" or "troublemaker" labels on people will no longer be a reason for not having friends.
If you have online friends & interests, I believe that counts, too! While you do want to make sure you have IRL people skills, if you're connecting with folks online, those are friends! The world is changing - the way we make friends and why we consider someone a friend is changing, too!
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